# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 33
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/642 "2014-08-07T15:40:54Z")
When I took your father’s name, I took everything that came with it, including DNA. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/643 "2014-08-07T17:28:52Z")
Your Honor, we find that Homer Simpson’s soul is legally the property of Marge Simpson and not of The Devil. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2014, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/644 "2014-08-07T22:32:43Z")
There is no such thing as a soul. It’s just something they make up to scare kids, like the Boogeyman or Michael Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2014, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/645 "2014-08-08T00:52:21Z")
Well, back in 1979, I got real depressed when my _Off the Wall_ album got just one lousy Grammy nomination. ---
**Author:** ![SBGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@SBGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SBGeek)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2014, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/646 "2014-08-08T01:02:59Z")
Eat my shorts. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2014, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/647 "2014-08-08T01:05:37Z")
So I said to him, “Look buddy, your car was upside-down when we got here. And as for your grandma, she shouldn’t have mouthed off like that.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2014, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/648 "2014-08-08T04:06:11Z")
Dear Advertisers: I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again. #1: Bra. #2: Horny. #3: Family Jewels. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/649 "2014-08-09T00:01:51Z")
Three wars back we called Sauerkraut “liberty cabbage” and we called liberty cabbage “super slaw” and back then a suitcase was known as a “Swedish lunchbox.” Of course, nobody knew that but me. Anyway, long story short… is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/650 "2014-08-09T01:46:03Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > Three wars back we called Sauerkraut “liberty cabbage” and we called liberty cabbage “super slaw” and back then a suitcase was known as a “Swedish lunchbox.” Of course, nobody knew that but me. Anyway, long story short… is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling. I’m learneding! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/651 "2014-08-09T03:16:29Z")
Me fail English? That’s unpossible. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/652 "2014-08-09T04:15:01Z")
Bart! I am _not_ going to learn ancient Hebrew! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/653 "2014-08-09T17:52:16Z")
Oh, Noah, Noah! Save us! Save us! No! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/654 "2014-08-09T17:55:45Z")
Uh, Dad? That’s his crotch. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/655 "2014-08-09T17:59:07Z")
I’m crazy as a crap-house rat for philanthropy. Hee-haw! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/656 "2014-08-09T19:13:22Z")
Hold on to your pitchforks everybody! It’s time again for **“YA-HOO!”** Starring, in alphabetical order: Yodelin’ Zeke! Butterball Jackson! Freddie Boy and Yuma! Cloris Moselle! Big Shirtless Ron! Orville and Hurley! Gappy Mae! Hip Diddler! Rudy! The Ya-Hoo Recovering Alcoholic Jug Band! And tonight, in her syndicated TV debut: Lurleen! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2014, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/657 "2014-08-09T20:29:02Z")
I spent last night in a ditch. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/658 "2014-08-10T04:44:04Z")
I’m a small man in some ways, Bart. A small, petty man. Three months’ detention. Make that… _four_ months’ detention. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/659 "2014-08-10T16:45:09Z")
When I grow up, I wanna be a principal or a caterpillar. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/660 "2014-08-10T17:49:55Z")
Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/661 "2014-08-10T23:24:41Z")
I’ll be back. You can’t keep the Democrats out of the White House forever. And when they get in, I’m back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=32) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=34)