# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 47
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2015, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/922 "2015-01-25T16:35:52Z")
Bogey’s air speed not sufficient for intercept. Suggest we get out and walk. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/923 "2015-01-27T01:18:50Z")
All right, boy. Time for the ultimate dare. I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger… and back… _naked_. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/924 "2015-01-27T03:00:12Z")
No jury in the world is going to convict a baby. Well, maybe Texas. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/925 "2015-01-27T05:29:23Z")
Yeah, that’s what they all say; they all say, “D’oh.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2015, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/926 "2015-01-27T17:22:54Z")
But Sir, every plant and tree will die! Owls will deafen us with incessant hooting! The town’s sundial will be useless! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/927 "2015-01-28T20:23:52Z")
If only we’d listened to that boy, instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven. Well, I’m going to avenge my grandfather. We’ll take on that greedy union, and we’ll get back our…Dental Plan. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/928 "2015-01-28T20:31:09Z")
We’re going out, Marge. If we don’t come back, avenge our deaths! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/929 "2015-01-30T00:39:58Z")
Aah! They’re dogs…and they’re playing poker! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/930 "2015-01-30T04:10:25Z")
Let me try a canine-human mind meld. It’s an incredibly rare psychic power possessed only by me and three other clerks at this store. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2015, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/931 "2015-01-30T15:05:04Z")
What’s Santa’s Little Helper doing to that dog? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/932 "2015-01-31T02:52:56Z")
I want to tell you about the most wonderful place in the world: doggie heaven. In doggie heaven, there are mountains of bones, and you can’t turn around without sniffing another dog’s butt! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/933 "2015-01-31T03:38:33Z")
You mean you gave away both your dogs? You know how I feel about giving. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/934 "2015-02-01T13:19:10Z")
Don’t eat nothin’ for a couple of days - I’m going to take you out for a steak the size of a toilet seat! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2015, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/935 "2015-02-01T16:44:41Z")
Yeah, I want to send her two dozen roses. And I want to put something nice on the card, like, um- - Uh, “Renee, my treasure-” Hey, shut up, or I’ll ram a stool down your throat! Uh, no. No, no. I don’t want that on the card. Well, let me hear how it sounds. Nah, nah, take it out. Take it out. And charge it to my Players Club card. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/936 "2015-02-02T03:23:25Z")
I know you can hear MY thoughts, boy. Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow… ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/937 "2015-02-02T04:38:56Z")
I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just remember, if I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/938 "2015-02-02T06:46:11Z")
All of us pull a few boners now and then, go off half-cocked, make asses of ourselves. I don’t want to be hard on you, but I wish you wouldn’t curse in front of my boys. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2015, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/939 "2015-02-02T21:59:12Z")
Thank you, Lord, for this bountiful…PENIS! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2015, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/940 "2015-02-03T06:04:01Z")
Dear God: we paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/941 "2015-02-04T01:47:18Z")
God, please give me one more chance to study, give me a snow day, or a power outage, or a teacher’s strike, anything, please! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=46) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=48)