# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 38
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/742 "2014-09-17T21:51:35Z")
_I’m trying to ease my stomach pains. I’m moving my legs so my stomach won’t hurt. I’m kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way._ ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2014, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/743 "2014-09-17T23:22:17Z")
I know I’m not normally a praying man, but if you’re up there: Please save me, Superman! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/744 "2014-09-22T02:07:08Z")
Somebody throw the goddamn bomb! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2014, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/745 "2014-09-22T03:34:27Z")
_“Best before November 1959.”_ Dammit, Bob! There were plenty of brand new bombs, but you had to go for that retro '50s charm! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/746 "2014-09-26T01:40:09Z")
Meh, they’ll be chewin’ on him for a while. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/747 "2014-09-26T01:57:51Z")
I want some peanuts. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/748 "2014-09-26T02:01:07Z")
Please do not offer my god a peanut. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/749 "2014-09-26T15:26:58Z")
OK, here’s how the process works. You sit on the broom and we shove you off the cliff… well, hear me out. If you’re innocent, you will fall to an honorable Christian death. If you are, however, the bride of Satan, you will surely fly your broom to safety. At that point you will report back here for torture and beheading. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/750 "2014-09-26T15:30:04Z")
So “if” we get “deadlocked”, we’ll be “sequestered” at the Springfield Palace Hotel. Where we’ll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool, free HBO. Ooh. _Free Willy_. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/751 "2014-09-26T21:53:53Z")
Letter sign in front of the church: “Today’s sermon: Evil Women in History – from Jezebel to Janet Reno” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2014, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/752 "2014-09-26T22:38:05Z")
What’s the point of going out? We’re just gonna wind up back here anyway. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/753 "2014-09-27T02:10:52Z")
I reached Step One: She knew I existed. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2014, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/754 "2014-09-27T22:31:59Z")
And if that doesn’t work, six simple words: “I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/755 "2014-09-27T23:55:31Z")
We work hard, and we play hard! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/756 "2014-09-28T00:17:43Z")
Dad, why’d you bring me to a gay steel mill? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/757 "2014-09-28T15:48:52Z")
What was _her_ problem? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/758 "2014-09-29T02:38:18Z")
Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known…then went crazy as a loon. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/759 "2014-10-01T16:33:50Z")
Well nobody out-crazies Ophelia. Hey, nonny nonny, with a hoo and a haw, and a nonny nonny hey! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/760 "2014-10-01T16:35:17Z")
He’s right. Give us hell, Qwimby! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/761 "2014-10-01T19:54:23Z")
Yeah, that’s hellfire all right. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=37) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=39)