# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2012, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/242 "2012-09-26T10:53:17Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > “He’s jumping out of the car Kent! He’s trying to climb over the fence! Now he’s realizing he’s too fat! He’s digging a hole like a dog! Now he’s given up on that and he’s running back and forth! He’s climbing into a pipe and he seems to be stuck! His legs are dangling in a comical fashion! It’s the saddest thing I’ve ever seen!” “Arnie, Arnie, are the children all right?” “I can’t see through METAL, Kent!” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/243 "2012-09-27T08:33:47Z")
The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity… ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/244 "2012-09-27T14:13:14Z")
Lace: the final brassiere. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/245 "2012-09-27T15:16:06Z")
Flupid bloroplope. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/246 "2012-09-28T20:30:34Z")
Last week, some Jehovah’s Witnesses came to the door, and I wouldn’t let them leave. They snuck away when I went into the kitchen to get more lemonade. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/247 "2012-09-28T20:34:29Z")
Traffic this morning is as bad as it gets. Due to a fire at the Army testing lab, a bunch of escaped infected monkeys are roaming the expressway. Despite the sweltering heat, don’t unroll your windows, 'cause those monkeys seem confused and irritable. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/248 "2012-09-28T21:52:14Z")
**Krusty** : Look, uh… about the Ribwich: there aren’t gonna be any more. The animal we made them from is now extinct. **Homer** (_gasps_): The pig?! **Krusty** : You’re WAY off. Think smaller… Think more legs. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/249 "2012-09-28T21:55:32Z")
Also, my Simpsons mental video jukebox produced this quote at once the other day when my 8 year old son said he wished we had (more) canteloupe: “Canteloupe? You’re not missing much. Honeydew is the MONEY melon.” Nobody in the room got it but me (in fact, my 11 year old daughter piped up that she doesn’t really care for honeydew), but that’s all right. Giggling from having randomly triggered \*Simpsons \*quotes or clips run through my head is what gets me standing room on the NYC subway. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/250 "2012-09-28T23:14:38Z")
What good is money if it can’t inspire terror in your fellow man? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/251 "2012-09-30T11:35:10Z")
You sound like you’re ready to become your own boss in the exciting world of frame-nudging! Yes, for a minimal franchise fee, you’ll receive a pair of straightening gloves, a canister of wall lubricant, and a booklet of the most commonly asked questions you will hear – including, “Who are you?” and “What are you doing here?” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/252 "2012-09-30T18:12:31Z")
No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/253 "2012-10-01T15:07:47Z")
Ah, these Laramie cigarettes give me the steady nerves that I need to combat evil. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/254 "2012-10-01T15:59:22Z")
Can’t you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can’t be policing the entire city! ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/255 "2012-10-01T17:22:04Z")
**Skinner** : Uh-oh, two Independent Thought Alarms in one day! The children are overstimulated… Willie, remove all the colored chalk from the classrooms! **Groundskeeper Willie** : I warned ya! Didn’t I warn ya? That colored chalk was forged by Lucifer himself! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/256 "2012-10-01T17:31:16Z")
Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? _Why did I have the bowl?_ ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/257 "2012-10-01T20:20:44Z")
I got nothing against him, but I’m definitely gonna make orphans of his children ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2012, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/258 "2012-10-02T07:06:38Z")
I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks _and_ blows. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2012, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/259 "2012-10-02T13:31:11Z")
I saw Krabappel’s butt; I paid. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/260 "2012-10-02T15:28:47Z")
No, no, no, no, no, young man, you need to do some SERIOUS boning! ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/261 "2012-10-02T19:13:03Z")
Come on, Dad, you’ll love New York now that your two least favorite buildings have been obliterated: Old Penn Station and Shea stadium. Lousy out-dated relics. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=14)