# Spit or Swallow? A followup poll TMI? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 29, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070 "2003-03-29T20:44:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 45
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/881 "2003-05-12T23:15:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dolores Claiborne \* > \*\*What a wonderful weekend. Even if I do have a sunburn! \*\* Good for you! That _does_ sound wonderful. Aside from the sunburn. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\* LOL I don’t think this pub will ever close. To answer the question it’s a happy time at my house since dh got the all clear from his dr (had the big V about 6 weeks ago). \*\* Well, I hope it doesn’t close. “dh”? Designated Husband? Maybe I should get that done. It’s not like I’m likely to need to use it for the next 6 weeks. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\* Simple Dreamer, I think it is just a knee jerk male reaction to anything to do with their “package” 🙂 \*\* Yes. Quite literally. It makes our knees jerk together. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/882 "2003-05-12T23:55:29Z")
Well it was only fair since after having 3 boys (with pretty much no meds) that he get “fixed” since we didn’t want any more. **Davebear** Dh= and appropropreat “d” word (dear, etc) and yes, the “h” = husband. **tanookie** Lots of hugs to you… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/883 "2003-05-12T23:57:13Z")
:o and up there should be an… oops.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/884 "2003-05-13T01:47:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by //\etalhea|) \* > \*\* > So, if I post a pic of the real //\etal, what do I get? \*\* I don’t know metal man…what are you asking for?.. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/885 "2003-05-13T11:30:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*Well it was only fair since after having 3 boys (with pretty much no meds) that he get “fixed” since we didn’t want any more. \*\* I’m not sure I see how “fair” enters into it, but I think it’s a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/886 "2003-05-13T12:09:08Z")
Well since she said she had no meds… and contractions feel a lot like someone whacking you with a bat across your lower back every 30 seconds or so. And I can only imagine what actually squishing munchkins out the play-doh fun factory of life feels like (as we never managed to get that far ourselves … crooked baby) I think a couple small snips for him and a couple days of discomfort is only fair! Parallax and I had a bargain. If this one came naturally he’d get a vasectomy. Since it will be a c section and they are already in there I’m getting a tubal. Personally I think he should have had to carry one of the kids but something about mother nature and all that crud meant I get to do both. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/887 "2003-05-13T13:27:13Z")
Just my opinon - my ex had it done and a coupe of days later he was up and running around. Not quite like 9 months of sickness, bloat, teetering around like a weeble, contractions and squishing out a 9 pounder WITHOUT DRUGS…you guys have no frickin’ idea - reeeeeally. I am the last one to be a man basher but you are way to sensitive about your jewels. Now if something from inside of you ripped them open and THEN they were stitched up? I might agree - try it. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/888 "2003-05-13T13:33:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > And, Amen! on that backside! Are you another guy who preferred Bailey to Jennifer? (It _was_ Jennifer, wasn’t it? I haven’t actually seen the show in years.) Yes, I did. Jennifer always seemed too high-class, unapproachable, out-of-my-league, while Bailey was more down-to-earth. I always felt Bailey would have enjoyed going to an Grateful Dead concert in a beatup old pickup truck, while Jennifer, dressed in furs, needed to be taken to Milan for dinner by private jet. Gee, this is almost as bad as fantasizing about hot cartoon characters. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/889 "2003-05-13T13:47:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > **Musicat** , did y’all get storms there last night? Those storms, as often happens, can be VERY localized. Right here, nothing but a few drops of rain fell, but a friend about 10 miles away reported a gullywasher that carved her a new pond in the front yard. I have a [Daily Weather Observation and picture](http://doorbell.net/tlr#dailyquote) on one of my websites, if you care. Basically, when I sit down to the computer in the AM, I look out the window, check the thermometer, and write a one-line description of it. The webcam pic is updated at least once a day, more if the cam takes an interesting one. But that’s another thread, as I hijacked this one to answer **Branwen’s** question. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/890 "2003-05-13T23:06:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Musicat \* > \*\*Yes, I did. Jennifer always seemed too high-class, unapproachable, out-of-my-league, while Bailey was more down-to-earth. I always felt Bailey would have enjoyed going to an Grateful Dead concert in a beatup old pickup truck, while Jennifer, dressed in furs, needed to be taken to Milan for dinner by private jet. > > Gee, this is almost as bad as fantasizing about hot cartoon characters. \*\* Glad you’re back. Now, maybe the ladies will stop beating me up for agreeing with them. I agree with your assessment of Bailey, but we differ a bit on Jennifer. She always struck me as extremely obnoxious, and NO class. Trading on her boobage for monetary gain…there’s a name for that. But, you’re right. They’ll be moving this thread to Cafe Society, if we keep this up. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/891 "2003-05-14T00:09:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*I don’t know metal man…what are you asking for?.. \*\* Just a little tit for tat… ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/892 "2003-05-14T11:38:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by //\etalhea|) \* > \*\*Just a little tit for tat… \*\* Kinda sounds like a perverse version of the Christmas charity drive; Little Tits for Tots! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/893 "2003-05-14T16:03:17Z")
Who says they are little? ---
