# Spider-man is unfanwankable **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comic-books-manga\ **Created:** [December 7, 2021, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669 "2021-12-07T22:12:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/1 "2021-12-07T22:12:09Z")
I don’t know if the current S-M uses the web squirting mechanism, or it’s organic, all I know is that there’s no way for an earthly apparatus to fire a gossamer thin web hundreds of feet through swirling urban air currents and have it adhere consistently to dirty buildings. I don’t think it would be possible for a machine to shoot a strand of web two feet, let alone two blocks like in the movies. He always shoots the web mid-swing, so the muzzle velocity has to be tremendous for it to get to its destination and stick. I was going to go on about his sticking to walls despite wearing gloves and boots, but I’ve ranted enough for now. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/2 "2021-12-07T22:22:47Z")
Comic books are chock-full of powers that wouldn’t work in the real world. Forget it, Jake…it’s Chinatown Marvel. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/3 "2021-12-07T22:40:22Z")
The radioactive spider bite gave him telekinesis and hallucinations. His scientific mindset coupled with immaturity doesn’t allow him to believe that he possesses “magic,” so in his mind he invents a superficially plausible mechanism. In reality he’s just flying around like Superman, pretending to shoot out webs. Same deal with climbing walls. Any footage of Spiderman is only as Spiderman himself is imagining it. Other people play along because they recognize the danger of a mentally unstable boy with these powers. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/4 "2021-12-07T22:44:19Z")
Ok, finally it makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/5 "2021-12-07T22:53:32Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > The radioactive spider bite gave him telekinesis and hallucinations. His scientific mindset coupled with immaturity doesn’t allow him to believe that he possesses “magic,” so in his mind he invents a superficially plausible mechanism. That’s actually not terribly far off from a story line from (IIRC) the early 2000s. The spider that bit Peter Parker was actually sent by the spider god Anansi, who had chosen Peter Parker to be his champion. The spider didn’t give Peter super powers because of the radiation, the spider was magical and would have given him powers no matter what. Not sure how much of that is still canon. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/6 "2021-12-07T23:14:28Z")
You sure that wasn’t that murderous musical? ---
**Author:** ![gdave](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gdave/32/3683_2.png) [@gdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gdave)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/7 "2021-12-07T23:48:09Z")
Back when the _Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe_ was trying to not just catalogue everyone’s powers and abilities but come up with vaguely plausible cod-scientific explanations for them, the explanation for Spider-Man’s web shooters was that they actually projected a viscuous liquid polymer stream that vastly expanded and solidified after contact with air. So he’s shooting a cohesive stream of viscous liquid through those air currents, which then solidifies into stretchy, sticky webbing. I think there may have even have been something about it having non-Newtonian fluid properties in the liquid state. I don’t doubt that for anyone with any real knowledge of materials science or engineering, the above is gibberish, and may make even less sense than the webbing, but it worked well enough for me when I was just old enough and knowledgeable enough to start noticing issues like that. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2021, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/8 "2021-12-07T23:58:19Z")
Okay, I’ll give this a try… First, it’s not “hundreds of feet”, it’s supposedly a maximum of sixty feet, and probably usually a bit less. It’s under pressure within the web fluid cartridges. The web-fluid is (IIRC) a shear-thinning liquid, i.e. it’s virtually solid until a force is applied to it. The nearest real-world analogue to this stuff is nylon. I don’t remember anything about non-Newtonian properties, but it is electrostatically attracted to itself, enabling Spider-Man to form complex shapes like web-shields and web-parachutes with it. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/9 "2021-12-08T00:09:33Z")
Sixty feet is much more realistic for the web, but less realistic for the setting. **Caerostris darwini** , discovered in Madagascar this century, can bridge rivers with webs up to 82 feet long. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/nlRkwuAcUd4/maxresdefault.jpg "Real-Life Spider Shoots Web 25 Metres Long! | The Hunt | BBC Earth") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlRkwuAcUd4) [New York City](https://www.baruch.cuny.edu/nycdata/infrastructure/the_grid.html), on the other hand, has avenues 100 feet wide and streets either 60 or 100 feet wide. Add in the fact that Spider-Man shoots his webs at an angle - remember the hypotenuse is longer than the side of a triangle. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![Max\_S](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@Max\_S](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_S)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/10 "2021-12-08T00:23:34Z")
Here’s an interesting article I think you might appreciate, > **[The Physics of Spider-Man's Webs](https://www.wired.com/2014/04/the-physics-of-spider-mans-webs/)** > > Perhaps the most distinguishing feature of Spider-Man is his ability to shoot webs. But what are all the forces, tensile strengths, and other actions of these webs? Here, we break down the physics behind Spidey's iconic webbing. ~Max ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/11 "2021-12-08T01:16:32Z")
Not in the movies is it limited to sixty feet. He routinely swings from skyscraper to skyscraper, and swings down the street a block at a time. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/12 "2021-12-08T01:33:05Z")
In the 1970s-era cartoon he would literally be swinging above the skyscrapers, attached to God only knows what. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/13 "2021-12-08T01:41:01Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > In the 1970s-era cartoon he would literally be swinging above the skyscrapers, attached to God only knows what Attached to zeppelins. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/14 "2021-12-08T01:47:10Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > In the 1970s-era cartoon he would literally be swinging above the skyscrapers, attached to God only knows what. It’s Spider-Men all the way up. ---
**Author:** ![gdave](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gdave/32/3683_2.png) [@gdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gdave)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/15 "2021-12-08T14:51:05Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > The web-fluid is (IIRC) a shear-thinning liquid, i.e. it’s virtually solid until a force is applied to it. The nearest real-world analogue to this stuff is nylon. Thank you. That’s what I was vaguely remembering (shear-thinning, BTW, is in fact a non-Newtonian fluid behavior). ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/16 "2021-12-08T15:22:25Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I was going to go on about his sticking to walls despite wearing gloves and boots, but I’ve ranted enough for now. He’s not actually sticky, it’s basically a phenomenon similar to the [Van der Waals force](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Van_der_Waals_force). ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/17 "2021-12-08T15:34:11Z")
My answer is that it all boils down to why one watches movies in the first place. I watch movies to escape reality, not to affirm it. When I watch a movie featuring a plethora of characters who have impossible powers and who do impossible things throughout the entire movie, I am in effect surrendering myself to a universe where the impossible is real. Criticizing any one particular thing because it is impossible makes no sense to me. In other words, questioning the viability of the “web squirting mechanism” makes no sense given the overall context. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/18 "2021-12-08T15:47:26Z")
The properties of the webbing don’t even fit into their crazy universe. If they said the web power was bestowed by an advanced alien race, or was magical in nature it would be somewhat more…plausible? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/19 "2021-12-08T16:02:27Z")
The character is old and iconic enough to be grandfathered into any realism requirement, IMO. A new character wouldn’t get away with magic web shooters, but Spidey can. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/20 "2021-12-08T16:07:41Z")
I’ve mentioned it before, (and got a reasonable answer why I was wrong) but I still think Spidey is really a mutant, not a “conventional” superhero, and he should be lumped in with the X-Men (and rounded up, but that’s another story). Sure, he _says_ he was bitten by a radioactive spider, but can anyone prove it? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669.md?page=2)