# "Spoil" something for me please **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 26, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190 "2006-02-26T17:24:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/1 "2006-02-26T17:24:01Z")
I love “spoilers”. Love 'em. I have a lot of thoughts on the subject that I won’t get into here because it’s not the Pit (don’t worry, I’m not the type to go out of my way to “ruin” things for you, however mystified the concept makes me). I’ve found it’s actually difficult for me to get people to “spoil” things. Even after I found out that in HP&HBP Snape kills Dumbledore - and that will be the last spoiler box in this thread, I hope - a friend of mine didn’t fill me in on other important details, like the identity of the Half-Blood Prince. He knows I welcome spoilers unless I specifically say otherwise (a rare case of planets aligning just so), and that even in those cases I don’t really care. Nothing is spoiled for me. Sometimes I’d prefer not to know ahead of time, but I wouldn’t dream of writing off a work of art just because I knew what it looked like before I saw it in person. Anyway, this thread is a spoiler. Please don’t use the boxes, and please don’t stay if you don’t want to know. The spoilers begin unboxed below this line. Books, movies, TV shows, whatever. I’ll start with the easy ones: Darth Vader is Luke’s father, Dr. Malcolm Crowe is a ghost, Tyler Durden is a hallucination (so not a spoiler, but whatever), the winner of the Lottery dies, Norman Bates is Mother, Mulder isn’t just some nut in a basement, Leland Palmer killed Laura, Jesus comes back to life after three days, Oh my god he was wrong/it was Earth all along, Rosebud was a sled, the pretty lady has a penis, and Verbal Kint is Kayser Soze (probably). ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/2 "2006-02-26T17:55:44Z")
What do you want spoiled? ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/3 "2006-02-26T18:01:21Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > What do you want spoiled? Anything! ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/4 "2006-02-26T18:22:58Z")
> [@Ensign Edison](#): > > Anything! Could you PUH-LEASE put “Spoilers in OP!!!” in your thread title? Now you’ve gone and wrecked the New Testament for me. ---
**Author:** ![Tevildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Tevildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tevildo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/5 "2006-02-26T18:45:53Z")
The policeman did it. They all did it. Blanche, not Jane, was driving. Victor isn’t dead. Sam didn’t escape from the torture chamber. They only released the zoo animals. It’s all in Patrick’s imagination. The “FBI agent” was bogus, and the shooting was faked. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/6 "2006-02-26T18:47:48Z")
It’s his sled! Also, That chick is really a man! And, It turns out _he’s been dead the whole time!_ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/7 "2006-02-26T18:48:15Z")
She was really a he. It was his sled. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/8 "2006-02-26T18:49:19Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > It’s his sled! > > Also, > > That chick is really a man! > > And, > > It turns out _he’s been dead the whole time!_ Damn your fast typing skillz! ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/9 "2006-02-26T18:51:49Z")
If you open the box at the end of this thread, it will contain Gwenyth Paltrow’s severed head… ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/10 "2006-02-26T18:55:46Z")
Number 1 was Number 6. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/11 "2006-02-26T19:04:45Z")
[Here](http://www.themoviespoiler.com/) , [here](http://www.moviepooper.com/) , and [here](http://www.thebookspoiler.com/) are enough spoilers to keep you busy for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/12 "2006-02-26T19:13:12Z")
_They’re_ the ghosts! ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/13 "2006-02-26T19:25:22Z")
He’s actually his _father_! Rock, got there first! ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/14 "2006-02-26T20:22:37Z")
I hope you weren’t too attached to Book or Wash. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/15 "2006-02-26T20:34:26Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > I hope you weren’t too attached to Book or Wash. Awesome! That one surprised me. That’s what I’m talkin’ bout. 😉 I know the spoiler sites well, it’s just fun guessing the source. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/16 "2006-02-26T21:02:20Z")
Here. [This might help.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=222663) ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/17 "2006-02-26T22:33:12Z")
The butler did it. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/18 "2006-02-26T22:42:38Z")
They all murdered him, which is why the stab wounds are of various depths. Dawn leaves her fiance and runs in too kiss Tim. They all go to jail for one year. The war ends and they all go home, except one. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/19 "2006-02-26T23:13:26Z")
Darn it, you people got all the ones I could think of. Wait, there’s also _Memento_, but I can’t think of a way to sum up the spoiler in one quick line. Anyone else think they can? ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2006, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190/20 "2006-02-26T23:19:18Z")
Lily had an affair with Logan’s father, and he killed her. Veronica was drugged at the party accidentally, and nobody raped her. The city is in space, assembled from people’s memories of Earth. Dawn and Tim have a happy ending after all, and David does too. Ozymandias did it eleven minutes ago. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoil-something-for-me-please/346190.md?page=2)