# Spoil "Orphan" for me **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 29, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631 "2009-07-29T02:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/1 "2009-07-29T02:46:08Z")
I’ve been thinking that _Orphan_ had damn well be the best movie ever, to make up for a month+ of constant, terrible commercials on every channel. One was just on TV (_again_), bragging about its twist ending that “you’ll never see coming”. So what was said twist? ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/2 "2009-07-29T02:51:08Z")
I was curious, having seen the trailer, so I just googled for spoilers. I don’t want to see it, but it’s definitely a twist if the spoilers on line are true. Not really a nine year old. Really a 33 year old ex-prostitute (to pedophiles) dwarf who tries to seduce her adoptive father. Also, insane. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/3 "2009-07-29T03:00:49Z")
> [@Risha](#): > > I’ve been thinking that _Orphan_ had damn well be the best movie ever, to make up for a month+ of constant, terrible commercials on every channel. Tsk, tsk, tsk! Why would you assume a media barrage means a good movie? It’s intended to draw as much of the rube population as possible so they can advertise that it opened at #1. Sorta like “Battlefield: Earth” was required multi-viewing by the Scienos to pretend it was good. Rule of thumb: Ads two months before opening night usually say CRAPPY MOVIE in 72pt type. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/4 "2009-07-29T03:15:16Z")
Want creepy kids? Check out Brit horror [The Children](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Children_(2008_film)) instead. ---
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/5 "2009-07-29T04:33:50Z")
> [@Idlewild](#): > > Not really a nine year old. Really a 33 year old ex-prostitute (to pedophiles) dwarf who tries to seduce her adoptive father. Also, insane. You’re freakin’ kidding me. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/6 "2009-07-29T04:46:09Z")
> [@Idlewild](#): > > I was curious, having seen the trailer, so I just googled for spoilers. I don’t want to see it, but it’s definitely a twist if the spoilers on line are true. > > Not really a nine year old. Really a 33 year old ex-prostitute (to pedophiles) dwarf who tries to seduce her adoptive father. Also, insane. I have no plans to see it but I had a guess as to what the twist was and it seems that I was right on the money. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/7 "2009-07-29T07:52:27Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I have no plans to see it but I had a guess as to what the twist was and it seems that I was right on the money. You sir, have a truly remarkable and vivid imagination. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/8 "2009-07-29T08:00:15Z")
> [@Idlewild](#): > > I was curious, having seen the trailer, so I just googled for spoilers. I don’t want to see it, but it’s definitely a twist if the spoilers on line are true. > > Not really a nine year old. Really a 33 year old ex-prostitute (to pedophiles) dwarf who tries to seduce her adoptive father. Also, insane. Gotta be a joke. Incidentally, thanks for starting this thread, **Risha**. I have no interest in seeing this turd, but after having it shoved in my face all summer, I’m morbidly curious about how shitty the “twist” is. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/9 "2009-07-29T08:05:50Z")
Actually, after a little searching, you might be right, Idlewild. And you know what? I’m kind of embarassed to admit this but . . . that kinda sorta creeps me right the fuck out. I don’t know why. I thought it was going to be another crappy spiritual thriller and turn out she was dead or something. Realistic things are SO MUCH creepier than ghosts/demons/etc. I kind of wish I would’ve waited and rented this now. Some people are saying it’s really good and even has a sense of humor (which I didn’t get from the trailers.) ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/10 "2009-07-29T10:41:28Z")
**Idlewild** isn’t joking. I typically hit The Movie Spoiler for movies that I’m curious about but don’t want to actually see, and - full movie plot breakdown with lots of spoilage - [that’s pretty much the plot of Orphan](http://www.themoviespoiler.com/Spoilers/orphan.html). ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/11 "2009-07-29T10:51:48Z")
It sounds strange but wasn’t there a man in his early 30s posing at a 7th grade boy at a middle school somewhere? I recall it being in the news a few years ago and it being discussed here. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/12 "2009-07-29T16:55:09Z")
My sister saw it and I can confirm that the movie does, in fact, end that way. ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/13 "2009-07-30T02:51:49Z")
> [@Odesio](#): > > It sounds strange but wasn’t there a man in his early 30s posing at a 7th grade boy at a middle school somewhere? I recall it being in the news a few years ago and it being discussed here. There was a [33 year old woman](http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/15/earlyshow/main4448811.shtml) trying to attend a high school in my area. Some people are crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Xan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac8455/32.png) [@Xan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xan)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/14 "2009-07-30T03:08:13Z")
> [@Serenata67](#): > > There was a [33 year old woman](http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/15/earlyshow/main4448811.shtml) trying to attend a high school in my area. Some people are crazy. There was a French man in his 30s who was passing himself off as a young boy who was lost. I may be wrong about his age at the time. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/15 "2009-07-30T03:14:09Z")
I think I’ll pass on this and try to dig up a copy of “The Bad Seed” instead. What a great, creepy movie about a creepy kid. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/16 "2009-07-30T03:41:04Z")
Damn. I wanted to her to have psycho parents who had brainwashed her into acting like an orphan and doing Great Evil (or whatever the heck she does–I don’t watch horror movies) and then report back to them so they can live vicariously through her. So much for that. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/17 "2009-07-30T03:57:39Z")
Am I really the first person in this thread to have actually seen the movie?? Anyway, yes, I can confirm from first-hand experience that the twist is in fact true, except that I don’t believe it’s specified that she was a prostitute, per se; she definitely liked to seduce older men by pretending to be a little girl, but there’s no indication that any money changed hands. The movie is also not as terrible as many people in this thread seem to expect! It’s definitely over the top and rather cliched in places (and some people will find the twist repellent), but it’s pretty scary and well-made overall. It’s got a respectable 43% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes (not great, but better than most horror flicks in particular) and Roger Ebert [gives it](http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090722/REVIEWS/907229993) 3 1/2 stars. (Yes, I know how much credence some people here give Ebert’s reviews, but still…) ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/18 "2009-07-30T04:01:09Z")
> [@Xan](#): > > There was a French man in his 30s who was passing himself off as a young boy who was lost. I may be wrong about his age at the time. That was Frederic Bourdin. Crazy story that should REALLY be made into a movie. Fantastic article about his case [here](http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2008/08/11/080811fa_fact_grann), the author of which, I’ve just realized, also wrote the excellent [Lost City of Z](http://www.amazon.com/Lost-City-Deadly-Obsession-Amazon/dp/0385513534/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1248926411&sr=8-1). ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/19 "2009-07-30T04:29:39Z")
I thought it was hackneyed, cliched, predictably manipulative (the kind of movie which repeatedly puts children in danger to engender cheap suspense but which you know will never have the guts to actually kill any of them so there’s never any _real_ sense of suspense. The scene in the hospital when she smothers the brother with a pillow, and he flatlines, but then he miraculously recovers was especially contrived. I basically ended up rooting for the killer dwarf.), and ultimately gutless. Even the twist is gutless. If you’re looking for The Bad Seed, this movie isn’t it. I predicted the twist from the trailer, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631/20 "2009-07-30T04:33:10Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I predicted the twist from the trailer, by the way. My wife did too! How the hell did I not see it at all? I thought for sure it was another fucking ghost movie. I guess I didn’t bother to think past that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-orphan-for-me/504631.md?page=2)