# Special treatment? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [September 23, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282 "2009-09-23T20:01:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/21 "2009-09-24T14:47:06Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Indeed they do. But nannying posters too much also cuts down on enjoyment, and that’s just what this is. I bet most people participating in that thread thought the nannying was less annoying than the “Hur hur, me like big breasts! :D”. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/22 "2009-09-24T15:15:28Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > I bet most people participating in that thread thought the nannying was less annoying than the “Hur hur, me like big breasts! :D”. So true. Also, if you act like a baby, you need a nanny, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/23 "2009-09-24T15:18:49Z")
Then posters are quite free to make their feelings known to the jokers and ask them to stop. If enough posters complain then the mods could step in if the joking didn’t stop. (If that’s what happened here, ie many posters complained to **Rico** , then I have no problem with it.) Do we really need the mods to step in for every damn thing? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/24 "2009-09-24T16:40:39Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Do we really need the mods to step in for every damn thing? That’s pretty much how **twickster** put it in the earlier thread. This is a complicated situation to moderate: we don’t want to keep people from having fun or create a special class of threads where you can’t make jokes, but we don’t want people to feel threadshat-on or sexually harrassed either. It’s really up to Dopers to use some more discretion in what they post to certain kinds of threads: what’s okay in a picture or flirty kind of thread is probably not going to fly in a thread about breast cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/25 "2009-09-24T16:56:26Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Then posters are quite free to make their feelings known to the jokers and ask them to stop. If enough posters complain then the mods could step in if the joking didn’t stop. (If that’s what happened here, ie many posters complained to **Rico** , then I have no problem with it.) So the thread should have to be hijacked by several posters in order for it to justify mod intervention? How about some common sense gets employed and the comments not get made in the first place? I realize it’s the fault of the other posters because after all, they were talking about boobs (hur hurrr durr) and you can’t expect adults to act like adults and read for content when they’re turned on by strangers on the internet, but really. This is along the lines of saying you couldn’t help grabbing that chick’s butt because it was right there! It wasn’t your fault! She shouldn’t have been in public looking like that! :rolleyes: Is self restraint really too much to expect? People here are expected to think before hitting post. Why should this circumstance be any different? > [@](#): > > Do we really need the mods to step in for every damn thing? ‘Every’? Really? Either people get slapped for being junior mods or they get slapped for not reporting it or they get slapped for ‘not being a good sport.’ Kind of a no win situation. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/26 "2009-09-24T17:07:30Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Then posters are quite free to make their feelings known to the jokers and ask them to stop. If enough posters complain then the mods could step in if the joking didn’t stop. (If that’s what happened here, ie many posters complained to **Rico** , then I have no problem with it.) People aren’t always willing to make their feelings know when it’s as likely as not they’re going to get grief for it. I’ve seen it happen many times where someone does just that only to get beaten up for trying to “control the discussion” or “jr. modding”. Common sense says that if it’s a serious topic, then maybe making stupid jokes should be avoided. I also think that Syntropy is right. People shouldn’t have to wait until a thread is completely hijacked to get a mod to say something. > [@](#): > > Do we really need the mods to step in for every damn thing? What Rico posted hardly rises to the level of outrage some folks are expressing. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/27 "2009-09-24T17:46:16Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > I am positive that a person who made an inappropriate and unsolicited racist joke in an IMHO thread would get a warning. Why are the rules different for sexist jokes? Because there are lots of -ists out there that we don’t cater to. Have you seen the number of anti-religious jokes? And, frankly, it’s much easier to tell if a joke is racist than sexist. While I can understand that the posts were in bad taste, I see nothing sexist about them, without assuming a lot. It’s just guys saying they like big breasts. Not exactly news, just not necessarily appropriate to the topic at hand. And I still note you have never said anything about the guy who said he was going to pleasure himself to the thread. Why is that acceptable? As I said, without saying anything bad about it, you’re giving tacit approval. ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/28 "2009-09-24T19:39:13Z")
FWIW, if you’re having a serious discussion about religion in GQ or IMHO (for example, let’s say “How does your church handle Christmas Gift drives?”, and someone dropped in (again) to mention how religion is like beliving in magic sky pixies/invisible pink unicorns/whatever, you would be totally within bounds to report the thread as threadshitting and expect action. At least, in my opinion. Mods, is this correct? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/29 "2009-09-24T19:43:09Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > FWIW, if you’re having a serious discussion about religion in GQ or IMHO (for example, let’s say “How does your church handle Christmas Gift drives?”, and someone dropped in (again) to mention how religion is like beliving in magic sky pixies/invisible pink unicorns/whatever, you would be totally within bounds to report the thread as threadshitting and expect action. At least, in my opinion. > > Mods, is this correct? I don’t moderate in either of those forums, but yes, in general, if there’s a non-joking discussion going on about any topic and someone comes in to say obnoxious things about the premise of the topic, that should be considered threadshitting and is worth reporting by flagging the post. