# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 36
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/702 "2014-08-23T02:58:02Z")
I can’t get a straight answer out of this crazy hemisphere. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/703 "2014-08-23T03:29:12Z")
NINE HUNDRED DOLLARYDOOS? Tobias! Did you accept a six hour collect call from the ‘States?’ ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2014, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/704 "2014-08-23T18:18:19Z")
Hi, you’ve reached the Corey Hotline. $4.95 a minute. Here are some words that rhyme with Corey: gory… story… allegory… Montessori… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/705 "2014-08-24T03:12:15Z")
I’ve had just about enough of your Vassar-bashing, young lady! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/706 "2014-08-24T04:49:42Z")
Oh I am, am I? Is that what you think? Well if that’s what you think, I have something to tell you… something which may shock and discredit you… and that thing is as follows… _I’m not wearing a tie at all!_ ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/707 "2014-08-24T17:03:44Z")
You’ll have to speak up, I’m wearing a towel. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2014, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/708 "2014-08-24T23:45:49Z")
I have misplaced my pants. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2014, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/709 "2014-08-25T17:37:01Z")
Hey Bart, your epidermis is showing! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2014, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/710 "2014-08-25T23:32:06Z")
There’s nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/711 "2014-08-26T01:28:16Z")
Oh, sure, everything is bad if you _remember_ it. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/712 "2014-08-26T22:59:10Z")
We can’t bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m’shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say! Now, where were we? Oh yeah – the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn’t have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/713 "2014-08-28T22:34:02Z")
Hello Grampa, my old friend, Your busy day is at an end. Your exploits have been sad and boring, They tell a tale that’s worth ignoring. When you’re alone, the words of your story Will echo down the rest-home hall, 'Cause no one at all, Can stand the sound Of Grampa. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/714 "2014-08-28T23:10:48Z")
\*Who controls the British crown? Who keeps the metric system down? We do, we do! Who keeps Atlantis off the maps? Who keeps the Martians under wraps? We do, we do! Who holds back the electric car? Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do, we do! Who robs cavefish of their sight? Who rigs every Oscar night? We do! We do!!! \* ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/715 "2014-08-28T23:25:31Z")
_Ch-ch-ch-changes. Time to change the oil. Changes! Don’t wanna be an oily man._ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/716 "2014-08-29T00:33:06Z")
Okay, delegates, you leave tomorrow for the statewide Model U.N., so this is our last chance to bone up. And bone we will! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2014, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/717 "2014-08-29T23:26:36Z")
Great job Nibbles! Now chew through my ball-sack! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2014, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/718 "2014-08-30T01:39:12Z")
Mmmm…sugar walls. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2014, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/719 "2014-08-30T03:32:24Z")
You fool! That was a load-bearing candy cane! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/720 "2014-08-30T03:54:17Z")
Well, I’m from Utica and I never heard anyone use the phrase “steamed hams.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2014, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/721 "2014-08-30T05:46:12Z")
Springfield has moved up to #299 on the list of America’s most livable 300 cities. Take _that,_ East St. Louis! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=35) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=37)