# Special needs student can't wear varsity letter jacket. **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 28, 2015, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170 "2015-03-28T00:55:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2015, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/161 "2015-03-29T23:42:56Z")
> [@Stratocaster](#): > > I agree with that. If that was my kid, I would have made someone explain to me why this was their policy and would have lobbied to change it if the explanation was arbitrary. I was responding to the notion that the kid shouldn’t get a “feel good” letter because he didn’t earn it. From I’ve read, the only reason it isn’t worthy of a letter is that the school has decreed it so. Other schools with the same circumstances have decided otherwise. > > He’s not asking to be awarded an A because he tried so hard. His mom (and I) think that a kid who is committed and fully participating in a challenging (for him) activity shouldn’t miss out on the letter “because it is not a varsity level competition.” For that kid, it is a varsity level competition in every meaningful sense of the word–it requires commitment, competition, lots of work, school spirit, etc. IMO, the school should be proud to have him wear the letter. It demonstrates their support of what is best about student athletics. That’s also why the non-special ed kid who road the bench all year, but made every practice and worked his ass off, still deserves a letter. He could have spent his Friday nights watching television, but he committed himself to something more constructive. So did this kid. As I said previously, it doesn’t appear to me that he wants a letter for taking the trash out. This type of thought will cheapen any award. Sure, twenty plus years later, I realize it was silly to think that varsity letters mean much of anything, but I could say that about almost any award given by an organization. It’s a subjective judgment whether Award X is a good, bad or indifferent thing, but whatever it is, it should mean it is as advertised, or else there is no reason for giving the award in the first place. If making every practice and working your ass off deserves the same award as whatever the previously determined higher standards are, then what is the point of having higher standards? Bottom line is that showing up for practice and working hard are simply insufficient for receiving a varsity letter the same as doing those two things will not earn me an NBA MVP for playing basketball at the city park today. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/162 "2015-03-30T00:16:05Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > If making every practice and working your ass off deserves the same award as whatever the previously determined higher standards are, then what is the point of having higher standards? Bottom line is that showing up for practice and working hard are simply insufficient for receiving a varsity letter the same as doing those two things will not earn me an NBA MVP for playing basketball at the city park today. Once again, there are several pertinent questions here. The question of whether the school should grant varsity letters for participation is only one of the questions, and is the least interesting one–I’m not sure anyone is saying that’s what should happen. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/163 "2015-03-30T01:21:44Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > Checking out the video again, it says that when the school “recogized him for his participation” Mom bought him the letter. So they probably did give him some token, just not the same token as the varsity players. So is it a different style then? If that’s the case, THEN the school is perhaps over reacting. Honestly, I think some people here insisting on giving the kid the letter sound incredibly patronizing. “Let the special ed kid wear the letter, he has a disability, and really, it’s no skin off our asses!!! We’ll be so generous, won’t we?” It’s so condescending and really offensive. If you really respect the kid, don’t patronize him, and lie to him. That’s an insult. Treat him like a person, not a pet. > [@doreen](#): > > While I was trying to find out exactly which activities the school in question has (wasn’t able to) , I found [this](http://www.kansascity.com/sports/high-school/article16660988.html) According to the principal, the incident happened a over a year ago, the kid was not told to remove the jacket and perhaps most importantly: > So it seems she doesn’t want simply recognition for her son- the special needs athletes get a letter. She wants the him to have the same symbol as the varsity athletes- even though the other letter-earning activities earn letters that look different from the varsity letters. I suggested that as an alternative earlier in the thread, and if they do indeed do that, then what the fuck is her deal? Isn’t she basically saying, to the other students in his program, “MY son is better than you other retards!” Like I said earlier, you don’t award the Lombardi Trophy to a college football team, no matter how hard they worked, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/164 "2015-03-30T01:24:43Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Honestly, I think some people here insisting on giving the kid the letter sound incredibly patronizing. “Let the special ed kid wear the letter, he has a disability, and really, it’s no skin off our asses!!! We’ll be so generous, won’t we?” It’s so condescending and really offensive. If you really respect the kid, don’t patronize him, and lie to him. That’s an insult. Treat him like a person, not a pet. That’s nice that you think that, but you’ve given no reason for thinking that. I don’t think it’s generous to let him wear the letter; I think it’s absurd to object to his wearing the letter. The question of whether he _should_ wear it is a different question entirely, and one I feel less sure about. That question should be answered entirely based on his own wellbeing, since nobody else’s wellbeing is involved. What harm is going to come to him if he wears it? What benefit will accrue to him if he wears it? It’s pretty fuckin obnoxious to suggest that this sort of calculus is treating him like a pet, and you have no basis for making that claim. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/165 "2015-03-30T01:35:15Z")