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/30 "2009-09-24T19:47:00Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > FWIW, if you’re having a serious discussion about religion in GQ or IMHO (for example, let’s say “How does your church handle Christmas Gift drives?”, and someone dropped in (again) to mention how religion is like beliving in magic sky pixies/invisible pink unicorns/whatever, you would be totally within bounds to report the thread as threadshitting and expect action. At least, in my opinion. > > Mods, is this correct? In GQ we have a rule against religious and other sorts of jabs. I’d probably write a note citing that rule. And it’s never out of bounds to report a post. **Gfactor** General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![crazyjoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@crazyjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazyjoe)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/31 "2009-09-24T20:01:58Z")
I know I can report posts without repercussion…at least within reason, but what about IMHO threads on a serious topic, like religion, getting pooped on by someone doing a drive-by? Would that be permissable? Could we expect, at the very least, a “stop doing this” type of announcement from a mod? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/32 "2009-09-24T20:05:16Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Because there are lots of -ists out there that we don’t cater to. Have you seen the number of anti-religious jokes? I don’t think that’s acceptable either, if the thread is not one where it’s appropriate. Have you reported threads where this happens only to be ignored? If not, then you don’t know if your concerns would not be “catered to.” Try it and see, then report back if you don’t get results you believe to be fair. > [@](#): > > And, frankly, it’s much easier to tell if a joke is racist than sexist. Really? Isn’t there a clusterfuck multipage thread in the Pit right now about whether or not Shodan is a racist? Apparently it’s not as easy as you claim. > [@](#): > > While I can understand that the posts were in bad taste, I see nothing sexist about them, without assuming a lot. It’s just guys saying they like big breasts. Not exactly news, just not necessarily appropriate to the topic at hand. I think it’s sexist if, when a woman is complaining of the pain her large breasts cause her, you openly talk about how it makes you want to masturbate, or meet the woman in question so you can ogle her, etc. I don’t even see why this is a question. But of course, you’re a man, so maybe your perspective would be different if you had to deal with this sort of thing on a regular basis, both IRL and here on the SDMB. > [@](#): > > And I still note you have never said anything about the guy who said he was going to pleasure himself to the thread. Why is that acceptable? As I said, without saying anything bad about it, you’re giving tacit approval. Of course it’s not acceptable, but I’m not sure why it’s on me. I didn’t notice it in the original thread, and it’s not my freakin’ job to point out other people’s bad behavior and sanction it. That would be junior modding. It’s the Mods’ job to cite those folks. Ask Rico why he didn’t comment on it, not me. My policy is to interact with those comments as little as possible. If you feel the comment is so offensive, why didn’t YOU say something? Is that tacit approval from you? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/33 "2009-09-24T20:26:33Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Of course it’s not acceptable, but I’m not sure why it’s on me. I didn’t notice it in the original thread, and it’s not my freakin’ job to point out other people’s bad behavior and sanction it. That would be junior modding. It’s the Mods’ job to cite those folks. Ask Rico why he didn’t comment on it, not me. Minor correction, here, **Rubystreak** : the mods can’t see everything, everywhere. If you see bad behavior, it _IS_ your (collective) responsibility to report it, so that the mods can decide whether to take action. There’s no way that the mods could read all threads to find all misbehaviors, we rely heavily on y’all to report them. Right? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/34 "2009-09-24T20:56:34Z")
> [@Syntropy](#): > > Thing is, women aren’t men (I know there was a memo about it). Men relate to each other differently. There’s more insults and humor used as bonding even when that humor is over their own bodies. Women are already self conscious about their bodies especially their breasts. Talking about that particular subject leaves one open to feeling ridiculed and that their pain (because it is painful dammit) is secondary to once again being treated like they exist for no other reason than to be stared at. After a lifetime of such jokes and comments it gets very old. As Rubystreak said it would be nice if just once such comments went unsaid. The fact that (some) men see it as just a comment is sort of an apples and oranges argument. I know that you’re right. I really do. But I also know that, in my experience, some women (and men) hold that differentiating men and women in such a way is sexist. There are, after all, a lot of men who also are self-conscious about their bodies. There’s a phenomenon that I call “urinal posture”. I have no idea if it has a real name or is an official thing or whatever, but there are some men who stand like a banana, with their backs arched backwards to keep their penises well out of view. And there are some men who can’t even pee if another man is nearby. So, yeah, I do believe men relate to each other differently than women do, but not always, and not all of them. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/35 "2009-09-24T20:59:48Z")
