# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 54
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1062 "2015-08-14T00:16:58Z")
“Take this object. But beware – it carries a terrible curse.” “Ooh, that’s bad.” “But it comes with a free frogurt!” “That’s good!” “The frogurt is also cursed.” “That’s bad.” “But you get your choice of topping!” “That’s good!” “The toppings contain potassium benzoate.” _[blank stare]_ “That’s bad.” “Can I go now?” ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1063 "2015-08-14T00:31:22Z")
You’ll be sorry! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1064 "2015-08-15T02:00:52Z")
I just want attention. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1065 "2015-08-16T05:26:14Z")
Right, don’t eat nothin’ for the next three days, 'cause I’m taking you out for a steak the size of a toilet seat! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2015, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1066 "2015-08-18T03:19:31Z")
No, Homer – don’t fill up on bread! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1067 "2015-08-19T23:30:04Z")
…do these sound like the actions of a man who’s had ALL he could eat? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1068 "2015-08-20T02:26:32Z")
The thing is, I lost creative control of the project. And I forgot to ask for any money. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2015, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1069 "2015-08-24T03:39:55Z")
Do you even _have_ a job anymore? ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2015, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1070 "2015-08-24T11:03:24Z")
You know, I’ve had a lot of jobs: boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary – but protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of all. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2015, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1071 "2015-08-24T15:00:31Z")
I’m here to win back Brandine. She’s been making eyes at the photographer that done come to document our squalor. ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1072 "2015-08-27T16:06:51Z")
I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1073 "2015-08-27T16:12:58Z")
I LOVE YOU, Dr. ZAIUS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1074 "2015-08-27T18:49:59Z")
Five-day waiting period? But I’m mad NOW! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2015, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1075 "2015-08-29T21:26:05Z")
I fell 8,000 feet onto a pile of jagged rocks. Of course, folks were tougher in those days. I was jitterbugging that very night! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1076 "2015-08-30T04:16:09Z")
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts - Canyonero! ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1077 "2015-08-30T05:38:30Z")
Oh, I’ve wasted my life! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1078 "2015-08-30T19:22:49Z")
I’m not gonna lie to you, Marge. :: stares at her meaningfully :: ---
**Author:** ![Clarisse17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Clarisse17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clarisse17)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1079 "2015-08-31T04:50:15Z")
:smack: Less artsy more fartsy ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1080 "2015-08-31T15:52:16Z")
The blues isn’t about feeling better, it’s about making other people feel worse! And making a few bucks while you’re at it. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/1081 "2015-09-01T02:17:21Z")
Simpson, eh…? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=53) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=55)