# Speak to me only in Science Fiction **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [June 12, 2014, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621 "2014-06-12T13:28:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/61 "2014-06-14T19:50:10Z")
Anybody ever tell you you look dead, man? ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/62 "2014-06-14T21:41:54Z")
When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2014, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/63 "2014-06-14T23:59:40Z")
It wants me! It wants food! But it has no stomach, can take no nourishment from what it ingests. It’s acting on INSTINCT! ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/64 "2014-06-15T00:10:16Z")
“Birds, you know, are warmblooded.” ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/65 "2014-06-15T00:59:37Z")
TANSTAAFL! i ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/66 "2014-06-15T02:28:00Z")
There ain’t no tanj justice. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/67 "2014-06-15T02:34:38Z")
“The ape escaped a fifth way.” ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/68 "2014-06-15T02:41:46Z")
A planet where apes evolved from men? There’s got to be an answer. ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/69 "2014-06-15T02:54:51Z")
Plant tree-of-life all through Congo National Park. Organize the monkey and chimpanzee protectors. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/70 "2014-06-15T03:58:11Z")
Do you seriously expect me to tell the President that an alien has landed, assumed the identity of a dead housepainter from Madison, Wisconsin, and is presently out tooling around the countryside in a hopped-up orange and black 1977 Mustang? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/71 "2014-06-15T08:12:42Z")
[Yes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AeVkHQ2uCA) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/72 "2014-06-15T13:59:03Z")
Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave? ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/73 "2014-06-15T15:50:24Z")
I have no mouth. And I must scream. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/74 "2014-06-15T16:01:24Z")
Suppose a person couldn’t possibly scream? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/75 "2014-06-15T17:34:18Z")
Sorry. Uh, sorry. I got a little agitated. The thought of escape crossed my mind, and then suddenly — suddenly — _suddenly_ I felt like bending the fucking bars back, ripping the goddamn window frames and eating them — yes, eating them! Leaping, leaping, leaping! Colonics for everyone! All right! You dumbasses, I’m a mental patient. I’m supposed to act out! ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/76 "2014-06-15T18:38:23Z")
I’d buy that for a dollar! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/77 "2014-06-15T18:54:33Z")
I’m being ironic. Don’t interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it’s not polite. There! ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/78 "2014-06-15T19:12:23Z")
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/79 "2014-06-15T20:49:10Z")
When I catch up with him, I’m gonna make the dismemberment of Mad Emperor Yuri look like a tea party. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2014, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621/80 "2014-06-15T23:09:45Z")
You break all the laws of physics and you seriously think there wouldn’t be a price? You went and killed the last fucking crew, and now you wanna kill us as well! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-science-fiction/690621.md?page=5)