> [@crazyjoe](#): > > I know I can report posts without repercussion…at least within reason, but what about IMHO threads on a serious topic, like religion, getting pooped on by someone doing a drive-by? Would that be permissable? Could we expect, at the very least, a “stop doing this” type of announcement from a mod? Probably. (I’m not going to guarantee anything, because we mods are human, and there are all kinds of variables here, like which forum, what the thread was about, what the drive-by was, whether it was reported promptly, etc. etc. etc.) But, yes, in general, we moderators want to encourage civility – that being the opposite of jerkiness – around here. We might encourage civility with a gentle throat-clearing, as Rico did in the thread that kicked off this particular discussion, or we might issue warnings, depending. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/36 "2009-09-24T20:59:49Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > Minor correction, here, **Rubystreak** : the mods can’t see everything, everywhere. If you see bad behavior, it _IS_ your (collective) responsibility to report it, so that the mods can decide whether to take action. There’s no way that the mods could read all threads to find all misbehaviors, we rely heavily on y’all to report them. Right? 😉 Well, Dex, first of all, I didn’t even see the comment BigT is talking about. Should I be expected to go back to that thread now and say something? That would be junior modding, wouldn’t it? Second, Rico did post to the thread, which wasn’t very long, so it’s not unreasonable to think he saw that comment. But he didn’t mention it in his Modding, and it’s much more his job to say something about it than it is mine. So, yeah, if I saw it and it bugged me, I would have reported it. I didn’t, so I didn’t. Maybe Big T should report it, no? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/37 "2009-09-24T22:04:15Z")
Whoa, **Rubystreak** , calm please. I was reacting to you comment that “it’s not my freakin’ job to point out other people’s bad behavior” and I was modifying that to say yeah, it _is_ your job to point out other people’s bad behavior by means of the REPORT function. I wasn’t being critical of you, I wasn’t saying that you should have reported somehting you didn’t see, I just don’t want posters thinking that they can ignore stuff and wait for the mods to see it. And I did have a smiley face (which I rarely use) so you’d know I wasn’t being critical of you, I was just using your phrase to emphasis a point. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/38 "2009-09-24T22:10:45Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > Whoa, **Rubystreak** , calm please. I was reacting to you comment that “it’s not my freakin’ job to point out other people’s bad behavior” I don’t consider reporting a post pointing it out, not in the sense BigT meant it. He seems to want me to go back to that thread and make a public comment. I don’t think I should. I would definitely report it if I saw it. So we are in agreement. > [@](#): > > I just don’t want posters thinking that they can ignore stuff and wait for the mods to see it. And I did have a smiley face (which I rarely use) so you’d know I wasn’t being critical of you, I was just using your phrase to emphasis a point. 🙂 I agree, and I think that’s part of the issue that BigT is having–he says that people are making shitty comments in threads about subjects he cares about, but no Mods are commenting. Maybe if he reported those posts, they would receive Mod attention. But I don’t think posters have an obligation to call out other posters in the thread. That’s what I meant when I said it wasn’t my job to point out other people’s bad behavior. Report it, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/39 "2009-09-25T02:05:29Z")
I think it’s an obligation only if it matters to you. Just to pick a name at random, say, Der Trihs — he might not likely report a threadshitting post in a serious discussion of faith. On the other hand, some other random poster, say, lekatt, might not likely report a threadshitting post in a serious discussion of materialism. Note: the random posters have not been disparaged in any way, but merely used as hypothetical examples of how people might react given their views and the thread contents. They were not insulted either directly or indirectly, and comments on their likely behavior were entirely ethically neutral. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282/40 "2009-09-30T20:48:27Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > I don’t consider reporting a post pointing it out, not in the sense BigT meant it. He seems to want me to go back to that thread and make a public comment. I don’t think I should. I would definitely report it if I saw it. So we are in agreement. Sorry, just saw this. I don’t want you to go back. I just wanted to make sure that the first bad comment was also offensive, since it was never mentioned by you or anyone else. I wanted a mention here, not there. That “you” should have been general, I guess. I still say it works better to say something in-thread about how you didn’t like the content of a particular post. I’m not saying that you tell them to stop, which would be junior moderating. I’m saying it helps to acknowledge it as bad, get it out of the way, and then go on and post what you were already going to post. Somebody is eventually going to comment on it if you don’t. > [@](#): > > I agree, and I think that’s part of the issue that BigT is having–he says that people are making shitty comments in threads about subjects he cares about, but no Mods are commenting. Maybe if he reported those posts, they would receive Mod attention. But I don’t think posters have an obligation to call out other posters in the thread. That’s what I meant when I said it wasn’t my job to point out other people’s bad behavior. Report it, yes. More like I know there are a lot of religious people on here, yet none of them say anything (or apparently report anything) either. This led me to believe that it was an acceptable practice on here. Now that I know, I will seriously report things more often. I also am worried that someone might report a joke just because they didn’t find it funny, rather than it being truly offensive. I wanted to know where the line is. I’m still not quite sure after rereading this thread. “No jokes in serious threads” can’t quite be it, as GQ has a rule specifically saying that jokes can only come after the question is seriously answered. I know the line may be fuzzy and subjective, but surely it is there. Perhaps it’s just as simple as “Could a reasonable person understand why this would be offensive?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/special-treatment/511282.md?page=3)