# Special things your parents taught you **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2015, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680 "2015-02-14T23:36:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/21 "2015-02-15T13:50:41Z")
Both of my parents were artists. I remember when my mother took me to the art museum, held me up to eye level, and explained how painters created certain effects and textures; how they shaped noses; how they made something look wet; how they accentuated distances and foreshortened. My father taught me to have low self-esteem and “never amount to anything.” ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/22 "2015-02-15T14:09:26Z")
My mother taught me two lessons about marriage that have stood me in good stead for nearly 51 years: Marriage is not a reform school (do not expect to change anything about your spouse you cannot stand). The most important person in your life is your spouse, not your children, not your parents. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/23 "2015-02-15T16:01:28Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Organization, priorities, work ethic and _value._ > > My old man taught me to _think._ > > I’m still workin’ on it! 😉 That sums it up very well. Hats off to both our Dads. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/24 "2015-02-15T17:18:01Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > and how to always leave a small corner for making your own liquor. Now those are some great parents. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/25 "2015-02-15T17:24:41Z")
> [@Octarine](#): > > Both my parents were librarians, and taught me the value of the Dewey Decimal system. Oh, and reading. 😉 _“Don’t you know the Dewey Decimal systerm?”_ [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/XHbdoO7uCkk/maxresdefault.jpg "UHF (9/12) Movie CLIP - Conan the Librarian (1989) HD") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHbdoO7uCkk) ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/26 "2015-02-15T18:48:17Z")
How to identify and appreciate a good piece of pie. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/27 "2015-02-15T19:50:49Z")
My mother taught me a few words in Chimp, if that counts? ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/28 "2015-02-15T19:54:15Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > How to identify and appreciate a good piece of pie. And it has a specific gravity of 3.1416 and a specific heat of .31416. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/29 "2015-02-15T21:31:56Z")
Dad: Your word is your bond, Be consistent, Treat all people with respect until… Having the first, prettiest, largest, etc., is not what happiness is. Their is no such thing as a fair fight. All things gun, safety, hunting, deciding if it is worth killing over, etc… And more. Mom: Love of child, Make a bed, sweep floors, mop, wash dishes & clothes etc… That people can really surprise you. ( When her Mother, Grandma W was a young woman, she could hit a running jack rabbit while riding side saddle on a horse at full gallop with a Colt .45 with 99% success. ) Changing diapers, baby sitting, how to read aloud and the need for it. And much more. It was funny, the ARMY only taught me two things. Marching. I was never in a high school band or some such. It also taught me about different kinds of people and that ‘manny’ more were more treacherous than I had thought before. Both parents: That no one is a special snowflake, Bad things were not just going to happen to bad people, That life is not fair. 🆒 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/30 "2015-02-15T21:50:48Z")
My mother taught me to always read \*everything \* I sign. I also learned from her how to imitate her voice and drive my siblings wild with rage and laughter. And always order dessert. My dad taught me how to use mulch-syallabic words when swearing, and never do it around my mother. He taught me not to buy a car at night, and to keep my mouth shut. He taught me about duct tape and cheap epoxy. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/31 "2015-02-15T22:38:48Z")
What are mulch-syllabic words? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/32 "2015-02-16T00:37:54Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > And it has a specific gravity of 3.1416 and a specific heat of .31416. 😃 But that’s \*whole \*pie. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/33 "2015-02-16T02:15:31Z")
My Real Father (adoptive, not biological) taught me that, me being a girl, yes I did have to wipe even if I only peed. (Me on the toilet as he shaved, and I asked him.) Killed in a car wreck when I was 4 1/2. (Ironic since he stock car raced for fun, being a rum runner and bootlegger.) Daddy (my step-father) taught me fear and pain, but also a work ethic that still brings me satisfaction. And, weirdly, affection. He knew how much I liked to read but sometimes around 2-3am he’d come turn off my ceiling light, then linger in the doorway singing “Irene, Goodnight.” The only person I remember tucking me in. Too tightly, quilt to my chin, mummified down my sides. I never let him know the times I was awake and felt it. My mother (adoptive) taught me to hate myself. But she was funny and talented. It always made me wish… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/34 "2015-02-16T03:21:37Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > What are mulch-syllabic words? 😕 When you bang your thumb with a hammer, you will shout words that when mistyped, are not, “multi-syllabic” but mulch-syllabic. Typos are confusing. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/35 "2015-02-16T06:54:16Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > When you bang your thumb with a hammer, you will shout words that when mistyped, are not, “multi-syllabic” but mulch-syllabic. Typos are confusing. According to Ripley, the world’s longest cuss word is: HIMMELHERRGOTTKREUZMILLIONENDONNERWETTER! ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/36 "2015-02-17T00:44:54Z")
If you’re in a restaurant, and an argument between a couple results in a man hitting his wife, _get hold of the wife._ if you restrain the husband, the wife will take the opportunity to slug him. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/37 "2015-02-17T01:19:57Z")
> [@seal\_cleaner](#): > > If you’re in a restaurant, and an argument between a couple results in a man hitting his wife, _get hold of the wife._ if you restrain the husband, the wife will take the opportunity to slug him. And if you put your hands on the wife, she may slug YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Tuxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ee59a6/32.png) [@Tuxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuxie)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/38 "2015-02-17T01:24:30Z")
If your first husband assaulted you to the point of having a miscarriage, just tell people “you’ve had a miscarriage”. This is easier to do if you’ve remarried and had more kids since then, since it avoids awkward questions. ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/39 "2015-02-17T02:27:30Z")
How to catch,clean and fillet a catfish (Father) How to cook the thing (Mom) ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680/40 "2015-02-17T05:34:23Z")
Dad: How to shoot pool. If I had to, I could hustle pool, and pay all my bills. Mom: How to be a good and kind person, but still never be taken advantage of. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-things-your-parents-taught-you/712680.md?page=3)