# Speed dating tonight. Advice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2005, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385 "2005-02-10T13:35:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/1 "2005-02-10T13:35:06Z")
The law school at my university is hosting an evening of speed dating. For those of you not familiar with this, I will, over the course of the evening, have 10 five-minute “dates” with different women who have been selected using some rather cheesy matchup survey. If two of us mark down on a sheet that we’re interested in “romance” with the other, our email addresses are exchanged. If one of us marks down “friendship” and the other “romance” or “friendship”, it’s the same deal, but we’re told that it’s for friendship (I had not heard of this option before.) I have never done this before. I have not been on a date in two years. I have never gone on a date with someone I did not already know. Do any of you have some pointers for me? I really have no idea what I’m doing. I think the scariest part of the evening is going to be the mingling that will occur between “dates”. They only have so many booths for dates, so this will be spread out over a few hours. I’ve never been good with these sorts of situations. Any advice will be greatly appreciated! ---
**Author:** ![neisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4bbf92/32.png) [@neisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neisha)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/2 "2005-02-10T18:51:15Z")
How fun! You should be confidant, but not cocky. Outgoing and friendly. In between dates, mingle, smile, shake hands and introduce yourself. Giving them the impression that you’re having a good time and glad you’re there. Act like it is an opportunity to meet new people, not needing to find your soul mate. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/3 "2005-02-10T19:37:12Z")
Wrap up each date with this line: “Oh, by the way, in the time we’ve been talking I could have had 2 orgasms and fallen asleep.” Wimmins just love that. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/4 "2005-02-10T19:50:00Z")
I would suggest thinking in advance of a couple of topics that you could bring up in case the conversation lulls. Try to be alert (sleep good the night before), well dressed, and in the best mood you can muster. Treat it like a kids game and enjoy yourself. Your natural relaxed manner will win over more ladies than a forced smile. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/5 "2005-02-10T19:55:03Z")
Is this…in aid of the Law School, or somebody’s psych thesis, or what? Are you obligated to go through with this? I think it could be a hoot, but I just wonder how you’re involved. ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/6 "2005-02-10T20:02:11Z")
> [@neisha](#): > > You should be confidant, but not cocky. Better to be confident than a confidant. But listening doesn’t hurt either. First and foremost, have a good time. Being desperate, nervous, or trying too hard is going to be a turn-off. This is an opportunity for women to meet you, not your only chance to ever hook up with someone. Be interesting, but more importantly be interested. Ask questions. When someone says “I spent the summer in Paris” it isn’t necessarily time to tell them all about your travels, it’s time to ask them “What did you enjoy most about it?” or somesuch. Think of a few things before hand to ask about. With only 10 minutes, you want to skip the “So, um, nice weather” part of the conversation. Don’t be afraid to drop a compliment or two. A feminist friend of mine told me “Say nice things about how they look. It’s sad but true, women eat this up.” And, finally, don’t take any advice from me, I’m terrible at dating. ---
**Author:** ![neisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4bbf92/32.png) [@neisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neisha)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/7 "2005-02-10T20:22:01Z")
> [@Sengkelat](#): > > Be interesting, but more importantly be interested. Ask questions. When someone says “I spent the summer in Paris” it isn’t necessarily time to tell them all about your travels, it’s time to ask them “What did you enjoy most about it?” or somesuch. > And, finally, don’t take any advice from me, I’m terrible at dating. What’s a somesuch? Maybe you’re terrible at dating, because you’re too picky… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/8 "2005-02-10T20:40:59Z")
nothing to add except when I opened IMHO the thread right after this one was **"The Big Bang is a Fake: I Can Prove It"** Carry on 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/9 "2005-02-10T21:45:18Z")
> [@Doctor Jackson](#): > > Wrap up each date with this line: > “Oh, by the way, in the time we’ve been talking I could have had 2 orgasms and fallen asleep.” > Wimmins just love that. I see that’s “Doctor”, short for “Doctor o’ Lovin’”. I’ll keep it in mind 😉 . > [@a35362](#): > > Is this…in aid of the Law School, or somebody’s psych thesis, or what? Are you obligated to go through with this? I think it could be a hoot, but I just wonder how you’re involved. The money is going to some thing or another, but I don’t remember. I’m not in the law school. They’re just organizing it. Our “dates” are supposed to be w/people not in our school (arts & sciences in my case.) I’ll post when I get back. Gotta start primping and steeling myself. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/10 "2005-02-11T02:41:51Z")
Adapt a different fake accent for each encounter. Lends an air of foreign mystery to the proceedings. 😃 Oh, and be yourself. 🙂 Good Luck. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/11 "2005-02-11T03:45:50Z")
I survived. It was fun. I’d be willing to do it again. It was a little frustrating because five minutes really isn’t enough time to figure out if I like someone or not. There were not any fireworks. Not even any sparks. We’ll see what the results are. I shall report back when I know. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/12 "2005-02-11T04:48:27Z")
> [@Ruken](#): > > I survived. It was fun. I’d be willing to do it again. It was a little frustrating because five minutes really isn’t enough time to figure out if I like someone or not. There were not any fireworks. Not even any sparks. We’ll see what the results are. I shall report back when I know. How many “romance” and how many “friendship” were on your list? Haj ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-dating-tonight-advice/289385/13 "2005-02-11T06:10:35Z")
Rusty’s advice: > [@](#): > > Look down, they know you’re lying and up, they know you don’t know the truth. > > Don’t use seven words when four will do. > > Don’t shift your weight, look always at your mark but don’t stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don’t make him laugh. > > He’s got to like you then forget you the moment you’ve left his side. And for God’s sake, whatever you do, don’t, under any circumstances…