# Speed hump? No, thanks, I'll take my time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554 "2006-01-11T21:02:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/21 "2006-01-16T16:55:53Z")
Outside a farm in the village where I grew up there were two signs. From a certain angle on the road into the village they read: **PICK YOUR OWN** **CHILDREN!** ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2006, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/22 "2006-01-16T17:47:38Z")
My dad and I used to get a chuckle every time we drove past one of those neighborhood watch signs that reads **We Call The Police!** It’s located just outside a cemetary, no houses within 50 yards. “Better watch what you do,” he’d tell me, “those rotting corpses will tell on you!” I gotta get a picture of that one of these days. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_MuD\_PhuD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/2bfe46/32.png) [@Elmer\_MuD\_PhuD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_MuD_PhuD)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/23 "2006-01-17T04:51:39Z")
I had those on the roads around my appartment in Baltimore. Some witless punk changed one of the signs to “Speed Humpty Dumpty.” It still pisses me off that this person went through all the trouble of grafito-tagging public property, but couldnt be bothered to do a good job of it. How about “Speed Hump: $5” or “For a Speedy Hump, Call 555-5555” \< **Brian Regan** \> I saw this sign posted once, it said, “Blasting Zone Ahead”. Wow! Shouldn’t that read, “Road Closed”?!? \ ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/24 "2006-01-17T05:55:58Z")
[This](http://static.flickr.com/27/36343981_2ca4229a28.jpg) is a sign right outside my apartment building. Unfortunately, although I’ve brought out my lawn chair and binoculars, there aren’t often children around. ---
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/25 "2006-01-17T06:14:59Z")
My county doesn’t bother with speed bumps, they just let the roads deteriorate into pot hole minefields. We drive slowly, and think of the money saved on warning signs as well as repairs! **Jellyblue** , whenever I see those Landscaping Ahead signs, I’m always afraid a crew member will come tumbling out of the iceplant and fall in front of my car. Like Falling Rocks. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/26 "2006-01-17T07:47:20Z")
> [@Ashes](#): > > **Jellyblue** , whenever I see those Landscaping Ahead signs, I’m always afraid a crew member will come tumbling out of the iceplant and fall in front of my car. Like Falling Rocks. The MUTANT GIANT KILLER iceplant, you mean? :eek: 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/27 "2006-01-17T08:15:17Z")
> [@Seren](#): > > I saw a sign in England (in Grimsby, I think) that I’ll always remember. > > **Changed Priorities Ahead.** 😕 No kidding! What does this _mean!?_ The only interesting signs I can remember are the ones lining Route 1 in southern Florida on the way to the keys. Despite the fact that the road was long, straight and level, there were few passing zones. So there would be signs informing the driver of an upcoming passing zone miles and miles in advance. My personal favorite was actually a series of one-word signs, one following another, that went something like this: **Patience** **Is** **A** **Virtue** **Next** **Passing** **Zone** **Eleven** **Miles** We really didn’t know how to respond to these signs, so mostly we just laughed. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/28 "2006-01-17T08:31:30Z")
There used to be a good one hanging from the traffic light pole right by the University of Oklahoma in Norman. “Wait for green light.” Yes, aimed at the vehicular traffic. Well, that’s what college is for, learning new things every day. ---
**Author:** ![Seren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@Seren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seren)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/29 "2006-01-17T13:28:41Z")
> [@Grelby](#): > > 😕 No kidding! What does this _mean!?_ I think it’s got something to do with right of way in a roundabout… I thought of another sign in England that I loved. It’s for pedestrians: **Cross only with green man** ---
**Author:** ![Seren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@Seren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seren)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/30 "2006-01-17T13:32:25Z")
Oh, and I also liked the **[No Fouling](http://img1.travelblog.org/Photos/5933/21537/f/99920-No-Fouling-0.jpg)** signs. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingDragonFan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c89c15/32.png) [@FlyingDragonFan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingDragonFan)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/31 "2006-01-17T16:09:39Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > When I pass those signs, I always think “Those poor retarded kids.” It’s okay, they always grow up to get jobs. You know, where the sign says SLOW MEN WORKING.\* \*admittedly stolen from some comedian, maybe Steven Wright. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/32 "2006-01-17T17:02:35Z")
When I was at the city engineering dept., we installed some speed humps and people would accelerate up to them because they were so much fun. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/33 "2006-01-17T17:50:56Z")
On one stretch of road here, there’s a gas station with a yellow warning sign: **Dip In Driveway**. Haven’t managed to spot the fella yet. Just down the road from that is a big sign for a church, “Victoria Harvest Church,” which I somehow always read as “Victoria Harvest Crunch.” I like to think of the toasted, crispy goodness of a Granola Messiah; the Saviour Who Keeps You Regular. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554/34 "2006-01-17T18:05:02Z")
> [@Rodd Hill](#): > > On one stretch of road here, there’s a gas station with a yellow warning sign: > > **Dip In Driveway**. 😃 I think we have a winner! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/speed-hump-no-thanks-ill-take-my-time/339554.md?page=1)