# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/422 "2012-11-29T05:41:00Z")
I think it’s ironic that Dad saved the day while a thinner man would have fallen to his death. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/423 "2012-11-29T09:56:49Z")
And I think it’s ironic that for once Dad’s butt _prevented_ the release of toxic ga– ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/424 "2012-11-29T11:21:02Z")
I’m going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won’t be back for TEN MINUTES. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/425 "2012-11-29T13:28:18Z")
“We have lots of names for these people. Bums. Deadbeats. Losers. Scums of the Earth. We’d like to sweep these people into the gutter, or if they’re already in the gutter, to some other out-of-the-way place. Oh, we have our reasons. They’re depressing, they wear ragged clothes, they’re crazy, they smell bad–” “Hey, listen man!” “Wait…I’m going somewhere with this.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/426 "2012-11-29T14:13:48Z")
I stand by my racial slur. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/427 "2012-11-29T14:25:41Z")
So you want a realistic down-to-earth show that’s completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/428 "2012-11-29T14:57:17Z")
I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/429 "2012-11-29T16:02:21Z")
Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/430 "2012-11-29T17:11:39Z")
By the way, Homer, what’s your least favorite country? Italy or France? France. Heh heh heh. Nobody ever says Italy… ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/431 "2012-11-29T18:05:59Z")
You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/432 "2012-11-29T19:17:29Z")
"You know, Marge, for the first time in our marriage I can finally look down my nose at you. Because YOU have a gambling problem! “That’s true. Will you forgive me?” “Oh, sure. Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well, that’s nothing, because YOU have a gambling problem! And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? Well YOU have a gambling problem!” “Homer, when you forgive someone, you can’t throw it back at them like that.” “Aw, what a gyp.” [They kiss] “Remember when I --” “Homer!” “Oh, yeah; I forgot already.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/433 "2012-11-29T21:32:31Z")
I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. ---
**Author:** ![JessMagic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c0e974/32.png) [@JessMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JessMagic)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/434 "2012-11-30T03:12:18Z")
There’s nary an animal alive can outrun a greased Scotsman. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/435 "2012-11-30T03:58:37Z")
Simpsons on a t-shirt? I never thought I’d see the day. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/436 "2012-11-30T07:33:38Z")
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/437 "2012-11-30T21:47:45Z")
You are so reticulated, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/438 "2012-11-30T22:15:54Z")
How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/439 "2012-12-01T11:52:45Z")
Why, there are no children here at the four-H club, either! Am I so out of touch? No…it’s the children who are wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/440 "2012-12-01T13:53:26Z")
Operator! Give me the number for 911! ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/441 "2012-12-05T20:42:02Z")
It’s in Revelations, people!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=23)