# Special treatment? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282 "2009-09-23T20:01:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/1 "2009-09-23T20:01:05Z")
> [@Do large breasts always hurt, or can some women carry them without problems?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/do-large-breasts-always-hurt-or-can-some-women-carry-them-without-problems/511131/40): > > \ > Come on, guys, we’re not 13 years old here. > > This is a serious topic. Keep it that way, please. > > \ I don’t get this. Why is it okay to make sophomoric jokes on every other topic on the Dope but this one? Is there a rule I’m missing? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/2 "2009-09-23T20:05:17Z")
What one? A link would be nice. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/3 "2009-09-23T20:05:38Z")
i’m not sure if I was clear there. I get that these jokes might be offensive to big-breasted women. What I wonder is if I can start reporting jokes that are offensive to me. Seeing as I’m a semi-fundamentalist Christian who leans towards the right on almost everything, I could start reporting a bunch of posts. ETA: > [@silenus](#): > > What one? A link would be nice. There’s a built-in link in the quote. Click the little image. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/4 "2009-09-23T20:28:35Z")
I don’t know whether **Rico** was thinking about [this thread,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=511282) but I suspect **Rubystreak** was. Short answer: a lot of women would prefer not to have to deal with prepubescent-style “wit” when discussing things having to do with their (our) breasts. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/5 "2009-09-23T21:35:51Z")
Well, that’s just tough titty, isn’t it? I mean c’mon. People tell penis jokes and stories all the time. [Here’s one in an IMHO thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11584166&postcount=32) about doctors. [And here’s an administrator responding to it](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11585567&postcount=45) without so much as an eyeblink. I realize that somehow, the penis thing will be spun differently to make the analogy fail. Or maybe the old “Just because Johnny does X, doesn’t mean we should all do Y” retort. Nevertheless, notwithstanding all of that, there’s too much crying and not enough laughing. Laugh a little. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/6 "2009-09-23T22:05:55Z")
Jesus. Are you guys serious? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/7 "2009-09-23T22:10:01Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I don’t know whether **Rico** was thinking about [this thread,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=511282) but I suspect **Rubystreak** was. Short answer: a lot of women would prefer not to have to deal with prepubescent-style “wit” when discussing things having to do with their (our) breasts. Yeah, I was thinking of your ATMB thread and the Tracy Lord Pit thread when I posted my “There’s one in every thread” comment. Because there IS one in every thread. And it’s lame as hell. > [@BigT](#): > > I don’t get this. Why is it okay to make sophomoric jokes on every other topic on the Dope but this one? Is there a rule I’m missing? I don’t think it’s a special rule. Thread shitting is thread shitting, and we’re advised by the mods to report it, not comment on it, engage in junior modding, or derail the thread to address it. Apparently Rico felt the jokes were thread shitty enough to ask the gentlemen in question to stop. He didn’t warn anyone or ban anyone, he just asked them to stop. Are you seriously suggesting he did something wrong? I think, if you felt a bunch of sophomoric jokes was detracting from a serious thread on another topic, and you reported it or a Mod saw it and thought it was thread shitting, he or she would post something similar to what Rico posted. It’s not a special rule. It’s the same rule that has existed all along. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/8 "2009-09-23T22:10:34Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > I don’t know whether **Rico** was thinking about [this thread,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=511282) but I suspect **Rubystreak** was. Short answer: a lot of women would prefer not to have to deal with prepubescent-style “wit” when discussing things having to do with their (our) breasts. As I already said, I understand that some women are offended by them. (I know quite a few who are capable of taking them as intended, though.) As far as I know, other jokes that some people find offensive are perfectly allowable, as I’ve seen no other moderating asking them to stop. It thus seems like those who are offended by this type of joke are given special treatment. Knowing this board, I would assume this is not quite the case. I would hope that there is at least a fuzzy line defining why a joke is considered too offensive. Heck, I’d be fine if it was based on rule by popularity: a certain percentage of Dopers find this offensive, so we are going to officially discourage it. BTW, the one joke in that thread that I’d actually find offensive wasn’t mentioned in Rico’s moderation. I hope it was just overlooked. I’ll report it rather than repeat it. