# Speak to me only in Seinfeld quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 23, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397 "2012-08-23T17:54:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/1 "2012-08-23T17:54:02Z")
I love Seinfeld and have friends and coworkers that toss out quotes from it all the time. So in the spirit of the movie, video games, and Simpsons threads, speak to me only in Seinfeld quotes! See, now to me, that button is in the worst possible spot. The second button literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it, it’s too high, it’s in no-man’s land. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/2 "2012-08-23T18:15:10Z")
Mr. Thomassoulo likes to play dirty. Well, there’s nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/3 "2012-08-23T18:31:39Z")
I’m out! ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/4 "2012-08-23T18:37:04Z")
No soup for you! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/5 "2012-08-23T18:41:01Z")
What’s in the BIG salad? ---
**Author:** ![lost4life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@lost4life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lost4life)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/6 "2012-08-23T18:45:03Z")
It’s a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife; the only friend who hasn’t betrayed you, the only friend who won’t be dead by sun up. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/7 "2012-08-23T19:38:29Z")
I tell you, that was one magic loogy. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/8 "2012-08-23T19:53:54Z")
I think it moved! ---
**Author:** ![Raza](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raza/32/213_2.png) [@Raza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raza)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/9 "2012-08-23T20:45:12Z")
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/10 "2012-08-23T20:54:04Z")
But that’s the sign isn’t it? If a guy makes it move? ---
**Author:** ![Sudden\_Kestrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Sudden\_Kestrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sudden_Kestrel)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/11 "2012-08-23T21:39:30Z")
These pretzels are making me thirsty. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/12 "2012-08-23T21:46:03Z")
Snapple? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/13 "2012-08-23T22:19:45Z")
They’re real, and they’re spectacular. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/14 "2012-08-23T22:31:43Z")
It was a scratch! There was no pick! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/15 "2012-08-23T22:33:31Z")
See, that’s the great thing about Mediterranean women. All right, so what’d you do? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/16 "2012-08-23T22:58:23Z")
But I don’t _wanna_ be a pirate! ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/17 "2012-08-24T01:55:57Z")
“What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?” “Fake, fake, fake, fake!” Also: “I was never much one for creeds.” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/18 "2012-08-24T02:06:14Z")
Mulva. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/19 "2012-08-24T02:10:18Z")
George: The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at a deli!.. Kramer: What is that a Titleist? A hole in one eh. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397/20 "2012-08-24T02:25:24Z")
Oh, you may stray, but you’ll always return to your dark master - the cocoa bean! It’s more like a full-body dry heave set to music. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-seinfeld-quotes/632397.md?page=2)