# Speed bumps are for slowing down, not stopping!!!!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 5, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417 "2009-11-05T14:09:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ThePylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@ThePylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThePylon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/1 "2009-11-05T14:09:32Z")
Okay, I get that you vehicle is a high-priced, precision machine, and it’s very difficult keeping at the high rate of speed (30 motherfrakkin km/h) expected of you whilst juggling your double double, blackberry, bagel, satellite radio controls and watching your progress on your tomtom. I get it. You are a fucking douchenozzle, but I get it. But - you DO NOT NEED TO COME TO A FUCKING COMPLETE AND TOTAL STOP AT EVERY MOTHER FRAKKING SPEED BUMP. Again, precision machine, costs well over $100,000, which IMO, is too much for a commuter vehicle, but hey, that’s your perogative. You don’t want to damage all the little precision crafted parts a baubles and crap in your vehilce. Except. It is a MOTHER FUCKING LAND ROVER! I refer you to the Ontario Highway act, R.S.O. 1990, c. H.8, s. 191.0.2: (1) “No person shall drive a vehicle expressly built for off-road purposes on a smooth, easily travelled roadway like a fucking wuss-ball” (2) “Every person who contravenes subsection (1) is guilty of an offence and on conviction is liable to getting every gadget affecting their progress shoved up their asshole sideways repeatedly, then shall trade in said vehicle for a Toyota Echo with a speed limiter set at 60 km/h and forced to drive in 2nd gear at all times.” Assmunch ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/2 "2009-11-05T14:35:39Z")
9/10. Strong pacing, excellent use of fake statutes, judicious use of swearing. You only lost points for the use of “mother frakking”, which just doesn’t fit the tone, and for your placement of “Assmunch”, which appears to be a sign-off rather than a parting shot. If your name _is_ Assmuch, you get a nine and a half. Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/3 "2009-11-05T14:45:44Z")
6/10. Use of the hackneyed term “douchenozzle,” plus all the stuff RNATB mentioned. But the biggest offense is failure to recognize that speed bumps are not for slowing down or stopping, but for speeding up. How else do you give the suspension on a Land Rover a workout? Og knows the yuppies won’t actually take the damned things off road. ---
**Author:** ![ThePylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@ThePylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThePylon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/4 "2009-11-05T15:58:44Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > 9/10. > > parting shot. If your name _is_ Assmuch, you get a nine and a half. > > Bravo! Damn, screwed the dismount, did I? The frakkin’s due to just finishing season 1 of BSG - can’t keep it out of the lexicon. ---
**Author:** ![ThePylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@ThePylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThePylon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/5 "2009-11-05T16:00:22Z")
> [@THespos](#): > > 6/10. Use of the hackneyed term “douchenozzle,” plus all the stuff RNATB mentioned. I will launch a protest - I argue it “sticks” better than “douchebag”. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/6 "2009-11-05T16:21:15Z")
Well, I come to a virtual stop at speed bumps. But then again, I’m solidly middle class - I don’t own an elitist $100k Land Rover. I just became middle class enough to by a used 2007 Mustang (the lowly V6 version, not the boss GT) and I’ll be fucked if I’m going to pay for new struts every time I drive past a school. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/7 "2009-11-05T16:23:39Z")
> [@ThePylon](#): > > Speed bumps are for slowing down, not stopping!!! Sometimes a driver’s just _got_ to give themselves an enema, and what better spot than at a speed bump? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/8 "2009-11-05T16:25:05Z")
> [@ThePylon](#): > > Damn, screwed the dismount, did I? > > The frakkin’s due to just finishing season 1 of BSG - can’t keep it out of the lexicon. Fun fact: “frak” precedes (the new) Battlestar Galactica by [quite some time](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frak!). ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/9 "2009-11-05T16:27:41Z")
I like the suspension on my elite Saturn SL2, so I, too almost stop at speed bumps. OP, you’re probably one of those people who lays on the horn when people don’t start moving fast enough at a red light. ---
**Author:** ![ThePylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@ThePylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThePylon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/10 "2009-11-05T17:38:40Z")
I think this might clear some of my frustration up (as to suspensions, etc).. I meant one of these: [Speed bump - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_hump) > [@](#): > > OP, you’re probably one of those people who lays on the horn when people don’t start moving fast enough at a red light. And, no tacoloco, even an aggressive jackass like me doesn’t expect people to drive through a red light… ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/11 "2009-11-05T17:44:56Z")
While I don’t come to a full stop at speed bumps, and don’t particularly coddle my car, I see the choice as this: a) proceed at a speed where you feel the bump, or b) slow down enough so that you don’t. IMHO, most speed bumps are poorly designed: IME, it feels roughly the same to go over them at any speed above about 8-10 mph. So there’s no point, AFAIAC, in slowing down for a speed bump unless I’m going to get down to 5-7 mph, which is pretty damned slow. Hell, it’s a bit slower than I’ll do at a 4-way stop sign where nobody else is coming from either side. So it’ll _feel_ like I’m coming to a full stop, if you’re on my tail. ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/12 "2009-11-05T17:48:05Z")
Ok, so that’s different. A speed “hump” looks low and wide. I don’t think I’d slow to near stop for one of those. Speed bumps, OTOH, you never know how big it’s going to be, so I use extra care. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/13 "2009-11-05T17:52:42Z")
> [@ThePylon](#): > > I think this might clear some of my frustration up (as to suspensions, etc).. > > I meant one of these: [Speed bump - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_hump) One of those would rip the oil pan right off my car if I hit it at 30 mph. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/14 "2009-11-05T17:56:58Z")
Then your car is poorly designed. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/15 "2009-11-05T17:59:13Z")
Chillax, man. Unless you are a paramedic or a police officer hurrying to drop a birthday card off, there is no rush on the roads. Remember this mantra:- Life is not a race. Your being stopped for an extra few seconds is not going to cause the world, or even yourself, any great hardship. 3/10 and a recommendation of anger management classes for at least a month. A man of your impatience should not really be in charge of a motorised vehicle. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/16 "2009-11-05T18:11:33Z")
Coming to a complete stop unnecessarily 8 times is not only frustrating, it wastes fuel and causes your brakes to wear faster. Sure, it’s not going to make a noticeable difference one time, but maybe he gets stuck behind this douche every day. ---
**Author:** ![ThePylon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@ThePylon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThePylon)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/17 "2009-11-05T18:15:13Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > One of those would rip the oil pan right off my car if I hit it at 30 mph. That’s why you’re supposed to go 30 km/h (18mph) on this stretch… As to those who think I belong off the roads, I vented in the pit rather than out there - no worries, usually veeeery level-headed. Was more frustrated by seeing all the crap going on in the other vehicle other than driving than the repetitive stopping at aforementioned speed humps. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/18 "2009-11-05T18:17:49Z")
Am I the only one that thinks this is a great user name/post title combo? ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/19 "2009-11-05T18:29:48Z")
[J. Cleese]No no no no no no no! You’ve got it all wrong![/J. Cleese] They are called speed bumps, speeeeeeed bumps. They are not called slowing down bumps, are they…well, are they? So, what do you do when you come to a speeeed bump? Why you speeeeeed up, of course! ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417/20 "2009-11-05T18:58:27Z")
The real question is, did **ThePylon** make the urgent meeting/surgery/fire/birth he was obviously rushing to that couldn’t take what probably amounted to 15 seconds of extra time. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-bumps-are-for-slowing-down-not-stopping/516417.md?page=2)