# Speed hump? No, thanks, I'll take my time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554 "2006-01-11T21:02:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/1 "2006-01-11T21:02:47Z")
A nearby town has been installing these on some residential streets. They’re lower and less severe than say, a parking lot speed bump. The warning sign before you get to them says “_Speed Hump_”. **Not** “_Caution - Speed Hump_” Every single time I approach one of these, I reply out loud something along the lines of “Gee, I’m kind of in the mood to take my time”, or “No thanks I like it slow and dirty” or something just as witty. My behind the wheel commentary ought to be taped for the Comedy Channel on XM Radio, I tell ya’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2006, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/2 "2006-01-11T21:58:16Z")
We got those signs here in South Florida, and when I first saw one I said to my wife, “Oh, look - here’s a new Olympic event!” ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2006, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/3 "2006-01-11T22:01:00Z")
We have them here in some parts of Chicago. My friend and I call them “quickies.” ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/4 "2006-01-11T22:23:25Z")
Go to the UK. They have signs there that say things like “Hump, Next 3 Miles.”. Hey, good idea 🙂 . ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/5 "2006-01-11T22:28:10Z")
In PA, home of the “Construction Ahead, Single Lane Next 50 Miles” sign, we have signs on said highways advertising an “Emergency Pull Off 1/4 Mile.” I stopped at one and no one showed up. I guess we’re supposed to take care of that ourselves. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/6 "2006-01-11T22:33:11Z")
And if you hit one too hard, you get a ticket… For premature escalation. OK, I got nothin’… ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2006, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/7 "2006-01-11T23:29:22Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > A nearby town has been installing these on some residential streets. They’re lower and less severe than say, a parking lot speed bump. The warning sign before you get to them says “_Speed Hump_”. **Not** “_Caution - Speed Hump_” > > Every single time I approach one of these, I reply out loud something along the lines of “Gee, I’m kind of in the mood to take my time”, or “No thanks I like it slow and dirty” or something just as witty. > > My behind the wheel commentary ought to be taped for the Comedy Channel on XM Radio, I tell ya’. 😃 **Mr Bus Guy** Are these the one’s with a slight ramp at the front and rear with a flat area in-between? Are there any unusual markings leading up to them on the pavement? Any chance of a photo? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/8 "2006-01-12T01:51:11Z")
> [@Nic2004](#): > > **Mr Bus Guy** Are these the one’s with a slight ramp at the front and rear with a flat area in-between? Are there any unusual markings leading up to them on the pavement? Any chance of a photo? They have those too, but they call those speed tables. These are rounded at the top, all one piece. No marking leading up to them, but they have yellow diagonal striping on them. Next time I get by one and have a camera, I’ll try and get one. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/9 "2006-01-12T16:01:37Z")
We have the “speed hump” around town, but I also noticed something different - a sign that says “traffic calming” leading up to a speed bump. They all make me laugh like a silly little girl. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/10 "2006-01-12T16:06:49Z")
They’re frequently referred to as traffic calming here, as well. Then again, South Africa must be the land of speed bumps. On my street, which I’d guess is about a quarter mile, there are four speed bumps, 3 traffic circles, 2 stop signs, and one robot (traffic light). (And a partridge… oh, never mind). But seriously, speed bumps are everywhere. There’s a circle at the corner just in front of my flat, which is poorly painted so that people rarely see it at night until they’re about 20 feet from it, at which point they slam on their brakes. So I don’t know that the things slow people down so much as bring them to very sudden stops. ---
**Author:** ![LionelHutz405](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lionelhutz405/32/536_2.png) [@LionelHutz405](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LionelHutz405)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/11 "2006-01-12T16:14:21Z")
I like those signs on the back of trains that say ‘Do not hump’. I never even thought about it, I swear. And finding out what was really meant when someone referred to Wednesday as ‘hump day’ was rather disappointing. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2006, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/12 "2006-01-12T16:24:01Z")
You sure it didn’t say “Speed, Hump” ? A Sharpie marker could help. ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/13 "2006-01-16T05:48:49Z")
My youngest sister, loving little thing that she was, would always tease her older sister by saying, “Look, they know your name,” whenever we saw the DIP sign near our uncle’s house. I personally like the sign with kids running across the road and SLOW CHILDREN written below. If they’re too slow, I’ll end up with a hood ornament thankyouverymuch. Think of it as evolution in action. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/14 "2006-01-16T05:53:14Z")
Here in San Diego, we have signs announcing “Landscaping Ahead”. I live in fear of finding out what kind of landscaping requires a warning. Oh no, it’s-it’s-- _LANDSCAPING!!!_ ---
**Author:** ![zenith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zenith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zenith)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/15 "2006-01-16T15:56:06Z")
There is a sign at a local school crossing that now reads “Stop When Light Is Flashing”.Originally, the word “light” was not there. Apparently others did as I used to, checked their zippers and said, “Nope, not flashing. No kids waiting to cross, either. Sign doesn’t apply to me.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/16 "2006-01-16T16:04:55Z")
> [@Sleel](#): > > I personally like the sign with kids running across the road and SLOW CHILDREN written below. When I pass those signs, I always think “Those poor retarded kids.” ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/17 "2006-01-16T16:08:29Z")
**Only Mostly Missus** and I just let out great, satisfying groans as well undulate over a residential speed hump. And it really is mean to draw attention to those poor retarded kids. ---
**Author:** ![Seren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@Seren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seren)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/18 "2006-01-16T16:08:42Z")
I saw a sign in England (in Grimsby, I think) that I’ll always remember. **Changed Priorities Ahead.** ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/19 "2006-01-16T16:39:32Z")
We had a “bump ahead” sign on one of our routes. I used to “thunk!” my son on the head like I was testing a melon for ripeness. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/20 "2006-01-16T16:49:03Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > Go to the UK. They have signs there that say things like “Hump, Next 3 Miles.”. Hey, good idea 🙂 . :dubious: I find this unlikely, unless they’re trying to make their tourists from the States feel really, really welcome. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554.md?page=2)