# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 43
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2014, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/842 "2014-12-03T02:48:54Z")
How did the pig tracks get on the ceiling? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2014, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/843 "2014-12-07T05:56:53Z")
That’s not true! It’s just a rumor. You’re engaged in speculation. I know the law, you can’t prove anything. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2014, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/844 "2014-12-07T15:53:14Z")
Hey, you! Get out of my office! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2014, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/845 "2014-12-08T01:14:35Z")
They’ll play what I tell them to play…for I am the mayor of Albuquerque! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/846 "2014-12-08T20:43:55Z")
Have the Rolling Stones killed! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2014, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/847 "2014-12-08T23:23:39Z")
Holy cow! Homer just fell on Aerosmith! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2014, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/848 "2014-12-10T01:20:35Z")
Mrs. Krabappel, I really need my drumsticks. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/849 "2014-12-10T04:27:01Z")
And besides, if a woman really loves a man, she doesn’t care if an alligator bites off his face. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2014, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/850 "2014-12-10T18:21:49Z")
Wait a minute. Bart’s teacher is named Krabappel? I’ve been calling her Crandall. Why didn’t someone tell me? Oh, I’ve been making an idiot out of myself! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2014, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/851 "2014-12-10T23:19:23Z")
Well, kids, this is where you would watch Itchy & Scratchy, except they’re on the Gabbo Show now. So, here’s Eastern Europe’s favorite cat and mouse team: Worker and Parasite! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/852 "2014-12-11T01:32:21Z")
“Рабочий И Паразит” “Endut! Hoch Hech!” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/853 "2014-12-12T00:18:30Z")
Uh, hi, Mr. Meyers. I’ve been doing some thinking, and I’ve got some ideas to improve the show. I got it right here. One: Poochie needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine. Two: Whenever Poochie’s not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking, “Where’s Poochie?” Three… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/854 "2014-12-12T00:49:52Z")
Oh, no attitude, eh?! Not in your face, huh?! Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2014, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/855 "2014-12-12T23:16:21Z")
You always say that. I want to take a chance! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/856 "2014-12-13T05:02:53Z")
But we have notes! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/857 "2014-12-13T15:31:04Z")
Welcome to Bring Us Your Toilet Paper night. Don’t worry, none goes to Willie. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/858 "2014-12-13T23:42:30Z")
There’s nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2014, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/859 "2014-12-14T03:05:36Z")
I said “Make way for Willie,” ya bloated gas-bag. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/860 "2014-12-15T02:36:25Z")
I heard that guy’s ass has it own Congressman! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2014, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/861 "2014-12-15T02:52:38Z")
Why, my good man, you’re the fattest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been on safari. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=42) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=44)