**Author:** ![Rapunzel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Rapunzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rapunzel)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/894 "2003-05-14T16:37:39Z")
What am amazing thread! FWIW this is my take on the question from a newbie. There are 2 ways of looking at it. 1. You approach the whole thing as a chore, merely something to be endured to keep someone happy. You get nothing out of it yourself. If this is the case I’d suggest it’s irrelevant if you spit or swallow. You’ve already on some level communicated your feelings to your partner. I’m not saying he _won’t_ enjoy it - not at all - but he will know the difference and I doubt you’ll be going down (see what I did there) as a memorable experience. No gold stars for the wall chart. 2. Alternatively you could view it as an act of love and /ideally an art form, which is mutually pleasurable. Read as much as you can lay your hands on about the subject. Revise as if you’re taking exams! Practise a lot. After all this, the question of whether to won’t even cross your mind, and you’ll be remembered, hopefully, ever fondly after, as well as getting a lot out of it yourself. Can I put a happy rabbi in here? I’m going to anyway. ;j ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/895 "2003-05-14T17:25:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Who says they are little? \*\* You forget…the Davebear knows all, in these matters! 😉 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rapunzel \* > **What am amazing thread!** Thank you! And, if you read the entire thing, you’re pretty amazing, yourself. > [@](#): > > **FWIW this is my take on the question from a newbie.** Welcome to the SnS Pub (and the board)! 🙂 Nice hair, by the way. > [@](#): > > \*\*There are 2 ways of looking at it. > > 1. You approach the whole thing as a chore, merely something to be endured to keep someone happy. You get nothing out of it yourself. If this is the case I’d suggest it’s irrelevant if you spit or swallow. You’ve already on some level communicated your feelings to your partner. I’m not saying he _won’t_ enjoy it - not at all - but he will know the difference and I doubt you’ll be going down (see what I did there) as a memorable experience. No gold stars for the wall chart. > > 2. Alternatively you could view it as an act of love and /ideally an art form, which is mutually pleasurable. Read as much as you can lay your hands on about the subject. Revise as if you’re taking exams! Practise a lot. After all this, the question of whether to won’t even cross your mind, and you’ll be remembered, hopefully, ever fondly after, as well as getting a lot out of it yourself.\*\* Umm…yeah…phew! Someone turn up the AC, would ya’? I’d say you’re absolutely right, about the first point. I think I said, at some point…probably a month ago…that, if the lady doesn’t want to do it, I don’t enjoy either. Although, I’d probably tolerate it, at this point. 😃 As for the second point, ummm…where can I find one of these artists? > [@](#): > > \*\*Can I put a happy rabbi in here? I’m going to anyway. > \*\* Well, you can, but he probably won’t like it, much. 😛 Oops! See? He’s left, already. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/896 "2003-05-14T17:36:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*You forget…the Davebear knows all, in these matters! 😉 > \*\* Speak for your own small body parts Dave. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/897 "2003-05-14T22:55:52Z")
_blows a kiss to **mipiace** _ Love you , too, Mia 😃 _makes sure he has a clear path to the door_ ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/898 "2003-05-15T08:14:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by //\etalhea|) \* > So, am I the only one who got laid? Details people, details! How bout a question **//\etalhea|)**? For everyone that is, off topic, sort of, it’s still about sex. I’ve mooned on in a few threads about my current boyfriend and I deciding to call it quits (why? to keep it short and as uncomplicated as possible, he needs to “find himself” he’s not even sure what he wants or why himself). Anyway, we’ll be staying in the same house until we both get a few things straightened out financially and living quarters-wise. I don’t want to leave, but I know I need to “set him free” so he can set his mind at ease on this “thing” he has. But I still love him and want him, and he loves me too. I would jump his bones in a heart beat, but I don’t want to make things worse, or be foolish. Part of me says “hey, love him while you still have him”. And part of me says “what??? are you nuts? that would just hurt more”. What would YOU all do? Make love to him (or her, OR him,YOU know what I mean:) ), or keep your distance? (Keep in mind that there is no anger, bitterness, or blaming between us, we started as best friends, and are ending as such). ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/899 "2003-05-15T08:25:24Z")
If I can butt in, I know how you still feel about him and I think maybe you’ll feel worse if you do jump him. It won’t just be about sex for you - it’ll be all your emotions and feelings and everything. You may ask yourself - hell he can give me this but not his heart??? Does that make sense? ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2003, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/900 "2003-05-15T10:32:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > **Part of me says “hey, love him while you still have him”. And part of me says “what??? are you nuts? that would just hurt more”.** I’d have to agree with the second part of you. If you still love him, and haven’t accepted the separation, it would probably just make the pain more intense. It doesn’t sound like you’ve really accepted the separation. You’ve accepted that it’s going to happen, but not that it’s the right thing. I can’t say whether it _is_ the right thing, or not. But, as long as you’re against the idea, I think making love to him would only tear you up even worse than you already are. I’ve been in a similar situation, myself, and found that making love to the lady, with whom I was still in love and who still loved me, wonderful as it was while we were doing it, left me a complete emotional wreck, afterwards. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Honeydew \* > \*\*If I can butt in, I know how you still feel about him and I think maybe you’ll feel worse if you do jump him. It won’t just be about sex for you - it’ll be all your emotions and feelings and everything. \*\* You’re not butting in. She asked the regulars, and that means you, as much as anyone. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070.md?page=44) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070.md?page=46)