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/9 "2009-09-23T22:21:45Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Yeah, I was thinking of your ATMB thread and the Tracy Lord Pit thread when I posted my “There’s one in every thread” comment. Because there IS one in every thread. And it’s lame as hell. I have no problem with _you_ discouraging it. > [@](#): > > I don’t think it’s a special rule. Thread shitting is thread shitting, and we’re advised by the mods to report it, not comment on it, engage in junior modding, or derail the thread to address it. This is totally news to me. So I will start reporting threadshitting more often. I didn’t know I could, or I’d have done it a long time ago. > [@](#): > > Apparently Rico felt the jokes were thread shitty enough to ask the gentlemen in question to stop. He didn’t warn anyone or ban anyone, he just asked them to stop. Are you seriously suggesting he did something wrong? You see, I assume that if a mod can make a note on something, they can also serve a warning for the same subject. And yes, I would consider that wrong. Or at least unfair and uncharacteristic of the modding I’ve seen on this board. > [@](#): > > I think, if you felt a bunch of sophomoric jokes was detracting from a serious thread on another topic, and you reported it or a Mod saw it and thought it was thread shitting, he or she would post something similar to what Rico posted. It’s not a special rule. It’s the same rule that has existed all along. I guess I don’t see how the thread was being derailed. Two people (arguably three) made jokes. A few people aired their dislike for those jokes, but the thread itself stayed on topic. In fact, it wasn’t until after the moderation that the thread died. If **Rico** had said that the thread was getting off topic and issued a reminder, I wouldn’t have batted an eye. I still wish Rico himself would have cleared this up, so I knew you weren’t putting words into his mouth. But I’m okay with this now. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/10 "2009-09-23T22:22:16Z")
The mods are, in fact, discussing this behind the scenes. We’re certainly not trying to censor sophomoric jokes or low-taste comments. On the other hand, when someone wants a serious discussion about a topic, then interjecting a coarse joke is pretty much the definition of thread-shitting, n’est-ce pas? Telling jokes which some other posters find offensive is not, per se, a violation of the rules – obviously, excluding racist jokes, personal insults (however humorous) outside the Pit, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/11 "2009-09-23T22:27:59Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > i’m not sure if I was clear there. I get that these jokes might be offensive to big-breasted women. What I wonder is if I can start reporting jokes that are offensive to me. Seeing as I’m a semi-fundamentalist Christian who leans towards the right on almost everything, I could start reporting a bunch of posts. Yes, you absolutely can. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/12 "2009-09-23T22:31:48Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I have no problem with _you_ discouraging it. See, I thought I wasn’t supposed to. That would be junior modding, right? I made a negative comment about it, but is that really discouraging it? It literally happens in every serious thread about breasts, and it’s annoying. If a woman says it’s annoying, she gets painted as a humorless, shrill feminazi who can’t take a joke or just shrug it off. If a Mod says something about it, maybe it’ll just stop. > [@](#): > > This is totally news to me. So I will start reporting threadshitting more often. I didn’t know I could, or I’d have done it a long time ago. There was a recent ATMB thread about thread shitting where we were told to report it, not go off on the person we thought was thread shitting, and leave it up to the Mods to deal with it. I thought that was pretty much standard policy anyway. We’re not supposed to discipline other posters. > [@](#): > > You see, I assume that if a mod can make a note on something, they can also serve a warning for the same subject. And yes, I would consider that wrong. Why? The jokes are sexist and lame. If they were racist and lame, for instance, I bet the person in question would get a warning, and not just a “knock it off.” The thread in question was not a flirty thread at all, not even a little tiny bit, so those jokes were out of line. Rico’s modding was restrained and on target IMO. > [@](#): > > I guess I don’t see how the thread was being derailed. Two people (arguably three) made jokes. A few people aired their dislike for those jokes, but the thread itself stayed on topic. In fact, it wasn’t until after the moderation that the thread died. I didn’t say it was derailed. I said it detracted from the thread, and IMO it did. I noticed that the thread has died since Rico posted, but I wouldn’t blame Rico for that. > [@](#): > > If **Rico** had said that the thread was getting off topic and issued a reminder, I wouldn’t have batted an eye. I still wish Rico himself would have cleared this up, so I knew you weren’t putting words into his mouth. I’m not putting words in his mouth. I’m just giving my opinion, which may or may not reflect anything that Rico was thinking. Liberal, I have no idea how your example relates to this situation. Seriously, I’m not seeing it at all. