# Species with greatest ejaculate **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [February 3, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141 "2008-02-03T21:35:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/1 "2008-02-03T21:35:21Z")
What species has the most ejaculate as a proportion of body mass? ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/2 "2008-02-03T21:37:13Z")
[QUOTE=Shalmanese] What species has the most ejaculate as a proportion of body mass? [/QUOTE] Peter North. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/3 "2008-02-03T21:42:01Z")
Also, what mammal. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/4 "2008-02-03T21:47:22Z")
[QUOTE=Shalmanese] What species has the most ejaculate as a proportion of body mass? [/QUOTE] I would guess a fish, though I wouldn’t know which particular species. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/5 "2008-02-03T23:46:57Z")
Q: What’s gray and comes in quarts? A: Elephants ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2008, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/6 "2008-02-03T23:57:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Peter North. Why do I have a nagging feeling that I shouldn’t google this to find out who he is? ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/7 "2008-02-04T00:03:42Z")
[QUOTE=Christopher] Why do I have a nagging feeling that I shouldn’t google this to find out who he is? [/QUOTE] Don’t jump straight to Peter North. Start with Harry Reams and work your way up to him. SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/8 "2008-02-04T00:30:54Z")
Boy, I sure am glad you meant “greatest” as in “most”, rather than “best”… ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/9 "2008-02-04T02:49:47Z")
Sperm whales. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/10 "2008-02-04T02:51:17Z")
[QUOTE=Indistinguishable] Boy, I sure am glad you meant “greatest” as in “most”, rather than “best”… [/QUOTE] That’s what instantly popped in my head when I read the thread title. I was about to say, “Well, I haven’t exactly _sampled_ all of them” ---
**Author:** ![Subway\_Prophet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Subway\_Prophet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subway_Prophet)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/11 "2008-02-04T04:20:56Z")
I would vote for [drosophila bifurca](http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?sec=health&res=990CE3DE103CF932A25756C0A963958260), which apparently “produces sperm that are more than 20 times the size of its body”. Just don’t ask me why “fruit fly sperm” was an appropriate Google search, or why I remembered the article. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/12 "2008-02-04T05:19:31Z")
[QUOTE=Subway Prophet] I would vote for [drosophila bifurca](http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?sec=health&res=990CE3DE103CF932A25756C0A963958260), which apparently “produces sperm that are more than 20 times the size of its body”. [/QUOTE] _Drosophila bifurca_ produces the _longest_ sperm whereas I think the OP is looking for quantity produced per ejaculation. > [@](#): > > The fly’s sperm, 1,000 times longer (at 2.3 inches) than those produced by humans, eclipses the previous record held by another fruit fly, _Drosophila hydei_, which produces male reproductive cells an inch long. The sperm of a man 6 feet tall, if proportionate to that of the champion fruit fly, would be about 120 feet long. So if David Cronenberg had filmed Brundlefly having a wank, the sperm would have shot straight out of the studio onto the street. I’m curious to know how the volume of ejaculate can be accurately measured, particularly in larger creatures such as elephants. I can’t envisage anyone checking out the contents of the female’s vagina following coitus, [especially when](http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4158/is_20051109/ai_n15837059): > [@](#): > > Once the sex is over, the female’s relatives are comically pleased with her " in ‘mating pandemonium’ her entire family rushes over, shouting, trumpeting and defecating everywhere. Not to get too prurient here but is the only sure method of measuring the volume of elephant ejaculate to stimulate said elephant, possibly using soft core elephant pornography as an aid, and catch the stuff in a bucket? ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/13 "2008-02-04T06:37:13Z")
[QUOTE=Chez Guevara] Not to get too prurient here but is the only sure method of measuring the volume of elephant ejaculate to stimulate said elephant, possibly using soft core elephant pornography as an aid, and catch the stuff in a bucket? [/QUOTE] It’s important to have a job that makes a difference. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/14 "2008-02-04T06:40:54Z")
> [@](#): > > Not to get too prurient here but is the only sure method of measuring the volume of elephant ejaculate to stimulate said elephant, possibly using soft core elephant pornography as an aid, and catch the stuff in a bucket? Semen is collected from almost all domesticated animals, for use in artificial insemination. I would be rather surprised if this were not also the case for elephants. Tha apparatus is a bit more sophisticated than a magazine full of naked elephant cows and a bucket, though. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/15 "2008-02-04T13:52:36Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] Semen is collected from almost all domesticated animals, for use in artificial insemination. I would be rather surprised if this were not also the case for elephants. Tha apparatus is a bit more sophisticated than a magazine full of naked elephant cows and a bucket, though. [/QUOTE] A guy dressed in some grey sweats, shaking his ass and playing a trombone? ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/16 "2008-02-04T14:06:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Once the sex is over, the female’s relatives are comically pleased with her " in ‘mating pandemonium’ her entire family rushes over, shouting, trumpeting and defecating everywhere. My ex’s family were a bit like that. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/17 "2008-02-04T17:09:28Z")
[QUOTE=fisha] A guy dressed in some grey sweats, shaking his ass and playing a trombone? [/QUOTE] In a previous artificial insemination thread, somebody linked to a site showing three styles of mock vaginas made for collecting horse sperm. Instead of Hot Mares magazine, a mare in heat (or the scent of one) was all it took to get him ready. Then Trigger, crazy with lust, is persuaded to mount a framework. Underneath, it is somebody’s job to hold a wood-and-leather faux horse pussy, and gather the semen. “Quit whinin’, Clem. It’s your turn to wank the horse.” Anyway, it’s safe to say it’s just a larger maneuver for an elephant. :eek: There really ought to be a kumquat joke in here somewhere, but I can’t quite bring it off. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/18 "2008-02-04T17:32:57Z")
Actually I’ve heard they get it from the ‘prostate massage’ method for elephants. Basically this guy puts a garbage bag over his arm, sticks his entire arm (like up to the shoulder) up the elephant’s rear and wiggles his arm around. The best part is that the elephant _knows_ this feels good and I’m pretty sure when he sees the dude with the arm-length glove on the elephant will start backing up toward him. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/19 "2008-02-04T17:35:25Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] In a previous artificial insemination thread, somebody linked to a site showing three styles of mock vaginas made for collecting horse sperm. Instead of Hot Mares magazine, a mare in heat (or the scent of one) was all it took to get him ready. Then Trigger, crazy with lust, is persuaded to mount a framework. Underneath, it is somebody’s job to hold a wood-and-leather faux horse pussy, and gather the semen. “Quit whinin’, Clem. It’s your turn to wank the horse.” Anyway, it’s safe to say it’s just a larger maneuver for an elephant. :eek: There really ought to be a kumquat joke in here somewhere, but I can’t quite bring it off. [/QUOTE] Anyone interested in seeing this done should look at some of the Dirty Jobs reruns. Mike Rowe gets intimately involved with many different creatures. At one point, he was handling a sort of anal probe gadget that was connected to a fancy control panel. In another show, he got to use the aforementioned artificial horse vaginas. Truly amazing stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2008, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141/20 "2008-02-04T17:43:55Z")
[QUOTE=Chez Guevara] I’m curious to know how the volume of ejaculate can be accurately measured, particularly in larger creatures such as elephants. [/QUOTE] Watch _Freddy Got Fingered._ Tom Green scrupulously observed scientific accuracy in this matter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/species-with-greatest-ejaculate/436141.md?page=2)