# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/402 "2012-11-26T17:33:51Z")
Fiddle-dee-dee! That will require a tetanus shot. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/403 "2012-11-26T17:53:28Z")
Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace “accidentally” with “repeatedly,” and replace “dog” with “son.” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/404 "2012-11-26T17:57:58Z")
Pfft, English. Who needs that? I’m never going to England. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2012, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/405 "2012-11-26T21:40:22Z")
Look, Homer, all of us pull a few boners now and then, go off half-cocked, make asses of ourselves. So, I don’t want to be hard on you, but I just wish you wouldn’t curse in front of my boys. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/406 "2012-11-27T05:07:02Z")
I did go to the town meeting with the intention of ambushing Mr. Burns. After the meeting, I rushed to the bathroom to apply my camoflauge make-up. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/407 "2012-11-27T11:12:30Z")
I used to be With IT. But then they changed what IT was. Now what I’m with isn’t IT, and what’s IT seems scary and wierd. It’ll happen to YOU. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/408 "2012-11-27T17:24:09Z")
Now Homer, I know what you’re thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now, it doesn’t take a “whiz” to know that you’re looking out for “Number One”. Well, listen to me, and you’ll make a big splash very soon. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/409 "2012-11-27T17:25:58Z")
“I’m not calling you a liar but….I can’t think of a way to finish that sentence.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/410 "2012-11-27T20:53:15Z")
Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/411 "2012-11-27T20:56:46Z")
Simpson, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/412 "2012-11-27T22:22:11Z")
Poachers are nature’s way of keeping the balance. Whenever there are so many species that people get confused and angry a poacher is born. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/413 "2012-11-28T03:53:13Z")
Mmmm…various eggs. Mmmm…unexplained bacon. > [@buddha\_david](#): > > Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet. That is one of the _Simpsons’_ all-time greatest moments, perhaps behind only Frank Grimes’s electrocution and the opening credit sequence featuring Ke$ha’s “TiK ToK.” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/414 "2012-11-28T05:17:27Z")
If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they’re about to announce the lottery numbers. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/415 "2012-11-28T14:13:59Z")
We’re the baddest punks in our age bracket. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/416 "2012-11-28T14:43:07Z")
Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster’s dictionary describes a wedding as “the process of removing weeds from one’s garden”. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/417 "2012-11-28T14:44:18Z")
Webster’s dictionary defines excellence as “the state or condition of being excellent”. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/418 "2012-11-28T14:53:14Z")
Dad didn’t leave! When he comes back from the store, he’s going to wave those Pop-Tarts right in your face! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/419 "2012-11-28T14:55:37Z")
Yes, the Simpsons have come a long way since an old drunk made humans out of his rabbit characters to pay off his gambling debts. Who knows what adventures they’ll have between now and the time the show becomes unprofitable? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/420 "2012-11-28T15:16:39Z")
Lisa, get in here… In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/421 "2012-11-29T04:24:47Z")
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=22)