# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 44
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/862 "2014-12-16T02:10:02Z")
Attention passengers, please prepare for our landing in Tanzania… I’m sorry. It is now called “New Zanzibar”… Excuse me. It is now called “Pepsi Presents New Zanzibar.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/863 "2014-12-16T02:53:45Z")
Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! Let me off! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/864 "2014-12-16T18:09:12Z")
Oh, the humanity! Anyway…to turn on the store’s “severe tire damage” spikes, here’s Little Miss Springfield. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/865 "2014-12-18T02:16:35Z")
Careful - that’s a load-bearing poster. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/866 "2014-12-18T02:28:38Z")
Mmmm…sugar walls. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/867 "2014-12-18T05:56:55Z")
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts. _Canyonero!_ ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/868 "2014-12-18T19:11:17Z")
Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/869 "2014-12-18T19:29:29Z")
Television! Teacher, mother…secret lover. Urge to kill… fading… fading… fading - rising! Fading… fading… gone. Come, family. Sit in the snow with daddy and let us all bask in TV’s warm glowing warming glow. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2014, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/870 "2014-12-19T05:36:47Z")
Ooh, I smell barbecue! Hey, look… **AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!** Oh, they’re out of hot dogs! And the coleslaw has pineapple in it! AAIIEEE!! German potato salad! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2014, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/871 "2014-12-21T17:47:34Z")
Oh, that’s nothing. He can hear pudding. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/872 "2014-12-22T04:02:07Z")
Willy hears ya. Willy don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2014, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/873 "2014-12-22T19:44:22Z")
No, no, go easy on the wee one. His father’s going to go crazy and chop 'em all into haggis! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/874 "2014-12-24T19:12:55Z")
So then his wife comes through the door! Did I mention that she was dead? Well, she was. And she hit him in the head with a golf club! Don’t you remember? He went golfing all the time and it really bugged her! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/875 "2014-12-24T19:42:19Z")
Hey, since when was Christmas just about the presents? Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of this day? The birth of Santa? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2014, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/876 "2014-12-26T21:15:45Z")
Hey, you want that once-a-year empty gesture, you got it, Sis. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/877 "2014-12-31T04:26:00Z")
“Dear friends of the Simpson family. We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First, the sadness: our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven. But we bought a new little cat Snowball II, so I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grandpa is still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A’s, and Bart… well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/878 "2014-12-31T18:58:28Z")
Uh, yeah…well, whenever you notice something like that, a wizard did it. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/879 "2014-12-31T19:54:05Z")
I’m not gonna lie to you, Marge. :: stares at her :: ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2015, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/880 "2015-01-02T04:33:15Z")
Since we have 15 minutes until recess, please put down your pencils and stare at the front of the room. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2015, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/881 "2015-01-03T02:11:20Z")
Hey, I found a short cut through your hedge maze. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=43) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=45)