# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/121 "2012-08-24T13:15:05Z")
Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who’s been screwing with this thing? ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/122 "2012-08-24T17:46:24Z")
I said I’m human, not a girl. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/123 "2012-08-24T17:47:16Z")
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/124 "2012-08-24T18:01:58Z")
(tune of the Batman theme song) Na na na na na na na na leader! ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2012, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/125 "2012-08-24T18:18:43Z")
I predict that within 100 years computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings in Europe will own them. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/126 "2012-08-25T03:35:08Z")
I don’t appologize, Lisa. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/127 "2012-08-25T03:44:08Z")
Your toys are fun to touch. Mine are all sticky. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/128 "2012-08-26T22:05:06Z")
You don’t win friends with sa-LAD! You don’t win friends with sa-LAD! ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/129 "2012-08-27T09:31:26Z")
Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn’t brutally slaughtered? Homer: Well, I think the veal might have died of loneliness. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/130 "2012-08-27T13:18:19Z")
Freedom. Horrible, horrible freedom. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/131 "2012-08-27T15:01:51Z")
“Come to Homer’s B.B.B.Q. The extra B is for B.Y.O.B.B.” ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/132 "2012-08-27T16:44:23Z")
Here’s a toast to the host who can boast the most roast. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/133 "2012-08-27T16:45:58Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > “Come to Homer’s B.B.B.Q. The extra B is for B.Y.O.B.B.” “What’s that last B for?” “Oh, that’s a typo.” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/134 "2012-08-27T16:55:42Z")
You know, Smithers, I think I’ll donate a million dollars to the local orphanage. When pigs fly! ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/135 "2012-08-27T16:59:05Z")
Call 1-600-DOCTORB. The “B” is for “Bargain”! ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/136 "2012-08-27T17:57:40Z")
But don’t go reading my mind between 3 and 4. That’s Willy’s time! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/137 "2012-08-27T18:38:21Z")
To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/138 "2012-08-27T20:38:36Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > Call 1-600-DOCTORB. The “B” is for “Bargain”! “But your ad said _WORKS ON CONTINGENCY / NO MONEY DOWN_”! “Oh, they left out all the punctuation. _(scribbles)_ It’s supposed to read: _WORKS ON CONTINGENCY_\*?\*\* / NO\*\*,\*\* MONEY DOWN\*\*!\*\*\*” ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/139 "2012-08-28T06:03:50Z")
You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, ‘Homer, you’re a big disappointment’, and God bless her soul, she was really on to something! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/140 "2012-08-28T06:39:36Z")
Oh Abe, you’ve aged terribly! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=8)