# Spit or Swallow? A followup poll TMI? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 29, 2003, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070 "2003-03-29T20:44:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 49
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/961 "2003-05-17T22:38:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*Come on Dave… you saying you don’t like it heavy and dirty once in awhile? \*\* Sex? Yes. I just really, really don’t like that song. It’s vile and dehumanizing and creepy, and I don’t understand why all you women like it. If liking that crap is what it takes to get laid, these days, I guess I’ll just have to shoot myself. Or, stick a nine inch nail through each eardrum. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by waddamaroon \* > \*\*Uh, traumatic isn’t the word. What is the word??? Memorable, yeah that’s the word. Memorable. Best ever, second place isn’t close. > This girl relished giving or getting oral sex. Because of her religion, she had serious guilt issues involving intercourse. Major league quality BJ’s were here method of compensating. (How’s that for some armchair psychology?) > > The Jimmy Buffet angle comes into play as that was our first date. We saw him and the Eagles in July '77. And as I said earlier, “A1A” was on the turntable as she delivered the bad news. \*\* D’oh! :smack: Now, I get it! Sorry. Little slow on the uptake, this morning, I guess. My second wife had major guilt issues about sex (which she conveniently kept under control until after we were married), but she didn’t compensate for them, unfortunately. That was one of the major contributing factors in my decision to leave. The other being, I never saw her. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/962 "2003-05-17T23:05:52Z")
I guess it’s the beat… I can pretty much mute out the words… but love a good hard beat in the background. ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/963 "2003-05-18T01:37:20Z")
I never heard this Closer song… Dave can you forward me those lyrics… am interested in it now. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/964 "2003-05-18T02:53:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Honeydew \* > \*\*I never heard this Closer song… Dave can you forward me those lyrics… am interested in it now. \*\* Done. ---
**Author:** ![tolyri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@tolyri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tolyri)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/965 "2003-05-18T05:40:18Z")
I’m a spitter. I like to pull away (leaves something for later) and spit under the pillow. No wet spot, no running to the bathroom. It’s also a great “husband material test.” If the area under the pillow is still stiff the next week, he doesn’t do laundry and probably won’t do dishes either. If there’s two stiff spots, ask him who Jennifer is. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/966 "2003-05-18T05:53:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*Ok, ya’ll I just listened to NIN’s Closer… Whoa! Anymore suggestions for songs like that. Sometimes a girl likes hard pounding dirty songs… \*\* “Those Shoes”. IMNSHO it’s the best song the Eagles have. It’s sexy like the “Closer” song, but more subtle and has an interesting bass beat too. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/967 "2003-05-18T05:59:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Sex? Yes. I just really, really don’t like that song. It’s vile and dehumanizing and creepy, and I don’t understand why all you women like it. If liking that crap is what it takes to get laid, these days, I guess I’ll just have to shoot myself. Or, stick a nine inch nail through each eardrum. \*\* Silly boy. Yes, we realize that, but like any other fantasy, you don’t think that women REALLY want to be dehumanized do you? It’s the idea of giving it to that extent that makes it sexy. Of course a man who makes it safe to fantasize in that way would be required. A rape fantasy isn’t about a women actually wanting to be raped. It’s about a woman getting turned on that she and her sexy body have such a sexual hold on the man that he “can’t” control himself and HAS to have her. (forget the freudian version that she wants to have someone else take responsibility for her orgasm. Freud was a dirty old man living in a repressed era and was jealous of women because he couldn’t get any. The above is the REAL reason). ---