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/13 "2009-09-23T23:33:56Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > See, I thought I wasn’t supposed to. That would be junior modding, right? I made a negative comment about it, but is that really discouraging it? It literally happens in every serious thread about breasts, and it’s annoying. If a woman says it’s annoying, she gets painted as a humorless, shrill feminazi who can’t take a joke or just shrug it off. If a Mod says something about it, maybe it’ll just stop. As I don’t see it within the moderators powers to prohibit certain types of jokes, I wouldn’t call it junior modding. It’s merely asking people to be polite. > [@](#): > > There was a recent ATMB thread about thread shitting where we were told to report it, not go off on the person we thought was thread shitting, and leave it up to the Mods to deal with it. I thought that was pretty much standard policy anyway. We’re not supposed to discipline other posters. Must have missed it. I don’t expect anyone to discipline anyone else. But there’s a difference between disciplining and asking people to not saying something impolite. I would only call it Junior Modding if you acted like you had some authority to stop it. > [@](#): > > Why? The jokes are sexist and lame. If they were racist and lame, for instance, I bet the person in question would get a warning, and not just a “knock it off.” The thread in question was not a flirty thread at all, not even a little tiny bit, so those jokes were out of line. Rico’s modding was restrained and on target IMO. You must have missed the other person who had already made it a flirty/filthy comment. I find that if you don’t say anything about someone else’s detraction from a thread, people tend to assume such detraction is okay. Thus the reason I promote at least saying something. As for a warning, I would find it quite unfair, as, as far as I know, nobody else has gotten a warning for similarly offensive behavior. In fact, I suspect it would get overturned by the sheer number of people who would object to it, claiming the mods were just adding rules. (Despite the fact that “Don’t be jerk” covers it, IMO) > [@](#): > > I didn’t say it was derailed. I said it detracted from the thread, and IMO it did. I noticed that the thread has died since Rico posted, but I wouldn’t blame Rico for that. True, I misread. I do find that a moderator action can hurt a particularly passionate thread, but you’re probably right that Rico didn’t. He just was late to the party. I went ahead and tried to revive it a bit. > [@](#): > > I’m not putting words in his mouth. I’m just giving my opinion, which may or may not reflect anything that Rico was thinking I know you aren’t. Poor choice of words. I would’ve rather heard his reasoning without being influenced by yours, which I feel is now impossible. It is just wishful thinking on my part. I don’t think that you did anything wrong. > [@](#): > > Liberal, I have no idea how your example relates to this situation. Seriously, I’m not seeing it at all. Unfortunately, Lib, I have to agree. While breasts and penises may seem analogous, they really aren’t. Very few guys are ashamed of talking about their big penis, nor are they offended by women flirting with them because of it. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2009, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/14 "2009-09-23T23:42:57Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > As I don’t see it within the moderators powers to prohibit certain types of jokes, I wouldn’t call it junior modding. It’s merely asking people to be polite. The problem is, it’s a loaded situation. I participated in that 12 page trainwreck on breast-related comments, and it got VERY UGLY. It’s not worth engaging in as a poster, IMO. It would definitely derail the thread if you try to cut someone down for their inappropriately flirty boob comment, then they respond negatively, and now it’s an argument instead of a discussion about breast pain or whatever. > [@](#): > > As for a warning, I would find it quite unfair, as, as far as I know, nobody else has gotten a warning for similarly offensive behavior. In fact, I suspect it would get overturned by the sheer number of people who would object to it, claiming the mods were just adding rules. (Despite the fact that “Don’t be jerk” covers it, IMO) I am positive that a person who made an inappropriate and unsolicited racist joke in an IMHO thread would get a warning. Why are the rules different for sexist jokes? > [@](#): > > Unfortunately, Lib, I have to agree. While breasts and penises may seem analogous, they really aren’t. Very few guys are ashamed of talking about their big penis, nor are they offended by women flirting with them because of it. It’s not that breasts and penises aren’t analogous. It’s that Cisco was joking about his own penis in Lib’s cited thread. In the breast pain thread of your OP, neither the OP nor any of the women in the thread is joking around. Thus, joking in the first case is not out of line, but joking in the second case is, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/15 "2009-09-24T00:49:09Z")
