# spiteful neighbor driving me insane **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 24, 2014, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540 "2014-06-24T15:36:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/21 "2014-06-24T21:09:03Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Even better! “Let’s make up a story!” Maybe someone rigged the car _a la “Speed”_ and the car had to be running throughout the night. Additionally, there was a weight sensor in the driver’s seat, explaining why the man couldn’t get out of the car. Of course, it was a high-stress situation, so that’s why he was so rude to the OP. This man is a hero and deserves a medal! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/22 "2014-06-24T21:14:49Z")
> [@here\_and\_there](#): > > Your first reaction was wrong and impolite. And yet your second sentence was just that. [/quote] That’s how desperate housewives (whom their husbands never touch) or old people who hate the world (for not dying along with them) act. [/QUOTE] Stuff your stereotypes where the sun don’t shine. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/23 "2014-06-24T21:22:24Z")
I’m not sure why\*\* here and there \*\*is getting so much static. He/she’s basically outlined Conflict Resolution for Adults 101, and a whole bunch of ITGs are jumping on **here and there** for not suggesting violence and vandalism. Sad, really. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/24 "2014-06-24T21:27:17Z")
S/he recommended using the same procedure three times in a row\*, chastising the OP for… I dunno, really, since the OP waited four hours for the behavior to be corrected. Add the passive aggressive insult in the second sentence and, yeah, **here and there** isn’t gonna come across well. And, for the record, I never advocated violence. I just find **here and there** ’s post to be extremely sanctimonious. \*What’s the definition of “insanity” again? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/25 "2014-06-24T23:04:21Z")
The Mad Idler sounds like a real jerk. I’d recommend: 1. talking to someone else at the police department about the problem, the evident harassment and enforcing the law. If that didn’t work, 2. Getting an attorney to write a letter to the neighbor outlining the problem and potential legal action he might not like. Alternatives are a) living with the noise and annoyance, b) moving. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/26 "2014-06-24T23:55:20Z")
I was raised in the South, so I would take him a plate of home-made cookies, explaining that I like to bake when my sleep is interrupted. Would you like my Ex-Lax Chocolate Cookie recipe? ---
**Author:** ![here\_and\_there](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/f07891/32.png) [@here\_and\_there](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/here_and_there)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/27 "2014-06-25T09:05:56Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > I’m not sure why\*\* here and there \*\*is getting so much static. He/she’s basically outlined Conflict Resolution for Adults 101, and a whole bunch of ITGs are jumping on **here and there** for not suggesting violence and vandalism. Sad, really. It’s all part of “the internet experience”. Some people feel that they can say anything and get away with it. And I am no way against that. But, personally, I choose not to waist my time with these people. Since you are curious about it, it is this sentence that made them furious: > [@](#): > > “That’s how desperate housewives (whom their husbands never touch) or old people who hate the world (for not dying along with them) act.” ---
**Author:** ![ctnguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@ctnguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ctnguy)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/28 "2014-06-25T10:24:23Z")
You’re getting static because you claimed that this: > [@](#): > > At 6 a.m. I went outside and knocked on the car window. The driver ignored me at first, then cracked the window. I said your engine running for hours outside our window makes it impossible to sleep; could you please either move your car or cut your engine? was somehow wrong and impolite. There’s nothing wrong with _politely_ asking the offender to remedy the offence while it is going on, and there’s nothing to suggest that the OP was impolite in how he/she asked. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/29 "2014-06-25T11:57:12Z")
> [@HipGnosis](#): > > Some more info would be helpful. > Is this actually a neighbor? Do you know where he lives? Do you know when he goes to work (or leaves normally)? > > Put an old camera in a window pointing at the car. He will assume it’s a web cam. > Take multiple pictures of the car - on multiple days. Sent them to your alderman (or whatever Yonkers has) reporting it as an abandoned vehicle. > > If you can go to the car when he’s not there (and can’t see the car), you could: > put a banana in the tailpipe or a potato > superglue the door lock (if it’s old enough to not use a remote un-locker) > superglue the gas door or cap on > pour anything vile smelling (age some milk) in the vents between the windshield and the hood I would be very careful about taking his picture or videotaping him. I would check into the legalities and I would be worried about any repercussions. I have been told by a lawyer that showing someone you are photographing (or taking video) of them is an extremely terrible thing to do - both for legal and all other reasons. If you have some reason for wanting to take video images of him and you can do it in such a way that he will not know, that is one thing. If he never finds out until he is in jail then it’s probably OK. But the entire idea is so dubious and dangerous, I would research it very carefully before ever doing such a thing. Be very careful about doing this. At the very least, consult with a lawyer. People get \*\*EXTREMELY \*\*upset and can react in all kinds of \*\*TERRIBLY VIOLENT \*\*ways if they learn that you are videotaping them without their consent. Videotape him if you like. But make sure he cannot see the camera and does not know you are doing that. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/30 "2014-06-25T11:59:38Z")
> [@here\_and\_there](#): > > Your first reaction was wrong and impolite. > … A very thoughtful and helpful post. Thank you for contributing such a good post. I’m not joking by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/31 "2014-06-25T15:02:28Z")
Does anyone else read **here and there** ’s post like a poem? The structure, the pacing, it’s got something going on. I like this couplet: _Talks that imply threats (but not direct threats). In a semi-polite way., and certainly not in an aggressive tone._ I think it should be published. He can call it “What Would You Do If You Were In My Place?”, or maybe “Why Can’t We All Get Along?” ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/32 "2014-06-25T15:09:15Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > I think it should be published. He can call it “What Would You Do If You Were In My Place?”, or maybe “Why Can’t We All Get Along?” _Ruminations on a Running Engine_ ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/33 "2014-06-25T15:16:14Z")