**Author:** ![Honeydew\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e19b73/32.png) [@Honeydew\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honeydew_1)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/968 "2003-05-18T09:47:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Done. \*\* Thanks hon, got em… not too sure I liked them though… maybe they sound better when you hear the song? Sometimes, ignorance is bliss lol… ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/969 "2003-05-18T12:22:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tolyri \* > \*\*I’m a spitter. I like to pull away (leaves something for later) and spit under the pillow. No wet spot, no running to the bathroom. It’s also a great “husband material test.” If the area under the pillow is still stiff the next week, he doesn’t do laundry and probably won’t do dishes either. If there’s two stiff spots, ask him who Jennifer is. \*\* Hi **tolyri**. Welcome to the Pub! I’m honored that someone who’s only posted 64 times in two and a half years would choose to post to my thread. 🙂 If you happen to cruise on back, can you explain the “leaves something for later” statement? I don’t get it. If he’s already come, he’s already come, whether you spit or swallow. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Silly boy. Yes, we realize that, but like any other fantasy, you don’t think that women REALLY want to be dehumanized do you? It’s the idea of giving it to that extent that makes it sexy. > > Of course a man who makes it safe to fantasize in that way would be required. > > A rape fantasy isn’t about a women actually wanting to be raped. It’s about a woman getting turned on that she and her sexy body have such a sexual hold on the man that he “can’t” control himself and HAS to have her. \*\* Well, I don’t claim to know anything about Mr Reznor, but he sounds awfully convincing, to me, when he does that song. It makes me feel like I’ve fallen through a hole, into a cess pit. And, no, I’m sure most women _don’t_ want to be deumanized. That’s why I don’t understand the song’s appeal. (Well, that and it’s about the ugliest song I’ve ever heard.) It dehumanizes the entire human race. But, you’re saying the appeal, to women, is based on rape fantasy? Okay. That I can understand. I don’t understand how listening to it outside of a sexual situation could make someone happy, though. Unless there are enough positive memories associated with it to override the grotesque ugliness of the song, itself. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Honeydew \* > \*\*Thanks hon, got em… not too sure I liked them though… maybe they sound better when you hear the song? > > Sometimes, ignorance is bliss lol… \*\* I think they sound worse, when you hear them. But, that seems to be just me, so far. I’ll be interested to hear your opinion, once you’ve heard it. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/970 "2003-05-18T12:39:42Z")
Honeydew… Most songs work better with the music attached. Simple Dreamer… try #1 crush by garbage 🙂 Tolyri that’s kinda gross. Besides, there are never any pillows left on the bed to hide things under in our house! Dave I don’t think that’s necessarily what it takes to get laid. I would like to think people make their decisions on something more profound than one’s musical taste du jour. Ya know… also, it’s funny because I don’t take any of NIN’s stuff personally. That said you know what songs really miffs me with their messages about women? That stupid george harrison song “I got my mind set on you” All the ranting about all the money and time he’s gonna need to get this girl. And Billy Joel’s “she’s always a woman” I mean really she’s a thief and a liar, a fickle tease and she hacks the guy and laughs at him. Oooh so romantic… she’s psychotic billy! “but it’s ok because she’s always a woman to me” Sounds too much like my mother making excuses for my little brother. I do like what Canvasshoes said about fantasy. Especially the part about a partner who makes you feel safe. I’ve only felt safe with one person in my life. If you knew me well I’m a pretty strange person. In my public life I’m probably a lot more prudish than you would expect. Dave has alluded to that earlier in this thread somewhere I think… Yet here I am in the SnS pub airing my sex life for a bunch of strangers. Also I’ve learned to like sex… but only with him. If somehow we were no longer married I’d probably never have sex again and I wouldn’t care at all. **_warning_ do not read any further if you don’t really want TMI (and not in a fun flirty way)**\* Trust me I know all about what it means to be demeaned, dehumanized and raped. If this is really the fantasy a girl has then she has come to honestly believe all the bad things some moron has said/done to her. I was raised that a woman’s job is to please her husband and to be subservient to him in every way. I was told repeatedly that all women are just money grubbing bitches. I was badgered to never “use sex as a weapon.” All this advice came from my dear old dad who decided somewhere around preschool that I was his property as his daughter (only male children have any value) and therefore he took any sexual liberty he wanted with me. As I grew older his little fantasies grew sicker and meaner. I also got the lovely tasks of laundry, cleaning, cooking, raising my brother, grocery shopping, balancing the checkbook, and keeping my father’s many girlfriends secret from eachother and my mother. Yay me. Somehow I married the antithesis of my father 🙂 (Just in case you wondered if there is a happy ending) * * * Ok back to the regularly scheduled thread… and stop looking at me like that! