# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 46
**Author:** ![CalBak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@CalBak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalBak)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/902 "2015-01-17T03:16:36Z")
Simpson, Homer Simpson, he’s the greatest guy in history. From the, town of Springfield, he’s about to hit a Chestnut tree. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/903 "2015-01-17T04:11:50Z")
Ch-ch-ch-changes! Time to change the oi-yul. Changes! Don’t wanna be an oily man. ---
**Author:** ![CalBak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@CalBak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalBak)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/904 "2015-01-17T04:42:04Z")
## **Lionel Lanley** : Ya know, a town with money is a little like the mule with a spinning wheel, no one knows how he got it and danged if he know how to use it. **Homer** :He he, mule. **Barny** :What about us brain-dead slobs? **Lionel** :You’ll be given cushy jobs ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/905 "2015-01-17T04:48:47Z")
Man, this is crazy. I hope I didn’t brain my damage. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/906 "2015-01-17T16:24:50Z")
Extended warranty? How can I lose? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2015, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/907 "2015-01-18T02:58:35Z")
Damnation! Find me some good players, _living_ players! Scour the professional ranks: the American League! The National League! The Negro League! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/908 "2015-01-18T03:19:58Z")
Where were you when I was straight? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2015, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/909 "2015-01-19T20:16:27Z")
And if that doesn’t work, six simple words: “I’m not gay, but I’ll learn.” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/910 "2015-01-20T00:36:02Z")
Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/911 "2015-01-20T00:42:58Z")
Oh man, I wish. Dumpster brand trash bins are top of the line! This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2015, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/912 "2015-01-20T02:29:45Z")
A shiny new donkey to the man who brings me the head of Homer Simpson! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2015, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/913 "2015-01-21T18:56:42Z")
Does anyone have change for a button? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/914 "2015-01-22T18:20:08Z")
No, you’ve got the wrong number; this is 9-1-2. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/915 "2015-01-22T21:04:55Z")
(I love how the Chief pauses just before saying the final number). I’ve seen circus chimps who drive faster than you do! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/916 "2015-01-22T21:19:43Z")
God, shmod! I want my monkey-man! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/917 "2015-01-24T01:37:38Z")
We interrupt this public affairs program to bring you…a football game! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2015, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/918 "2015-01-24T17:24:31Z")
Could this be the best day of my life? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/919 "2015-01-25T02:56:14Z")
You always say that. I want to take a chance! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2015, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/920 "2015-01-25T05:13:21Z")
Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2015, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/921 "2015-01-25T05:13:53Z")
Man built this. It’s a vehicle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=45) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=47)