# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 24
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/462 "2014-06-18T00:10:55Z")
Young lady, that’s the most intelligent question I’ve ever been asked. Oh, I could give you an answer, but the only ones who’d understand it would be you and me… and that includes your teacher. Next question! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/463 "2014-06-20T01:32:12Z")
Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two non-consecutive occasions. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/464 "2014-06-20T03:17:43Z")
Come on, every President gets three secret murders. If you don’t use them by the end of the term, **fwwpt** they’re gone. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/465 "2014-06-20T03:18:36Z")
I didn’t think it was possible, but this both sucks _and_ blows. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/466 "2014-06-20T03:58:34Z")
That team sure sucked last night. They just plain sucked. I’ve seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked. Oh, I gotta go, my damn wiener kids are lookin’ at me. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/467 "2014-06-21T00:32:11Z")
I’ve been asked to tell you that the following show is very scary, with stuff that might give your kids nightmares. You see, there are some crybabies out there, religious types mostly, who might be offended. If you are one of them, I advise you to turn off your set now. Come on I dare you. Chicken! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/468 "2014-06-21T01:05:22Z")
He’s insulting both of us. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/469 "2014-06-21T02:23:34Z")
Marge, the doll’s trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/470 "2014-06-21T05:00:21Z")
Me fail English? That’s unpossible! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/471 "2014-06-21T05:19:06Z")
To pronounce my name correctly, I would have to pull out your tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/472 "2014-06-21T21:07:23Z")
Ooo, floor pie! ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/473 "2014-06-21T21:10:10Z")
My bubble, my rules. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2014, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/474 "2014-06-21T21:17:57Z")
Kiss my asphalt. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/475 "2014-06-22T02:58:45Z")
Milhouse, we’re living in the age of cooties. I can’t believe the risk you’re running. Besides, what’s so great about kissing? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/476 "2014-06-22T08:24:09Z")
You kissed a girl? That is so gay! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/477 "2014-06-22T13:54:24Z")
…six simple words, “I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/478 "2014-06-22T17:32:38Z")
_Homer (looking over DVDs at yard sale):_ Got any that aren’t gay porn? _Rainier Wolfcastle:_ Just what you see on the shelf. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/479 "2014-06-22T18:20:56Z")
That’s some outfit, Skoey. It makes you look like a homosexual. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/480 "2014-06-22T22:38:02Z")
I don’t wanna look like a weirdo. I’ll just go with a muumuu. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/481 "2014-06-22T23:01:42Z")
Dad, you cannot wear that. That’s a rastafarian hat! Wearing a Jamaican hat makes a bold statement about your connection to reggae music. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=23) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=25)