> [@clairobscur](#): > > For the benefit of non-American readers, what is : > > -A letter jacket? > > -A varsity team? The varsity team question has been adequately answered. The letter jacket quested has been answered as well, but I just want to point out that if you have seen any American movie set in a high school, it’s likely you have seen at least one person wearing a school jacket in school colors (that any student at school can purchase) bearing a “letter” (usually, the first initial of the school), which is traditionally awarded as an honor for an accomplishment. Stereotypically, these jackets are worn by high school athletes. Here’s Emilio Estevez in _The Breakfast Club_ wearing such a jacket with letter — — [http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/bcgif24.gif](http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/bcgif24.gif) — [http://cdn1.bigcommerce.com/n-ou1isn/ydriczk/products/45007/images/44875/ss319085\_-\_emilio\_estevez\_as\_andrew\_andy\_clark\_anthony\_m\_hall\_as\_brian\_ralph\_johnson\_judd\_nelson\_as\_john\_bender\_molly\_ringwald\_as\_claire\_standish\_ally\_sheedy\_as\_allison\_reynol\_\_17836\_\_22933.1404451399.190.250.jpg?c=2](http://cdn1.bigcommerce.com/n-ou1isn/ydriczk/products/45007/images/44875/ss319085_-_emilio_estevez_as_andrew_andy_clark_anthony_m_hall_as_brian_ralph_johnson_judd_nelson_as_john_bender_molly_ringwald_as_claire_standish_ally_sheedy_as_allison_reynol __17836__ 22933.1404451399.190.250.jpg?c=2) — [http://i.ytimg.com/vi/otFf95L7\_K4/hqdefault.jpg](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/otFf95L7_K4/hqdefault.jpg) As an aside, high schools generally do not create these kinds of things themselves. When I was in school, they purchased letters, pins, awards, medals, badges, etc., from a local merchant, and any member of the public could walk into the shop and purchase the same things. Some schools “awarded” jackets and letters; some have only a paper certificate and it was up to the student to go to the store and purchase the jacket and/or letter on his or her own. At my school, the school gave you the letter, but you had to purchase the jacket and have it sewn on yourself. > [@RTFirefly](#): > > What I would ask is whether teams representing the school in non-academic competitions (chess teams, debate teams, etc.) get letters. Especially in this day and age, athletic competitions shouldn’t be privileged over intellectual competitions. If anything, it should be the other way around. When I was in school in the 1980s, letters were also awarded to activities other than sports, such as band and orchestra. > [@Scumpup](#): > > What do you think of a student who has not been amitted to NHS wearing a membership pin? What _I think_ of such a student is a completely different question from whether the school should _force him to stop wearing_ such a pin. Yes, is a violation of a social norm, but it’s the kind of violation that should not be in the hands of an authoritative institution to do anything about. > [@](#): > > I’m just not big at all on people falsely presenting themselves as having earned honors or falsely claiming membership in organizations of which they are not a part. Such people are plainly and simply liars. We should not be teaching kids, special needs or otherwise, to lie about their accomplishments. I have no problem with how you feel about this going on. What I disagree with is giving some institution the authority to enforce a solution. There are other ways to make clear what the social norms are. In other words, this: > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > 1. Should the school award varsity letters to anyone who wants one? I don’t have a strong opinion on that, but to the extent that I have any opinion, I think that’s not a great idea. > 2. Should the school sanction someone who wears a varsity letter they didn’t personally earn? I think that’s a terrible idea. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/166 "2015-03-30T01:37:00Z")
Why shouldn’t he? Because, specifically, the letter is restricted to varsity players. Does it sound petty? Perhaps. But when you’re in high school, those things matter to a lot of kids. And it’s not fair to those who worked hard for that award, in that group. He’s not on a varsity team. Doesn’t mean he didn’t work hard. And I ask you, should they now let the JV kids have the letter as well? Why not? As for will it hurt his well-being, well, does he understand the point of the letter? Does he then get the idea that he somehow DID earn it? If so, that’s kind of shitty letting him think so. Or if he knows and just likes the letter itself, then perhaps he needs to learn hey, sometimes there ARE somethings restricted to certain groups. I can’t wear an Olympic gold medal, or a Stanley Cup ring I didn’t win. I can borrow them from someone who did earn them, but I can’t claim them as my own. Teaching him, “well, you didn’t really earn it, but we’ll let you have it anyway,” – it’s basically telling him he can have what he want, if he or his mother throw a big enough fit. THAT’S not cool either. Second, it seems there IS a letter for the section he plays in. So why can’t he wear the one he’s actually earned? Is it somehow inferior? ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/167 "2015-03-30T01:40:44Z")
