# Speak to me only in Science Fiction **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [June 12, 2014, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621 "2014-06-12T13:28:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/561 "2014-08-05T22:32:34Z")
It had legs like a giant spider, an-an-an eye, and two antennas sticking out the front, and it touched me with one of them, and I was paralyzed. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/562 "2014-08-05T22:43:09Z")
I’d say that gizmo is a machine from another planet. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/563 "2014-08-05T22:49:57Z")
I’m not interested in your little ideas. I’m interested in something much larger. This habitat is dying. There is a political sickness inside of it. A tumor that needs to be removed. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/564 "2014-08-05T23:08:18Z")
And I’ve never believed in little green men. (Spock’s comment on overhearing this: Neither have I.) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/565 "2014-08-05T23:14:11Z")
…strange visitor from another planet. Who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/566 "2014-08-05T23:14:36Z")
Your bacteria has the potential destructive power of the atom bomb. …And you’re not taking the proper precautions. The residue from your bacteria culture tanks is draining into those marshes and contaminating the sea. Who can tell what monsters you’re breeding out there. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/567 "2014-08-05T23:16:47Z")
Yeah well, I was always drawn to the water. Always felt like a part of it. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2014, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/568 "2014-08-05T23:29:02Z")
“It looks like our gruesome enemy may outlive us all for, apparently, it is impervious to death. Bullets have no effect on it. I emptied a gun directly into its horrible body but nothing happened. The monster became so enraged it broke its chains, and I barely got away in time. An hour ago, it was prowling below deck, and the men are taking to the lifeboats. In a moment, I will…” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/569 "2014-08-06T00:00:49Z")
It’s alive! It’s Aliiiiiive!!! ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/570 "2014-08-06T00:10:54Z")
It’s already mutated into human form, shoot it! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/571 "2014-08-06T00:14:43Z")
We needed a new weapon. The world came together, pooling it’s resources and throwing aside old rivalries for the sake of the greater good. To fight monsters, we created monsters of our own. The Jaeger program was born. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/572 "2014-08-06T03:49:00Z")
Flee! He has a board with a nail in it! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/573 "2014-08-06T03:55:07Z")
Oh, the pain, the pain. (bit of a stretch) ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/574 "2014-08-06T11:24:25Z")
Go ahead, stomp me good. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/575 "2014-08-06T12:00:55Z")
Okay, but after dinner, don’t put any of those old cheap moves on me. It’s different now. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/576 "2014-08-06T14:28:23Z")
As I told my husband, it was in the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink, and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that’s where he told me about the end of the world. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/577 "2014-08-06T15:07:23Z")
To put you at ease, we have recreated the most common spawning locations of your species. You may choose either, the back seat of a Camaro, an airplane bathroom, a friend’s wedding, or the alley behind a porno theater. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/578 "2014-08-06T15:18:21Z")
Hey, you try making love to a complete stranger in a hostile, mutant environment, see how you like it. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/579 "2014-08-06T15:57:40Z")
If this is foreplay, I’m a dead man. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2014, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/580 "2014-08-06T16:03:17Z")
She was a dull person, but a sensational invitation to make babies. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621.md?page=28) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621.md?page=30)