> [@Whiskey\_Dickens](#): > > I’m not sure why\*\* here and there \*\*is getting so much static. He/she’s basically outlined Conflict Resolution for Adults 101, and a whole bunch of ITGs are jumping on **here and there** for not suggesting violence and vandalism. Sad, really. Umm … ITG … Internet Tough Guys? I don’t really know exactly what is going on. By in my opinion, that post made by “Here and There” was excellent. If nothing else, just from an informative perspective. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/34 "2014-06-25T15:20:34Z")
> [@Charlie\_Wayne](#): > > Umm … ITG … Internet Tough Guys? 'Zactly ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/35 "2014-06-25T15:50:48Z")
Ok, let’s try another tactic: **Charlie Wayne** and **Whiskey Dickens** , please tell me what is “rude and impolite” about, after enduring the noise from 2 am until 6 am, approaching the car and saying the following - _Your engine running for hours outside our window makes it impossible to sleep; Could you please either move your car or cut your engine?_ It seems perfectly reasonable to me. No threats of violence or anything. There was a matter and it was addressed in an adult manner. For all we know, the OP needed sleep for something important the next day, but had finally reached their breaking point to where it had to be addressed. If you are having a party next door to me, and it’s keeping me up all night, I’m not going to wait until the next day to address the issue. Perhaps you would, but it doesn’t seem logical to me. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/36 "2014-06-25T16:37:40Z")
Yup, seems to me the direct approach (which is not at all jerkish) is better than passive-aggressive phases of escalation. If someone waited until the next day to tell me that I kept them awake all night, I may be more careful going forward\*, but I would think the person was a passive-aggressive jerk and/or it couldn’t have been that big of a deal if they couldn’t be bothered to come over _at the time it was happening_ and ask me to quiet down. - Not out of respect, mind you. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/37 "2014-06-25T18:41:54Z")
Just call the cops and say there is a suspicious person outside. I really don’t understand the cops not wanting to be involved. I hate it when cops do this. Odds are he’ll tire of it. Get some earplugs. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/38 "2014-06-25T20:52:21Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Just call the cops and say there is a suspicious person outside. > > I really don’t understand the cops not wanting to be involved. I hate it when cops do this. > > Odds are he’ll tire of it. Get some earplugs. I may take a lot of heat for this. But … That has happened to me so many times (that I call the cops for help and they tell me, “sorry but there is nothing I can do”. So … nowadays … anytime I think about doing something of dubious legality, I first call the cops and act like the offended party. Maybe I should give an example. One time I had this reserved parking spot that I paid for at my gym and someone with a big fancy car parked in my spot. I got very angry and thought of a few things I could do to get back at them. But before I did anything, I called the cops and pretended to be the guy with the big fancy car and I complained, “Hey! I just parked in this parking lot and when I came out someone had done ABC to my car”. (where ABC is the act I was considering of dubious legality. If the cops told me, "Sorry, nothing we can do, then I figured I had a green light to do that to the guy because if he called the cops, they wouldn’d do anything to help him. If the cops won’t help you, I figure you might as well turn things around and use that to your advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/39 "2014-06-25T20:58:51Z")
> [@Calatin](#): > > Ok, let’s try another tactic: > > **Charlie Wayne** and **Whiskey Dickens** , please tell me what is “rude and impolite” about, after enduring the noise from 2 am until 6 am, approaching the car and saying the following - > > _Your engine running for hours outside our window makes it impossible to sleep; Could you please either move your car or cut your engine?_ > > It seems perfectly reasonable to me. No threats of violence or anything. There was a matter and it was addressed in an adult manner. For all we know, the OP needed sleep for something important the next day, but had finally reached their breaking point to where it had to be addressed. > > If you are having a party next door to me, and it’s keeping me up all night, I’m not going to wait until the next day to address the issue. Perhaps you would, but it doesn’t seem logical to me. I never said that anything was “rude and impolite.” I liked someone’s post and so I wrote a post praising them. But that doesn’t mean I agreed with every word and now must defend every word they said. Also, I wanted to know what ITG meant. I’m sure you mean well. But I just don’t want to get into an argument over the Internet. I just don’t like to do that. When I look at other people quarreling or arguing about something, it seems like it often starts off nice and friendly but then devolves into name calling and even sometimes someone getting banned. I want no part of it and usually I figure it is not even worth replying to someone who asks me to defend myself. I don’t want to defend myself or anyone else because it usually leads to a big fight and I’m just not interested. I hope you will not feel offended. But I’m not going to argue with you about this. Sorry. Res Ipsa Loquitur. ---
**Author:** ![Fishtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed655f/32.png) [@Fishtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fishtar)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2014, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540/40 "2014-06-25T21:02:37Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Does anyone else read **here and there** ’s post like a poem? The structure, the pacing, it’s got something going on. I like this couplet: > > _Talks that imply threats (but not direct threats). > In a semi-polite way., and certainly not in an aggressive tone._ > > I think it should be published. He can call it “What Would You Do If You Were In My Place?”, or maybe “Why Can’t We All Get Along?” Set it to music. Like this. https://www.youtube.com/embed/78CgKkfACxA?feature=oembed&wmode=opaque Get Dana Carvey to narrate with Church Lady voice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spiteful-neighbor-driving-me-insane/691540.md?page=3)