First of all, I think the title of this thread is a bit deceptive. I thought it was referring to the wearing of the jacket, not the letter on the jacket. Back in my day, anyone could go to the local sporting goods store and pick up the official school jacket. You could even get patches with your graduation year and your name embroidered on it. I don’t know what exactly one had to do to get a school letter, but athletes and the band got them. There were brass colored badges pinned on the letter to indicate what you got the letter for. I guess mom, in this instance, was wrong to give the kid a letter to wear on his jacket. Unless it’s appearance was definitely different from that of the official school awarded letter. But the school could have just told the kid to take the jacket off, or to just take the letter off the jacket. ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/168 "2015-03-30T01:42:14Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > The symbol never held any value except what the giver and receive put in it. Symbols have no intrinsic value. Why would I put less value in a symbol just because someone else got it through a different avenue than the one I got it through? This isn’t me being iconoclastic; this is me genuinely not seeing how that would work, absent weird superstition about symbols. If I show up to the 2015 Dungeons and Dragons Championship Series wearing my D&D 2014 Championship medal (that I bought online and didn’t earn) then you might rightly be upset with me if you had actually competed and won that medal on your own. Not only it is phony and stupid, it sets me up for immense ridicule from everyone else. This is exactly what you are doing to this young individual by parading him in a letter jacket with a phony Varsity team letter. People _do_ value symbols. Thus why we salute the flag and not a knife & fork. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/169 "2015-03-30T01:46:51Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > This type of thought will cheapen any award. Sure, twenty plus years later, I realize it was silly to think that varsity letters mean much of anything, but I could say that about almost any award given by an organization. It’s a subjective judgment whether Award X is a good, bad or indifferent thing, but whatever it is, it should mean it is as advertised, or else there is no reason for giving the award in the first place. > > If making every practice and working your ass off deserves the same award as whatever the previously determined higher standards are, then what is the point of having higher standards? Bottom line is that showing up for practice and working hard are simply insufficient for receiving a varsity letter the same as doing those two things will not earn me an NBA MVP for playing basketball at the city park today. So the Varsity player who rode the bench should give his letter back? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/170 "2015-03-30T01:52:44Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > As for will it hurt his well-being, well, does he understand the point of the letter? Does he then get the idea that he somehow DID earn it? If so, that’s kind of shitty letting him think so. Why? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/171 "2015-03-30T01:55:06Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > If I show up to the 2015 Dungeons and Dragons Championship Series wearing my D&D 2014 Championship medal (that I bought online and didn’t earn) then you might rightly be upset with me if you had actually competed and won that medal on your own. Serious question, Stringbean: do you have Down’s Syndrome? Are you autistic? Because if you are, there’s no goddamned way I’m going to be upset with you for wearing that (in your hypothetical world where such a thing exists, natch). I’d be a giant douchebag to get upset at you for it. If you’re a neurotypical dude wearing it, then I’ll respond to your speech appropriately: I’ll roll my eyes and make a snarky comment, _and move on with my life_. It won’t begin to occur to me to think that your actions weaken my accomplishments. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/172 "2015-03-30T01:58:34Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Serious question, Stringbean: do you have Down’s Syndrome? Are you autistic? > > Because if you are, there’s no goddamned way I’m going to be upset with you for wearing that (in your hypothetical world where such a thing exists, natch). I’d be a giant douchebag to get upset at you for it. > > If you’re a neurotypical dude wearing it, then I’ll respond to your speech appropriately: I’ll roll my eyes and make a snarky comment, _and move on with my life_. It won’t begin to occur to me to think that your actions weaken my accomplishments. … and nor that you should be able to get someone to force him to take it off. (Is what I would add.) ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/173 "2015-03-30T02:04:55Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > The symbol never held any value except what the giver and receive put in it. Symbols have no intrinsic value. Why would I put less value in a symbol just because someone else got it through a different avenue than the one I got it through? This isn’t me being iconoclastic; this is me genuinely not seeing how that would work, absent weird superstition about symbols. See this really enforces my blinded by iconoclasticity (?). Who the hell cares whether the value is "intrinsic " or not? It has some value given to it by the community. When people ignore that or purposely push for it to mean something else, that value changes. You can’t just put your head in the sand and say that value is meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/174 "2015-03-30T02:07:01Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Why? Because it’s a lie? You think it’s okay lying to a kid, and letting him think he got something he didn’t earn? Why do you think so? Is it because he has Downs Syndrome? ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/175 "2015-03-30T02:11:24Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Because it’s a lie? You think it’s okay lying to a kid, and letting him think he got something he didn’t earn? Why do you think so? Is it because he has Downs Syndrome? Yeah, actually, part of it is because he has Downs Syndrome, which makes it difficult for someone to understand things in the psychologically complex way others of their age can do. You still haven’t explained what harm it does him to wear the jacket. Does it cause physical or psychological harm? Let’s start there–and please don’t say that “it gets him to believe something untrue” as a sort of harm, since that’s no sort of harm at all. