# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 53
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2015, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1042 "2015-07-26T17:44:12Z")
They stick all the jerks in Tower One. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2015, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1043 "2015-07-27T07:14:27Z")
“Dear motorist, your vehicle is illegally parked in the borough of Manhattan. If you do not remedy this malparkage within 72 hours, your car will be thrown into the East River at your expense.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2015, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1044 "2015-07-27T13:33:37Z")
A shiny new donkey to the man who brings me the head of Homer Simpson! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2015, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1045 "2015-07-27T15:50:25Z")
“You have thirty minutes to move your car.” “You have ten minutes to move your car.” “Your car has been impounded.” “Your car has been crushed into a cube.” “You have thirty minutes to move your cube.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2015, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1046 "2015-07-28T08:09:52Z")
Well, it should be clear to even the most dimwitted individual - who holds and advanced degree in hypothetical topology - that Homer Simpson has stumbled into… _ **the Third Dimension!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2015, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1047 "2015-07-28T13:16:37Z")
I’ll wager 400 quatloos on the newcomer. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1048 "2015-07-30T00:02:22Z")
We just moved here from Phoenix. My dad owns a home security company. He came to Springfield because of its high crime rate and lackluster police force. All my friends are back in Phoenix and this town has a weird smell that you’re all probably used to… but I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1049 "2015-07-30T04:31:26Z")
Lisa needs braces! ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1050 "2015-07-30T20:03:31Z")
So long dental plan! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1051 "2015-07-30T22:42:25Z")
Lisa, her teeth are big and green. Lisa, she smells like gasoline. Lisa, ta-ra-ra Lisa. She is my sista, her birthday I mista. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1052 "2015-07-31T15:32:26Z")
Leonard Nimoy: Wherever there is mystery and the unexplained, cosmic forces shall draw me near. Hot Dog Vendor: Hey Spock, what do you want on your hot dog? Leonard Nimoy: Surprise me! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1053 "2015-08-01T04:04:51Z")
Does anyone want to switch seats? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2015, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1054 "2015-08-02T00:02:58Z")
Of course I’m Batman. See, here’s a picture of me with Robin. Oh…I guess you’re only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer? Ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn’t need molded plastic to improve my physique – Pure. West. And how come Batman doesn’t dance anymore? Remember the Batusi? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2015, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1055 "2015-08-02T16:25:23Z")
Who the hell is Robin? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1056 "2015-08-03T16:46:14Z")
Hello, Mr. Chipmunk. You’re a northern reticulated chipmunk. Yes, you are. You are so reticulated! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1057 "2015-08-03T19:02:12Z")
Zzzz…Hot cakes…Zzzz…football…Zzzz…boobies. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1058 "2015-08-09T21:43:06Z")
I’m very proud of you people. You’ve learned how to care for your children, how to maintain your homes and you’ve all passed the drug test. Except for Marge – Marge, you tested positive for crack and PCP. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1059 "2015-08-13T02:33:22Z")
“Is it wacky tabacky?” “The Wackyest.” ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1060 "2015-08-13T22:22:04Z")
Bart, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family? For a large starving family is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread? And what if your family don’t like bread? They like cigarettes. Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2015, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1061 "2015-08-13T23:04:46Z")
Those fingers in my hair That sly come-hither stare That strips my conscience bare It’s witchcraft [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=52) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=54)