# Splitting Rent When Roommates Boyfriend Moves In **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 25, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571 "2012-08-25T02:53:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/21 "2012-08-25T05:24:34Z")
In every roommate situation I’ve been in, we’ve done it by bedroom size. In the first case, I offered to take the smallest bedroom in exchange for also taking the private parking spot while paying an even split of the rent. Everyone was fine with that. In the second (which actually didn’t come to fruition, because the other roommates failed to tell us they wouldn’t consider the neighborhood we were looking at, even though I asked), there were three bedrooms, and my BF and I proposed that we would pay more for the master bedroom because it was larger. So we’d pay $700 for the master bed, the others would pay $550 for their bedrooms, but since there were two of us in the master bed that meant that individually we paid $350. Shared utilities would have been split four ways. The other two agreed this was fair. If you view rent as payment for space, everyone will be using the common areas more or less equally (unless you’ve got some weird arrangements going on), but bedrooms are for private, exclusive use. So it makes sense to pay more if the space you have exclusive use of is larger than someone else’s. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/22 "2012-08-25T05:59:29Z")
I was my future wife’s boyfriend, moving into an apartment she shared with a roommate. Fortunately for me, my wife held the lease. She gave the roommate a month’s notice, and I move in as soon as he moved out. She never really liked him anyway. ---
**Author:** ![emeraldia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c2a13f/32.png) [@emeraldia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emeraldia)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/23 "2012-08-25T06:06:37Z")
> [@Emzah](#): > > I have been living with my roommate for 2 years in the same place. It’s a 2 bedroom, that is $1300/month plus utilities. We both pay $650.00. Her new boyfriend is moving in and they want me to continue to pay $650 while they split and pay $325 each. The “her new boyfriend is moving in” part alone is unreasonable on their part. That’s not something for _them_ to decide. It’s something for _you and her_ to decide. As far as keeping the rent split at 50/50? Hell no! Extremely unreasonable on their part. Like you want some deadbeat guy roaming around in his dirty underwear, making filthy jokes, inappropriate touching, hogging the TV, farting on the couch, making dirty dishes, adding to the trash that has to be taken out. And like you want to listen to them have sex or fight with each other.. doors slamming at all hours at the night. Hell, maybe they’ll adopt a couple of kids, too so you can have a whole family to live with paying half rent. Why stop with the bf? There are countless ways in which another person living there will impact you negatively. This sounds like a terrible situation. > [@](#): > > They did say we would split utilities evenly. Oh, how gracious of them. > [@](#): > > I want to note my room is a bit bigger than hers but not substantially. I’ve had a few friends say that that is not fair because you don’t just pay for your room, you pay for the whole place. Plus it’s an inconvenience to have an extra person there (the place isn’t that big). Hell yeah it’s an inconvenience. But it’s not unfair. It’s _very_ unfair. > [@](#): > > So how much do you think everyone should pay? Thanks in advance for any advice! Oh… now you’re asking for specifics and numbers? That’s the hard part. Personally, I would be inclined to ask them to each pay a 1/3rd. That’s how I did it when I lived with a couple. Otherwise, take Sage Rat’s advice: > [@](#): > > If they use half the rooms/bathrooms and 2/3rds of the utilities then the suggested pay scheme sounds pretty fair. Ultimately, there’s no one absolute “fair” price, just one that seems reasonable and doesn’t involve roommate warfare and hatred (nor of them determining that they can walk over you). The only suggestion beyond their scheme that I might suggest is.. Wait.. no, not _that_ part of the advice! 😛 Luckily, Sage Rat starts to make sense after this :D: > [@](#): > > …figuring out the total square footage of the unit and of the communal areas and allocating by that. For example, if the total area of the unit is 2000 square feet (sf), their bedroom and bathroom is 300 sf, yours is 400, and the communal area is the remaining 1300, then you would pay ((400 + (1/3) \* 1300) / 2000) \* RENT and they would pay ((300 + (2/3) \* 1300) / 2000) \* RENT. Since RENT is $1300 per month, in this example it would be $541 for you and $759 for them. This would be the most _objective_ way to do it. It doesn’t take into account all of the numerous subjective factors to consider- but it will be very hard for them to argue against this. This is the bare _minimum_ you should accept. The “maximum” could be considered you paying only a 1/3 of the rent. The maximum is quite fair, and I highly recommend you do that. You should also tell her this is on a contingency basis. If it doesn’t work out, then he’s got to go. Let us know how it works out. Or just me if no one else cares 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/24 "2012-08-25T06:15:31Z")
> [@boytyperanma](#): > > \ > Also did you get a choice about the BF? That’s when the finances should have been negotiated. That’s what I was going to say - no one moves into your apartment without YOUR approval, no matter how much your roommate loves her new boy. You have as much say in who lives there as she does. I think most people move out of their roommate situation when they move in with their lover - it’s just better that way for everyone. I also think the rent should be split three ways, and all the expenses as well. As others have said, it isn’t just space in the bedroom that he’s renting - another person moving in changes everything. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/25 "2012-08-25T06:32:23Z")
Them paying half the rent is definitely not fair but I don’t see how them paying 2/3 is fair either. Why should they pay the same for half of a smaller room than the OP does for a whole larger room? My advice is take your $650 and go rent a studio apartment by yourself, but having roommates sounds like torture to me. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/26 "2012-08-25T10:55:20Z")
Utilities 1/3rd you 2/3rds them Rent, let’s assume you pay 50% for bedroom space $650 and 50% for shared space $650. Bedrooms split evenly, $325 each Shared space split 1/3 & 2/3 like utilities $217 to you $433 to them. You pay $542, they pay $758 ($379 each) ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/27 "2012-08-25T11:21:06Z")
