# Spending three tense days with my Ex Wife, my Wife and my Mom. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040 "2013-03-04T20:38:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/1 "2013-03-04T20:38:14Z")
Weeelllllll, this will be interesting. My Ex and my Dearly Beloved™ Wife and my Mom. All packed into an SUV. In San Antonio for my son’s USAF Basic Training Graduation. ( Assuming he makes it through Basic !! ) Mom never liked Ex. Never. Not since Day 1 at the wedding, and even before. I only deal with her now when I have to talk about the kids. And, to be fair, after 23 years of wretched marriage, I have enough kindly thoughts about her family that when I heard her Dad was in the hospital, I did call her up. So it isn’t The War of the Roses over here. But Mom adores my wife. But… it’ll be unpleasant and tense. To save costs, we offered for her to ride around with us. And of course, it eliminates the stupidity of Son having to pick who he spends his precious hours off base with while we’re there. Not the first time my wife and the Ex have spent any time together, but most definitely more time and in more intense and emotionally charged circumstances than ever before. So very excited for The Man-Cub to be completing this huge step in his young life. And so very much dreading to have to maintain an even strain, as they say in the military. Anyone have any tips on how to make this more than just an endurance race? I’d like to come home having had a GOOD time down there… ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/2 "2013-03-04T20:44:51Z")
You are a brave brave stupid man and you deserve everything that’s coming your way for putting yourself in this situation. You poor bastard… :smack:😛 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/3 "2013-03-04T21:26:14Z")
Nowadays I mostly get along with my ex but no way I’d ever do that. Congrats to your son. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/4 "2013-03-04T21:34:15Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > You are a brave brave stupid man and you deserve everything that’s coming your way for putting yourself in this situation. > > You poor bastard… :smack:😛 lolol. Look, I can hardly forbid the Ex from attending. I’ve never trash talked her to my young adult kids. I will be there. She will be there. I might as well try to make it tolerable. Appreciate the sympathies, though !!! ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/5 "2013-03-04T21:36:04Z")
Your son will make it. What career field is he going into? ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/6 "2013-03-04T21:38:39Z")
I was the first wife. My exs parents loved me, hated the new wife. Our son’s graduation was tense, to put it mildly. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she was a witch the whole time I was with them. Ex and I stayed friends and that drove her wild, even though I live in Washington and they live in Florida. So, no advice, just grin and bear it and remember it will be over soon. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/7 "2013-03-04T21:39:57Z")
Going on a road trip with three women is godawful enough but you had to up the ante 100-fold on that already nightmarish situation. It is like the horror version of National Lampoon’s Vacation. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/8 "2013-03-04T21:40:44Z")
Obvious son sneak brag 😉 Congrats! Do Ex and Wife get along? They both (at some point) went for you, so presumably they have something in common… If it gets awkward you could always sing _Ten Green Bottles_ the whole way there. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/9 "2013-03-04T22:03:35Z")
Congrats to your son. The only advice I can give is to focus on him. Also, drink heavily. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/10 "2013-03-04T22:08:49Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > I’d like to come home having had a GOOD time down there… If you can ditch Mom for a while, there could be a threesome opportunity! ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/11 "2013-03-04T22:17:49Z")
> [@Cartooniverse](#): > > Anyone have any tips on how to make this more than just an endurance race? I’d like to come home having had a GOOD time down there… You are going to get sick. Really sick with something that is not contagious, but quite debilitating. Not something that will be long term, but something that will really put you out for a few days. You’ll have to lay low, keep very quiet and avoid any unpleasant discussions. The good news is that I’m sure you’ll perk right up for the graduation, but then will need to rest. Somewhere quiet. Any doctors out there in SDMB land who could predict what **Cartooniverse** might be coming down with? Back spasms maybe? ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/12 "2013-03-04T22:25:28Z")
Hats off to you! I am sure it will be a peak experience, how be it existential in the Kierkegaard aspect. And it is with these peak experiences that we grow intellectually. Please keep us informed. It may be worth publishing. ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/13 "2013-03-04T22:36:59Z")
I’m watching this thread with interest, as we are planning eldest daughter’s wedding. My ex hates me, our children refer to him as a drama queen (in so many words,) my former MIL & SIL apparently think well enough of me that they were disappointed I didn’t visit with the new husband and kids when we were in Louisiana last summer. Luckily, we won’t be hanging out in a vehicle, but the ex is already having fits over name placement in the program and other Super Important Shit. Fortunately, we’ve worked out the finances: I’m paying for the dress\*, the cake, and a couple of hotel suites for the bride and groom to use the weekend of the wedding. Unless I can bribe them with an equal amount of cash to just elope… \*Girl 1.0 and I have found her dress. For $136 plus shipping! She wants me to go ahead and order it and be done. I keep thinking that it couldn’t possibly be that simple, but… Fingers crossed! Told the Girl to go get her grandmother to measure her, and send me the results! Woo! ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/14 "2013-03-04T22:56:57Z")
I have exhibited a lot of poor reading comprehension around here lately, so I apologize if the answer to this is already obvious: just how long is this trip going to take? Hours? Days? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/15 "2013-03-04T23:01:53Z")
Download and play podcasts. This American Life might work so long as you avoid divorce, custody, and general family issues as topics. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/16 "2013-03-04T23:31:52Z")
Anytime things start to get tense, just change the subject to your son. He’s the one topic everyone agrees on. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/17 "2013-03-04T23:46:31Z")
I was predicting doom and gloom when I first read this but then I went back and read a little more slowly. 3 days of short drives around town to events and to visit with your son yes? This is not an hours long road trip? You’ll be fine. Talk to your mother before hand and let her know that she needs to suck it up and pretend she knows nothing about your ex and be as pleasant to her as she would be to a stranger. Keep the topic of conversation on your son and the weather and the current destination and you’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/18 "2013-03-05T01:06:01Z")
Yeah. Mom. Mom’s pretty steamed over how the Ex always treated me. I don’t want to be put in the position of defending my Ex. My Wife and Ex have been fine so far, since my Wife knows a billion times more about my Ex than Ex knows about my Wife. It’ll be 3 full days plus a bit of a 4th. Plenty of time for it either to be okay or wretched. Yes, by all means, focusing on the son. He’s the reason for the trip, his success will be a wonderful thing that will bring tears to my eyes. Ahhhh that kid. **Lacunae Matata** - Yay !! A wedding !! What wedding can come to pass without some dwamah ?? Keep us posted. I do love some wedding stories. 😃 This trip is over a month away. But today I made travel plans, had to discuss and coordinate with Ex, etc. Hence the birth of this thread. Maybe birth is the wrong word here. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/19 "2013-03-05T01:11:03Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Download and play podcasts. This American Life might work so long as you avoid divorce, custody, and general family issues as topics. Heeee !!! " Hi. I’m Ira Glass. This week on This American Life, the filo dough like layered existence of the modern American family. From Bris to Baptismal Font, the front row of life’s experiences gets bigger and bigger with every generation. We’ll be joined today by stable family experts Mackenzie Phillips and John Edwards. " ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040/20 "2013-03-05T01:15:30Z")
One man (you) and… three women who actively dislike/hate each other? In one car? For 3 days? Have I got that right? You’re filming a reality TV show, aren’t you? 😃 😛 Wear earplugs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spending-three-tense-days-with-my-ex-wife-my-wife-and-my-mom/652040.md?page=2)