# Spit or Swallow? A followup poll TMI? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 29, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070 "2003-03-29T20:44:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/421 "2003-04-14T18:48:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sappho \* > \*\*Davebear - that was unexpected! :o \*\* Tell me about it. ☹ Oh! You meant my _answer._ Well, no worries. What’s our motto; “Fighting ignorance, even at the cost of excruciatingly painful confessions, and possibly our sanity”? 😉 I’m glad it made you feel better about yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/422 "2003-04-14T19:04:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > **I was thinking in terms of an established relationship, but in an all or nothing type situation.** Ah! In an all-or-nothing situation, I would probably choose nothing, most of the time. > [@](#): > > \*\* Well, there ya go. There’s alot of us to choose from.;)😃 \*\* Well, yes, there are. But, you/they are also the least likely to be interested, at this point. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/423 "2003-04-14T19:10:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flybynight \* > \*\*… sucks to be you I guess 😃 \*\* Some days, that is _so_ true. 😉 > [@](#): > > \*\*Still, there’s always a difference between perceived or “officially socially approved” attitudes towards things and what people \* really \* enjoy doing behind closed doors… besides, most people in this thread seem not to be of the current MTV generation, and they don’t seem to have many problems with it. 🙂 \*\* Very true. But, I had firsthand knowledge that the attitude was real, in this case. And, I’d guess that a lot of the ladies here are “tweeners”; people who are neither one generation, nor the next, but somewhere betwixt and between. ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/424 "2003-04-14T19:20:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Well, yes, there are. But, you/they are also the least likely to be interested, at this point. :rolleyes: \*\* Why? ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/425 "2003-04-14T22:24:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > \*\*Why? \*\* Well, for the above mentioned reason, which I really wish we could stop discussing, if nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![Sappho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sappho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sappho)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/426 "2003-04-14T22:47:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Well, for the above mentioned reason, which I really wish we could stop discussing, if nothing else. \*\* I’m sorry. Bartender - would you have a drink on me? Pretty please? Was this part of the reason you started the thread? (don’t answer if you’d rather not talk about it anymore) ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/427 "2003-04-14T22:48:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Well, for the above mentioned reason, which I really wish we could stop discussing, if nothing else. \*\* **Davebear** … I refer you to my post concering “its all about the journey”… doesn’t really matter if you don’t finish up there, least you enjoy it and then do something else to reach your final outcome… I mean… the choice between one BJ and wham bam its over… or a night of lustful pleasure doing anything and everything until you release those lovely cupids!!! Door No. 2 for me - mostly cos I know I’d have been going and going and going for ages and enjoying every second of it 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/428 "2003-04-14T23:38:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Well, for the above mentioned reason, which I really wish we could stop discussing, if nothing else. \*\* I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again. Except to say this one last thing…it wouldn’t matter to me. I can’t speak for any of the other women in this thread, but it wouldn’t matter to me. Ok, I’m done. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/429 "2003-04-15T02:27:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sappho \* > \*\*Was this part of the reason you started the thread? (don’t answer if you’d rather not talk about it anymore) \*\* Aaa[SIZE=3]aaarrrrgh![/SIZE] Sorry. I feel better, now. No. I actually had no idea I was such a freak, until recently. I spun this off of another sex-related thread, because I enjoy sex, including oral sex (well, I used to), people seem to like talking about it, and it’s fun (usually) to discuss. No connection, at all. BTW, don’t feel badly. You asked a perfectly innocent (well, sort of) question. You couldn’t know it would affect me this way, and I don’t harbor any anger or ill will towards you. You had the right to ask, and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to do so. I had the right to not answer, if I so chose. If I’m having trouble dealing with the repercussions of my decision, that’s entirely my problem. So, thank you for the drink. Would you join me? ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/430 "2003-04-15T03:05:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney \* > \*\ ***Davebear** … I refer you to my post concering “its all about the journey”… doesn’t really matter if you don’t finish up there, least you enjoy it and then do something else to reach your final outcome… > > I mean… the choice between one BJ and wham bam its over… or a night of lustful pleasure doing anything and everything until you release those lovely cupids!!! > > Door No. 2 for me - mostly cos I know I’d have been going and going and going for ages and enjoying every second of it 😃 \*\* Umm…okay. I don’t know what most of that means (I’ve been torturing my inner poet, again, and now he’s sulking and won’t translate for me.), but I accept that you’re trying to make me feel better. So, thank you. 🙂 I agree with the “journey” sentiment. And, normally, this limitation I have is not an issue. Even before the ten year drought began, I didn’t think it was. I’ve never cared, much, because there were so many other wonderful things that could be done. But, as **Branwen** reminded me, it can be an issue, which is mildly depressing. And, now I know that I have the potential to traumatize women, which is horrifying, even if it’s a very limited potential, under the circumstances. And, I don’t know if I have, in the past. ☹ _Carol! Open Door #2, and show our contestant what she’s won! Oh! It’s a six months supply of Jiffy Time popcorn, and a garden rake. Oh, too bad!_ 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > \*\*I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again. > > Except to say this one last thing…it wouldn’t matter to me. I can’t speak for any of the other women in this thread, but it wouldn’t matter to me. > > Ok, I’m done.\*\* {{{{ **Branwen** }}}} I’m sorry I snapped at you. I know you were only trying to understand, and to help. You’re such a sweet lady. Can I still talk to your tummy? Oh, wait! Wrong thread. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/431 "2003-04-15T03:13:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\* **Branwen** reminded me, it can be an issue, which is mildly depressing. \*\* Is this my fault? Oh god, I am so sorry. I’m not quite sure what I said, but I never had any intentions of hurting you. Please accept my apologies.☹ \*\* > [@](#): > > {{{{ **Branwen** }}}} I’m sorry I snapped at you. I know you were only trying to understand, and to help. You’re such a sweet lady. Can I still talk to your tummy? Oh, wait! Wrong thread. 😉 \*\* You can talk to my tummy anytime you want.😉 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/432 "2003-04-15T07:50:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flight \* > \*\*Different guys respond differently to different women. It has always taken me much longer to finish from a blowjob, but it will happen. Unfortunately that requires either extreme skill or perseverance on the part of the GF. Even if you are not going to finish, be assured we still like it. I have gotten far fewer BJs than I would like, simply due to the GFs feeling like they were less competent because they could finish me off. If things aren’t going to end, then stop when you get too tired. If you don’t get tired, we don’t mind it going all night.😉 \*\* I don’t think any guys are freaks because of this, but (and I bet I’m not alone in this) we girls feel as if WE are the freaks because we’re not “getting the job done properly”. I adore doing this for my boyfriend and were it not for blowlock (you know, that form of lockjaw that comes from giving extended BJs which results in jaws locking into place, becoming numb and refusing to operate correctly?), I’d do it as long as it took. I’m not vastly experienced when it comes to a large number of men for whom I’ve done this (only 4 in my entire life), but all 4 of those relationships were long term (over 4 years in length and the last one being nearly 7 years, so far), but I feel that what I lack in quantity, I make up for in long term practice, so I’m pretty sure I’m doing it “right”. It just seems to take longer to get the guy there than with just “plain” lovemaking. But it has never occurred to me to think there is something wrong with the MAN, I always just thought I wasn’t doing it just the right way to get the ultimate result. ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/433 "2003-04-15T08:17:38Z")
**Davebear** what I so poorly was trying to get across is not to freak out about this - like you said, there is a ton of other fun stuff to do so don’t give your pretty little head (hmmmmmmm big one or lil one??? :p) a second thought… And what I was also poorly trying to say is that, if it were me, I would be thinking oh ok lets try something else - and then something else and something else - in other words, the BJ is not the be all and end all, its merely part of a fun, exciting and very sexy session of debauchery and boldness - and I, for one, vote for debauchery and boldness every time. So don’t get hung up on what you may have made people think or not - just that a BJ is part of the whole fantastic wonderful experience, not a goal in itself. Was that a bit clearer (cos I still haven’t had my coffee this morning and my neck is agony again so I’ll excuse myself if it isn’t!) And I’m gonna sneak in a {{{{{ hugggggg }}}}}}} for you too (cos I do smell good this morning :D). ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/434 "2003-04-15T11:27:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > \*\*Is this my fault? Oh god, I am so sorry. I’m not quite sure what I said, but I never had any intentions of hurting you. Please accept my apologies.☹ \*\* I _knew_ I shouldn’t have said that. {{{{{{{{ **Branwen** }}}}}}}} I didn’t mean it was your fault, and **it isn’t**. No apology necessary. I overanalyze things, all the time. It is a useful trait, at work, but it can be a real bugger, outside work. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CanvasShoes_ > **…we girls feel as if WE are the freaks because we’re not “getting the job done properly”…** Well, I hope you understand, now, that it isn’t you. 🙂 At least, that much good should come from this. That’s why I answered the question, in the first place. You ladies carry enough burdens for us men. You shouldn’t have to carry this one. And, I’m sorry about your leg, and that Luke isn’t his usual amorous self. So…how YOU doin’? 😉 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney_ > **…Was that a bit clearer …my neck is agony again … And I’m gonna sneak in a {{{{{ hugggggg }}}}}}} for you too (cos I do smell good this morning ).** Yes, that was clearer. Thanks 🙂 And, I agree. I’d offer you a neck rub, if you thought it would help? {{{{ **RH** }}}} _sniiiiiiifffff_ mmmmmm…yummy girl! 🙂 So, let me recap this mess, so we can put it behind us, and move on. 1. If you can’t get the guy to come, orally, it’s almost certainly not your fault. It could be medical, circumstantial, or emotional, but it’s almost guaranteed to be him, not you. You are not freaks, you are wonderful, giving ladies. 2. If you’re in a situation where oral is the only option, he should know that. So, if he chooses to let you do it, and he doesn’t come, that’s his problem. Just know he _did_ enjoy it, and is (should be) grateful. 3. My reaction is neither **Sappho** ’s nor **Branwen** ’s fault. **Sappho** seems like a very nice lady, and **Branwen** is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, here or elsewhere. And, I really hope neither of them feel badly for anything they said, and I apologize if anything I said made them feel badly. 4. I’ve been told I shouldn’t post separate replies to multiple people in one go, which is why I’m posting this way. I hope no one feels slighted. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/435 "2003-04-16T01:29:13Z")
Ya’ know, when this place was booming, I could barely keep up. And, I actually wished it would slow down, some. Now that it’s gone dead, though I miss it. Nothing sadder than a bar inhabited only by the ghostly echoes of laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/436 "2003-04-16T06:45:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Ya’ know, when this place was booming, I could barely keep up. And, I actually wished it would slow down, some. Now that it’s gone dead, though I miss it. Nothing sadder than a bar inhabited only by the ghostly echoes of laughter. \*\* Nah, not completely empty.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/437 "2003-04-16T09:56:47Z")
I was just thinking that Dave… perhaps time to start another themed bar??? ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/438 "2003-04-16T11:49:15Z")
Ah! Two of my best customers (and friends). 🙂 Got any ideas for the next theme? ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/439 "2003-04-16T12:41:19Z")
Favourite fantasy? Am sure its been done though… I did the biting thing so its not my turn _takes a step back from the line_ 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/440 "2003-04-16T12:42:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Ah! Two of my best customers… \*\* _Gulp_ you mean you charge :eek: :eek: Expects the bill in the mail 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070.md?page=23)