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/971 "2003-05-18T13:30:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\* Dave I don’t think that’s necessarily what it takes to get laid. I would like to think people make their decisions on something more profound than one’s musical taste du jour. \*\* I’d like to believe that, too, but I’ve seen no evidence of it. Especially listening to the young kids, at work, talking about their weekends. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*Ya know… also, it’s funny because I don’t take any of NIN’s stuff personally. That said you know what songs really miffs me with their messages about women? That stupid george harrison song “I got my mind set on you” All the ranting about all the money and time he’s gonna need to get this girl. And Billy Joel’s “she’s always a woman” I mean really she’s a thief and a liar, a fickle tease and she hacks the guy and laughs at him. Oooh so romantic… she’s psychotic billy! “but it’s ok because she’s always a woman to me” Sounds too much like my mother making excuses for my little brother. \*\* Well, I agree Harrison’s song is stupid, but at least it’s upbeat, and he’s not _trying_ to make anyone feel bad. And, I get the feeling Reznor _is_. And, that Billy Joel song is just pathetic, I agree. **{{{{{{tanookie}}}}}}** ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/972 "2003-05-18T14:59:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by flybynight \* > \*\* but I’m hoping she’ll change her mind when she sees me and is reminded of how good-looking I am 😉 (just ask **Branwen** , she’ll back me up, I think…). \*\* I maybe would’ve, until I found out that I’m a hideous midwestern girl.😛 ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/973 "2003-05-18T15:04:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Sex? Yes. I just really, really don’t like that song. It’s vile and dehumanizing and creepy, and I don’t understand why all you women like it. If liking that crap is what it takes to get laid, these days, I guess I’ll just have to shoot myself. Or, stick a nine inch nail through each eardrum. \*\* I’m a woman who doesn’t like that song. It always makes me uncomfortable enough that I have to change the station. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/974 "2003-05-18T19:21:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Branwen \* > \*\*I’m a woman who doesn’t like that song. It always makes me uncomfortable enough that I have to change the station. \*\* Well, yeah. But…I hear you’re a “hideous midwestern girl”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Branwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@Branwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Branwen)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/975 "2003-05-18T21:28:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Well, yeah. But…I hear you’re a “hideous midwestern girl”. 😃 \*\* Yeah, last I heard. I think I’m starting to get a complex. I mean, being unattractive is bad enough, but _hideous_? Wow. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/976 "2003-05-18T22:54:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > Dave I don’t think that’s necessarily what it takes to get laid. I would like to think people make their decisions on something more profound than one’s musical taste du jour. No not at ALL **Dave** , sorry I missed you saying that that’s what it might take to get laid. See, the man in the song is as demeaning to his position in this as he is to the woman. It’s kindof a “get down to the basic reptilian brain f\*\*k”. Not something that would be done “to get laid” or on a constant basis. And certainly not for real. > [@](#): > > Ya know… also, it’s funny because I don’t take any of NIN’s stuff personally. That said you know what songs really miffs me with their messages about women? That stupid george harrison song “I got my mind set on you” All the ranting about all the money and time he’s gonna need to get this girl. And Billy Joel’s “she’s always a woman” I mean really she’s a thief and a liar, a fickle tease and she hacks the guy and laughs at him. Oooh so romantic… she’s psychotic billy! “but it’s ok because she’s always a woman to me” Sounds too much like my mother making excuses for my little brother. GOOD POINT **tanookie**!!! There are so many “nice” songs that are MUCH more demeaning to women. Take Tom Jones’s “She’s a Lady” GOD!! You can’t get much more sexist and demeaning than that. Another one that just makes me see red is The Doors’ “Light My Fire”. Hey Dude!! Light MY Fire!! The whole song is basically a rant that he isn’t turned on enough yet, and for the woman to “light his fire”. PAH!!! Next to some of those, Closer’s lyrics don’t seem all that bad. ---
