# Spider-man is unfanwankable **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comic-books-manga\ **Created:** [December 7, 2021, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669 "2021-12-07T22:12:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/21 "2021-12-08T16:08:18Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Sure, he _says_ he was bitten by a radioactive spider, but can anyone prove it? I’m pretty sure Professor X can tell if someone is a mutant or not. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/22 "2021-12-08T16:17:21Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Sure, he _says_ he was bitten by a radioactive spider, but can anyone prove it? Would an origin story lie? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/23 "2021-12-08T16:19:06Z")
God, let’s not turn this into another CRT thread, @Son_of_a_Rich. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/24 "2021-12-08T16:19:28Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Sure, he _says_ he was bitten by a radioactive spider, but can anyone prove it? Likewise, can Professor X prove that his mother wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider while pregnant? ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/25 "2021-12-08T16:22:05Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > CRT I’m strongly against superhero theory taught at any level. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/26 "2021-12-08T16:34:19Z")
Fanwank: Different universe, different physics. Your laws do not apply. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/27 "2021-12-08T16:41:04Z")
That just moves the problem down the road. Why should we care about people from different dimensions? And why is only that law of physics different? Material strength, inertia, basic physics are all different, but HS kids still awkwardly pursue the cute girl and worry about homework? They listen to the exact pop stars as we do? ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/28 "2021-12-08T16:57:05Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Why should we care about people from different dimensions? Couldn’t that be said about essentially any Fantasy or Sci-fi? The Force doesn’t exist, so why should I care about any characters in Star Wars? ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/29 "2021-12-08T17:02:42Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > And why is only that law of physics different? Material strength, inertia, basic physics are all different, but HS kids still awkwardly pursue the cute girl and worry about homework? They listen to the exact pop stars as we do? When you change physics, that’s going to strongly affect whether life comes into existence in that universe. And, likewise, it will affect how that life behaves and interacts with its co-lifeforms. But that’s all probabilities. You’re saying that they _probably_ would not be similar to us, and that is true. They probably wouldn’t look human; they probably wouldn’t have a city named “New York”; they probably wouldn’t speak English; and they probably wouldn’t have the same emotional interactions that we do. If the odds of all of that are 1 in 10^10^10, it doesn’t matter if there are 10^10^10^10^10 universes among the multiverses. The documentarians at Marvel will still have their prime choice of universes to pick from, to choose to cover. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/30 "2021-12-08T17:16:27Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > The documentarians at Marvel will still have their prime choice of universes to pick from, to choose to cover. Can’t argue with that! I did appreciate in _Into the Spiderverse_ that the “prime” universe that the movie occurred in wasn’t our universe. At first I thought they were just “movie-izing” NYC, until I realized. ---
**Author:** ![frognot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frognot/32/8752_2.png) [@frognot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frognot)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/31 "2021-12-08T17:21:29Z")
I figure things like this are JFM (Just Freaking Magic) ---
**Author:** ![gdave](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gdave/32/3683_2.png) [@gdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gdave)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/32 "2021-12-08T17:25:04Z")
What a “mutant” is in the Marvel Universe has fluctuated over the decades. There are storylines where Spider-Man was among the first targets of the Sentinels in the mutant genocide because they considered him a mutant. There were in-universe definitions by which those _born_ with mutated genetics that allowed super-powers were muta **nt** s, while those, like Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four whose genetics were altered after they were born were muta **te** s. Even when the writers remembered that and tried to pay attention to that distinction, different characters in-universe sometimes cared about that distinction and sometimes didn’t. At one point it was official canon (I don’t know if it still is) that mutants by definition all carried the “X-gene”, and Spider-Man didn’t, so by definition he wasn’t a mutant. And then there was the whole weird “That Which Endures” thing, where mutants were…created by? selected by? favored by? something to do with a…quasi-bacterial order of life which was present in all life on Earth but also only present in mutants? Or something? It was weird. So if Spider-Man were part of “That Which Endures” he would be a mutant…I think. Plus there was the whole storyline where Spider-Man was actually the living totem of Anansi the Spider-God, and his powers were all actually derived from a mystical connection, and the spider bite was just Anansi’s method of marking Peter Parker as his Chosen, and the radioactive part had nothing to do with it. I _think_ that’s been retconned away at this point, but I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/33 "2021-12-08T17:43:07Z")
> [@gdave](#): > > There were in-universe definitions by which those _born_ with mutated genetics that allowed super-powers were muta **nt** s, while those, like Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four whose genetics were altered after they were born were muta **te** s. Back in the 1980s, when TSR was publishing the _Marvel Super Heroes_ roleplaying game, they made that exact distinction: - Mutants were born with the genetic changes which gave them superpowers - Altered humans (e.g., Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, the Hulk) were normal humans who gained superpowers when their DNA was altered (often by radiation) after they were born. > [@](#): > > Even when the writers remembered that and tried to pay attention to that distinction, different characters in-universe sometimes cared about that distinction and sometimes didn’t. Yup – sometimes “scary powers” are “scary powers,” and the average in-universe normal person may not care about where those powers came from. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/34 "2021-12-08T17:49:29Z")
> [@gdave](#): > > So he’s shooting a cohesive stream of viscous liquid through those air currents, which then solidifies into stretchy, sticky webbing. He’s a teenage boy, right? I think they all do that. (What?! The OP used the term “wankable”) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/35 "2021-12-08T17:50:27Z")
I wish Marvel hadn’t tried to link everything in the same universe. X-men and Avenger-types (and Blade! Seriously? Vampires in the same universe as Avengers?) should be in their own separate worlds. Alas, they didn’t ask me. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Retzbu\_Tox](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/retzbu_tox/32/11829_2.png) [@Retzbu\_Tox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Retzbu_Tox)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/36 "2021-12-08T17:50:47Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > I’m strongly against superhero theory taught at any level. Ummm… don’t take this class. 😁 [https://cos.gatech.edu/events/physics-and-materials-science-superheroes](https://cos.gatech.edu/events/physics-and-materials-science-superheroes) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/37 "2021-12-08T18:18:01Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I wish Marvel hadn’t tried to link everything in the same universe. X-men and Avenger-types (and Blade! Seriously? Vampires in the same universe as Avengers?) should be in their own separate worlds. One of the founding members of the Avengers is a literal Norse God, and you think vampires don’t fit in with that? Also, the X-Men absolutely have to share a universe with other, non-hated superheroes, otherwise the entire prejudice metaphor falls apart. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/38 "2021-12-08T18:21:20Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Vampires in the same universe as Avengers? Marvel definitely went through a “monster” phase in the late '60s and early '70s, and as a result, we got vampires and the like. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/39 "2021-12-08T18:47:06Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > I’m pretty sure Professor X can tell if someone is a mutant or not. Not me. My mutant power is to not be detected as a mutant by psionic, magical, or technological means. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2021, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669/40 "2021-12-08T19:00:57Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I wish Marvel hadn’t tried to link everything in the same universe. X-men and Avenger-types (and Blade! Seriously? Vampires in the same universe as Avengers?) should be in their own separate worlds. That’s kind of like saying that you wish grass wasn’t green. It has been part of Marvel comics forever. Even _The Avengers_ was a crossover series built from characters from pre-existing comics. Why is it valid to cross over Captain America and Thor, but not Captain America and The X-Men? An explaination that _doesn’t_ include “but the MCU!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spider-man-is-unfanwankable/955669.md?page=3)