> [@GreasyJack](#): > > Yeah, in my experience the social dynamic that emerges when you have a couple and one or more single people living in a rental house is not a healthy one. The couple is going to naturally tend to dominate the common areas as well as having an unbreakable majority in household decisions. The situation becomes more similar to a couple taking in a boarder than three supposedly equal partners, and so IMHO the rent paid by the single person should reflect that. These are really good points. They will pretty much never hang out in their room together: couples don’t do that, generally. They will be in the living room all the time. You will end up spending more and more time in your room because of the whole third wheel thing. The having a vote thing also matters. If they are paying 50% of the rent in the household, then they should only get 50% of the say in household matters. When I moved in with my now-husband and his roommate, I paid a third. Any other arrangement seems bound to breed resentment. ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/28 "2012-08-25T11:45:47Z")
It should be split in thirds. An added benefit of that is that you will be able to save a little money to move into your own place. You won’t want to stay long in that type of living arrangement. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/29 "2012-08-25T11:53:04Z")
I can not believe this is even being debated. It’s 1/3 all the way for many reasons posted above and many more I can’t be bothered to post right now. Has nobody here not seen Judge Judy? (That last bit was a joke.) ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/30 "2012-08-25T12:17:04Z")
Thirds. If they argue, offer to share your bedroom with her boyfriend. Then you and he pay $325 each, and other roommate pays $650. Cool, right? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/31 "2012-08-25T14:45:30Z")
I also say thirds on everything. Living with someone of the opposite sex who’s not your SO is a major inconvenience. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/32 "2012-08-25T14:55:55Z")
I think somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 is most appropriate. You should get some kind of discount for their use of common areas and generally making things more crowded, but they should also get a discount because living two to a room is not the same as living one to a room. I think it’s reasonable that everyone gets some small benefit out of the bringing a new person in. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/33 "2012-08-25T14:57:45Z")
Your house mate should of talked to you “gotten your permission” before she said her SO is moving in. Split everything three ways. As others have mentioned it isn’t about the bigger room. If it becomes a point of contention, fuck it let them have the bigger room. This would piss me off, but I would be a hard ass about it. Three ways or I’m out of here. Infact check your lease there maybe something in the contract about the amount of people allowed to live there. I lived in a three bedroom appt once and our other room mate moved out, we had a good friend who was ready to move in. But right before he was about to, he got canned from his job. We had decided no job, you don’t live here. He was pissed that we pulled the rug out from under him so to speak. But tough. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/34 "2012-08-25T15:25:39Z")
Thirds. For all the reasons above. And I agree that it alters the dynamics of the place. I’m not sure you should be the one to go though. ---
**Author:** ![Emzah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Emzah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emzah)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/35 "2012-08-25T17:30:39Z")
Hey all, Thanks for all the awesome replies!! The bf isnt moving in until October 1st, so I am going to have a sit down and discuss everything I need to. I have a sneaking suspicion that they are weeding me out slowly but we will see how the talk goes. She can’t move in with him because he lives with his parents and is obviously dying to leave (he moved in there after a breakup from another girl about a year ago). He’s only been with my roomie for like 2 months but that’s a whole other story . They are both in their late 30’s so I’m hoping we can have a mature discussion about this. My roomie is my friend so keep your fingers crossed. We dont have a lease but the communication between our landlord is mainly through her. The place is essentially hers. I’ve slowly started to look for a new place, have considered taking the smaller bedroom etc. The only reason I took the larger room is because I have 2 cats, and I keep the litter, food etc in there. If I took the smaller room, that stuff would have to go in the living room and I know they wouldn’t like that. I think I’d be ok with paying $500-$550. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/36 "2012-08-25T17:35:05Z")
Two months?! Oh god, red alert. Just wait until they break up and neither will move out. Or she does and his name isn’t on the lease, and he refuses to pay for certain things and the landlord goes after you for the rest of the money. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/37 "2012-08-25T17:41:43Z")
> [@Emzah](#): > > The place is essentially hers. Start looking for a new place, now. You’re already out - you just don’t know it yet. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2012, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/38 "2012-08-25T17:42:14Z")
I’m also of the between 1/2 and 2/3 camp say 60%. Some say they are using only 2 bedrooms but what about the common areas. For anyone that has lived in a small 2 before knows that adding a third person to the equation can make the apartment seem very small with everyone sharing the small bathroom, small living room and small kitchen. They should have to pay for causing some of that inconvience. But they may not see it that way. ETA: Did you see Bridesmaids? That scene when the brother and sister invite Kristen Wiig to not live when them anymore? That’s going to be you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/39 "2012-08-26T00:12:59Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Start looking for a new place, now. You’re already out - you just don’t know it yet. With the new information, I’m sort of leaning that way now, too. The fact that the roommate has only been with this guy for two months is a red flag to me, too, though - maybe **Emzah** shouldn’t be too hasty to move out, since dude may not be there long, either. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2012, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571/40 "2012-08-26T02:47:22Z")
I think my son took the best approach to this. When his roommate wanted to move his girlfriend in, my son immediately said “It’s okay, you two can have this apartment and I’ll find a new place.” The time for the mature conversation would have been before your roommate sprung her boyfriend and rent-split as a done deal. I’ll bet that even if you negotiate rent split, the boyfriend will decide he doesn’t like cats in the apartment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/splitting-rent-when-roommates-boyfriend-moves-in/632571.md?page=3)