# Speak to me only in Simpsons Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Thread Games\ **Created:** [August 17, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819 "2012-08-17T21:16:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/161 "2012-08-31T18:28:48Z")
Ahhh Wolfie, don’t feel bad for losin’. I been wrestlin’ wolves since you were at your mother’s teat. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/162 "2012-08-31T18:33:19Z")
The government calls it the “army”, but a more alarmist name would be – “ **The Killbot Factory**.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/163 "2012-08-31T19:29:24Z")
But for that solution to work you’d have to ignore all the Simpson DNA evidence. And that would be downright nutty. ---
**Author:** ![Engineer\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9fc29f/32.png) [@Engineer\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Engineer_Dude)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/164 "2012-08-31T19:33:45Z")
I’ve learned that life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/165 "2012-08-31T19:40:09Z")
Homer: “Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.” Postal Worker: “What’s your first name, Mr Burns?” Homer: “I…don’t know.” **flees** Homer to Billy Corgan (of the Smashing Pumpkins): “Thanks to your gloomy, depressing music, my children no longer hope for the future I can not afford to give them.” Corgan: “Yeah, we try to make a difference.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/166 "2012-08-31T19:51:31Z")
Astronaut: There’s no air in space. Homer: There’s an air ‘n’ space museum. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/167 "2012-08-31T21:01:36Z")
> [@hogarth](#): > > The government calls it the “army”, but a more alarmist name would be – “ **The Killbot Factory**.” The wars of the future will not be fought on the battlefield or at sea. They will be fought in space, or possibly on top of a very tall mountain. In either case, most of the actual fighting will be done by small robots. And as you go forth today, remember always your duty is clear: To build and maintain those robots. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/168 "2012-08-31T21:12:14Z")
**Selma** : C’mon, Homer! You can’t spell “obsequious” without I-O-U! **Homer** : …I’ll have to trust you on that. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/169 "2012-08-31T21:14:29Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Astronaut: There’s no air in space. > Homer: There’s an air ‘n’ space museum. Nitpick: Actually is was the prison warden, who said your astronaughts line, when Marge was teaching art at a prison and one guy was really good at painting and painted a unicorn flying through space and the warden criticized it by saying your quote. Homer: Lingo dead? Lingo: Lingo IS dead. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/170 "2012-09-03T16:11:43Z")
Dough-nuts? I told you, I don’t like ethnic foods! ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/171 "2012-09-03T21:17:51Z")
Don’t feed your sister hotels! ---
**Author:** ![Noggy\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@Noggy\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noggy_Monster)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/172 "2012-09-04T00:12:14Z")
Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of great apes rose up at me but BIFF, BAM, I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me, and that’s when I got mad… Now that’s religion! ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/173 "2012-09-05T05:49:04Z")
Gentlemen…to evil! ---
**Author:** ![Noggy\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/97f17d/32.png) [@Noggy\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noggy_Monster)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/174 "2012-09-05T06:47:32Z")
But sir, every plant and tree will die. Owls will deafen us with incessant hooting. The town’s sundial will be useless! ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/175 "2012-09-05T13:28:15Z")
People die all the time, just like that! Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/176 "2012-09-05T13:48:37Z")
Homer: Moe, I need your advice. Moe: Yeah? Homer: You see, I have this friend called Joey Joe Joe…Junior…Shabadoo. Moe: That’s the worst name I ever heard. [a man in the bar leaves crying] Barney: Hey, Joey Joe Joe! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/177 "2012-09-05T15:57:25Z")
Hello. My name is Guy Icognito. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/178 "2012-09-05T16:58:25Z")
I’m a Level 5 vegan: I don’t eat anything that casts a shadow. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/179 "2012-09-05T17:39:34Z")
They’ll never know the simple joys of a monkey knife fight. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819/180 "2012-09-05T17:43:48Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > I’m a Level 5 vegan: I don’t eat anything that casts a shadow. You mean you don’t pocket-mulch? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speak-to-me-only-in-simpsons-quotes/631819.md?page=10)