**Author:** ![tag](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f14d63/32.png) [@tag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tag)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/977 "2003-05-19T00:23:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Would this be a good time to ask you to email me? I have something I’d like to ask you. I’ll see what I can do about that 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/978 "2003-05-19T00:32:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > **No not at ALL Dave, sorry I missed you saying that that’s what it might take to get laid. See, the man in the song is as demeaning to his position in this as he is to the woman. It’s kindof a "get down to the basic reptilian brain f** k". Not something that would be done “to get laid” or on a constant basis. > > And certainly not for real. \*\* But, you guys were all promoting it as the way to get women hot and naked. I guess I’m getting confused. But, I did get the fact that it’s also demeaning the man in the song. That doesn’t make it any better, IMO. > [@](#): > > **Take Tom Jones’s “She’s a Lady” GOD!! You can’t get much more sexist and demeaning than that.** Okay, Tom is definitely a sexist. But, what’s wrong with saying a woman is a lady? > [@](#): > > **Another one that just makes me see red is The Doors’ “Light My Fire”. Hey Dude!! Light MY Fire!! The whole song is basically a rant that he isn’t turned on enough yet, and for the woman to “light his fire”. PAH!!!** Well, the implication is that, if she lights his, he’ll light hers. It’s just assumed that’s understood. And, musically, it’s a thousand times better than “Closer…” ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/979 "2003-05-19T00:33:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tag \* > \*\*I’ll see what I can do about that 😉 \*\* Excellent! Thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070/980 "2003-05-21T07:20:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*But, you guys were all promoting it as the way to get women hot and naked. I guess I’m getting confused. Nooo, NO NO!! We were promoting as _A_ way to get us hot and naked, and only under the right (read: safe) conditions. > [@](#): > > But, I did get the fact that it’s also demeaning the man in the song. That doesn’t make it any better, IMO. Normally I’d agree with you. I like my art “attractive”. But this song just has some sort of wild “pull” that is hard to describe. The man in the song is really hating and demeaning himself much more than he does the woman. After all, she “LET’S him violate her etc”. After that, the song is basically saying how he’s lost his soul and making love with her (albeit through animal sex) is his only, or near his only salvation. > [@](#): > > Okay, Tom is definitely a sexist. But, what’s wrong with saying a woman is a lady? Oh, it’s not that line of the song, it’s all the rest. “Well she’s all you’d ever want, She’s the kind they’d like to flaunt and take to dinner. Well she always knows her place.” Always know her place? GRRRRRrrrrr. “Well she’s never in the way Something always nice to say, Oh what a blessing. I can leave her on her own Knowing she’s okay alone, and there’s no messing.” Never in the way? the way of what? grrrrrrrrr “Well she never asks for very much and I don’t refuse her…She knows just what to do, and how to please me. .” See? Every line in this song is about how much she fulfills him and gives to him, just like a good little wifey. DOUBLE grrrr. Well, the implication is that, if she lights his, he’ll light hers. It’s just assumed that’s understood. And, musically, it’s a thousand times better than “Closer…” \*\* [/QUOTE] I don’t know…I went and read those lyrics too, it sure didnt’ seem implicit to me. Most of the song is “come on baby light my fire”. And it’s better? Ummm Okay, I can concede the point about “Closer’s” ugly lyrics, but musically? NUH uh! The hot bass in Closer and the guitar, too too much. I like a lot of old classic rock, but the doors have always been on my “BLECH” list. I guess if we ever had a fling, we’d BOTH have to wear earplugs…Or personal mp3 players 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070.md?page=48) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spit-or-swallow-a-followup-poll-tmi/165070.md?page=50)