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/176 "2015-03-30T02:12:59Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > See this really enforces my blinded by iconoclasticity (?). Who the hell cares whether the value is "intrinsic " or not? It has some value given to it by the community. When people ignore that or purposely push for it to mean something else, that value changes. You can’t just put your head in the sand and say that value is meaningless. My head isn’t in the sand. What you’re saying is orthogonal to my point. The value of a symbol that an individual feels is the value that individual puts toward it. And if the community respects my letter less because a kid with Downs syndrome puts on a similar letter without going through the same thing as I went through, the community is made up of douchebags. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/177 "2015-03-30T02:22:59Z")
The people won’t appreciate it less because someone who has Downs is wearing it – they’ll respect it less because they’ll let just anyone wear it, if they complain loud enough. Rather than actually _earning_ something. Yes, he worked hard. But he didn’t earn a varsity letter. He earned a letter, but not this one. > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Yeah, actually, part of it is because he has Downs Syndrome, which makes it difficult for someone to understand things in the psychologically complex way others of their age can do. You still haven’t explained what harm it does him to wear the jacket. Does it cause physical or psychological harm? Let’s start there–and please don’t say that “it gets him to believe something untrue” as a sort of harm, since that’s no sort of harm at all. I already explained it to you. What happens when he graduates, and realizes that you can’t just be handed something to you if you didn’t earn it. He wants some other award, or whatever, and he can’t understand WHY, because he worked super ultra hard, he can’t have it? “But I WANT IT!!!” Mommy can’t sue everyone. And giving him a special pass because he has Downs – like I said, that’s patronizing as hell. Besides, they HAVE a letter for the league he participates in – why is that good enough? Because he wants something else? When I was a kid, I wanted a pony. I never got it. That’s LIFE. The Stones said it [best](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S94ohyErSw). If you don’t understand that, I can’t explain it to you. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/178 "2015-03-30T02:26:47Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I already explained it to you. What happens when he graduates, and realizes that you can’t just be handed something to you if you didn’t earn it. He wants some other award, or whatever, and he can’t understand WHY, because he worked super ultra hard, he can’t have it? “But I WANT IT!!!” Mommy can’t sue everyone. This is absurd. You’re thinking he’s going to draw some sort of conclusion from this that I don’t think he has the capacity to draw. > [@](#): > > And giving him a special pass because he has Downs – like I said, that’s patronizing as hell. No it’s not. I don’t think you know what patronizing means. It’s only possible to be patronizing if you’re feeling smugly superior to someone. I’m not smugly superior to this kid: in one very specific sense, I **am** superior to him. I’m able to reason about things and to understand social subtleties in a manner that he’ll never be able to do. I can’t possibly patronize him about such matters. I understand just fine what you’re suggesting, by the way–I just think it’s a transparent and ridiculous attempt to turn the tables by suggesting that the REAL meanies are the people that just want to let him wear the fuckin jacket already. Nice try, but fail. ---
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/179 "2015-03-30T02:27:12Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > First of all, I think the title of this thread is a bit deceptive. I thought it was referring to the wearing of the jacket, not the letter on the jacket. According to the mother, he was made to take his varsity letter jacket off. I don’t see any deception and certainly didn’t mean to deceive anyone. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Joker\_and\_the\_Thief](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e79b87/32.png) [@The\_Joker\_and\_the\_Thief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Joker_and_the_Thief)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2015, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170/180 "2015-03-30T02:48:34Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Yeah, actually, part of it is because he has Downs Syndrome, which makes it difficult for someone to understand things in the psychologically complex way others of their age can do. You still haven’t explained what harm it does him to wear the jacket. Does it cause physical or psychological harm? Let’s start there–and please don’t say that “it gets him to believe something untrue” as a sort of harm, since that’s no sort of harm at all. At some point, everyone has to learn that the world is unfair and that they can’t get what they want. There’s no point trying to shield intellectually disabled individuals from this fact. Allowing the student to wear the jacket perpetuates a state of blissful ignorance that will result in a worse fall to reality sometime in the future and harms the student by dissociating him with the real world. It also harms the other students by reducing the value of their status symbol, diminishing the students’ perceived social standing by their peers. ETA: The feeling of sadness resulting from desires that cannot be fulfilled is a fairly universal emotion. The student in question may not be able to articulate or understand his emotions, but you are doing him a disservice by believing that he is incapable of feeling sadness and joy, or that he would be unable to be acclimated to the regular disappointments that comprise life. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-needs-student-cant-wear-varsity-letter-jacket/716170.md?page=10)