# Sperm testing: there's an app for that **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2017, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843 "2017-03-23T16:39:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/1 "2017-03-23T16:39:14Z")
You can get a sperm count and mobility analysis, using just a smartphone attachment, a disposable microchip, and an app. The sample is collected in a cup, not directly placed on the phone :eek:. Still, I don’t want to borrow your phone. [http://www.theverge.com/circuitbreaker/2017/3/22/15009960/male-fertility-device-smartphone-app-semen-test](http://www.theverge.com/circuitbreaker/2017/3/22/15009960/male-fertility-device-smartphone-app-semen-test) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/2 "2017-03-23T17:54:45Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > Still, I don’t want to borrow your phone. Just don’t snatch it. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/3 "2017-03-23T19:48:05Z")
I’ll bet you get better motility results from Sprint but higher counts on Boost. Regardless, after the fist time you can no longer use Virgin. And that, my friends, is Straight Talk. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/4 "2017-03-23T19:49:46Z")
“Want to know your motility results? There’s a fap for that!” ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/5 "2017-03-23T19:59:28Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > The sample is collected in a cup, not directly placed on the phone :eek:. There’s over two billion smart phones users with access to the internet. It almost certainly wouldn’t be the first time the “sample” was on the phone…or the millionth. Think about THAT the next time you ask to borrow a phone. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2017, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/6 "2017-03-23T23:25:20Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I’ll bet you get better motility results from Sprint but higher counts on Boost. Regardless, after the fist time you can no longer use Virgin. And that, my friends, is Straight Talk. Heh… fist time. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/7 "2017-03-24T00:45:51Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > “Want to know your motility results? There’s a fap for that!” Tmobile is now replacing the “New Every Two” plan with a “Piss Every Miss” plan. “Oh Geeze, I just read that and my Note 7 just burst into flames. Say, is that Normal?” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2017, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sperm-testing-theres-an-app-for-that/782843/8 "2017-03-24T12:53:02Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Heh… fist time. :😁: How about that - a typo that works as well as the intended word, perhaps better!