Sorry, folks, I was out on a job. Meatspace activities, I know…totally inappropriate… My take: It was supposed to be a serious thread. We didn’t have women in the thread saying “Look at my 38HHH tits!” They were commenting on the OP, which was whether breast size increases back and other pain. And breast size is a factor to consider in people’s experiences. Remarks like that are inappropriate in a serious thread. Back in March a poster stated in Twick’s thread about breast jokes: > [@](#): > > Boob jokes in serious conversations … should get warnings, with blocks if it intentionally continues beyond the warnings. > > Boob jokes in flirty threads – that’s fine, that’s what they are there for. If the person doing the flirting isn’t interested they can spell it out, and then if someone continues past that, again, warnings and possibly blocks. > > What we can do without changing rules: current rules allow warnings and blocks, they just need to be enforced. There are varying degrees of offenses, so the mod staff should take that into account. Some of the recent behavior, which includes thread stalking to discuss boobs in completely unrelated threads, needs very stern warnings and blocks. some of thee threads are outright harassment of the most immature, boorish and ignorant kind. It’s offensive to have that on any website but especially jarring on a site that’s supposed to be about fighting ignorance. Maybe it’s the high percentage of socially awkward and lonely types, but they need to be trained, gently or not so gently if necessary, to get past that kind of behavior or avoid those threads entirely. Acting like a crazed stalker type is just not cool. No one point to this later and say that “Uncle Rico made that rule back in September of 2009.” I did no such thing. That is a very succinct and good sense post - but not a rule. We try not to make rules on everything. We’re not lawyers (well, most of us aren’t) and too many rules cut down the enjoyment for everyone. Common sense, people, common sense. Thank you. (off soapbox) ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/16 "2009-09-24T01:54:36Z")
I can understand how distasteful it is to make titty jokes in, say, a thread about breast cancer. Yeah, I’d say that’s threadshitting. But the same would be true about making penis jokes in a thread about a botched circumcision someone is having to endure. In fact, in general, just dropping into a thread for no purpose other than to ridicule the participants is thread shitting. That’s how it seems to me, anyway. And I’m nobody in particular, so… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/17 "2009-09-24T14:03:38Z")
Thinking it over, ridiculing the participants is general ad hominem, already forbidden everywhere but the Pit. My sentence above should have read like this instead: In fact, in general, just dropping into a thread for no purpose other than to ridicule the topic or subject matter is thread shitting. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/18 "2009-09-24T14:12:37Z")
> [@Rico](#): > > We try not to make rules on everything. We’re not lawyers (well, most of us aren’t) and too many rules cut down the enjoyment for everyone. Indeed they do. But nannying posters too much also cuts down on enjoyment, and that’s just what this is. The jokes were harmless and within the rules. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/19 "2009-09-24T14:37:11Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > I can understand how distasteful it is to make titty jokes in, say, a thread about breast cancer. Yeah, I’d say that’s threadshitting. But the same would be true about making penis jokes in a thread about a botched circumcision someone is having to endure. Thing is, women aren’t men (I know there was a memo about it). Men relate to each other differently. There’s more insults and humor used as bonding even when that humor is over their own bodies. Women are already self conscious about their bodies especially their breasts. Talking about that particular subject leaves one open to feeling ridiculed and that their pain (because it is painful dammit) is secondary to once again being treated like they exist for no other reason than to be stared at. After a lifetime of such jokes and comments it gets very old. As Rubystreak said it would be nice if just once such comments went unsaid. The fact that (some) men see it as just a comment is sort of an apples and oranges argument. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/20 "2009-09-24T14:38:19Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Indeed they do. But nannying posters too much also cuts down on enjoyment, and that’s just what this is. The jokes were harmless and within the rules. Whose enjoyment at whose expense? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282.md?page=2)