# Spoiled, Self-Entitled Little Munchkin **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 17, 2009, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166 "2009-10-17T21:15:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/21 "2009-10-18T03:09:10Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > There’s your problem right there. For whatever reason (which to him was both obvious and crucial) he didn’t want to be there, he’s unhappy, and he’s acting out. It has nothing to do with being spoiled - it’s just that the grandmother doesn’t know how to deal with a 4-year-old in a crappy mood. > > I’m a father of a 4-year-old, and I’ve been there. You either take him aside until he’s calmed down and is ready to rejoin humanity, or you take him home. Make no mistake: the same thing could have happened with any kid there. > > Little kids are erratic. Sometimes they’re angels, sometimes they’re the Beast from Hell. You just have to catch them on a good day. Agreed. This has nothing to do with a spoiled brat. I’m sure the grandmother was mortified. Children are a handfull. Don’t be so quick to blame the parents. Sometimes you can blame the parents, but unless they took the kid out for ice cream on the way home, I don’t have any reason to think they’ve done anything wrong. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/22 "2009-10-18T04:41:54Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > In that situation I would have found a book and a quiet spot to hide in until it was time to leave. Even at that age, I was a nerd. Still, I sympathize with the little terror, if not excuse his behavior. You would have found a book and read at four years old? That’s pretty unusual. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/23 "2009-10-18T04:55:32Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > You would have found a book and read at four years old? That’s pretty unusual. Probably less unusual around here. I’ve been reading since I was three; I usually had a book with me when I was four as well. ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/24 "2009-10-18T05:00:56Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > You would have found a book and read at four years old? That’s pretty unusual. Not really at that age I would have and did do the same. ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/25 "2009-10-18T05:36:14Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > I don’t care for that kind of comment. > > Surely, a kid that small, a .22 would be fine. There is also another advantage, A .22 will not always leave the skull,Avoiding the whole “ewww my cake is all ruined” scenario 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/26 "2009-10-18T06:24:19Z")
> [@akira5822](#): > > There is also another advantage, A .22 will not always leave the skull,Avoiding the whole “ewww my cake is all ruined” scenario 😛 Close quarters. Small, fast-moving target. Birdshot. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/27 "2009-10-18T07:02:47Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > You would have found a book and read at four years old? That’s pretty unusual. Well, it would have been, like, Dick and Jane or something, but yeah, I was into reading that early. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/28 "2009-10-18T07:15:27Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Um, no. He needs to learn how to behave in his peer group; he needs to learn how to mind the adults entrusted to his care and he needs to learn that HIS needs/wants don’t always come first–whatever do the parents do with him when they have to go spend time with elderly relatives? Not make him go? What about doing other boring stuff like chores etc? Bored, grumpy, missing Mommy (how do we know that) does not allow him to embody crying or steal a present. This is an out of control child who needs a PARENT to set some damned limits on him. He should have been whisked out of that party with the complete meltdown, but he needs to also be exposed to Things We Do Because We Have To. IOW, manners. 4 is not too young for manners. Of course you can teach a 4-year-old manners - my kid is very careful wth his "please"s and "thank you"s, and he has been known to apologize of his own free will, without being ordered to. That doesn’t prevent him from having the occassional meltdown like the one described in the OP. You can teach a 4-year-old how to behave, but you can’t expect him to have learned to do it perfectly. And yes, the grandmother should have made her apologies and left. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/29 "2009-10-18T08:04:33Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > 9 mm is a supersonic round. A silencer won’t do you any good with the damned bullet making a sonic boom every inch it travels. What you need is a .45, which is a larger but slower subsonic round (with plenty of stopping power) that’s much more suited to use with a silenced pistol. Ahem [http://www.valorcorp.com/products/product.asp?root\_id=277&cat\_id=277&item=2007041](http://www.valorcorp.com/products/product.asp?root_id=277&cat_id=277&item=2007041) ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/30 "2009-10-18T12:53:29Z")
Hahahaha, jokes about shooting unruly kids are fine but HOW DARE YOU bitch about fat people! Shine on everyone! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/31 "2009-10-18T13:03:21Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > Hahahaha, jokes about shooting unruly kids are fine but HOW DARE YOU bitch about fat people! That’s because unruly kids aren’t likely to post to the Dope, whereas fat people are. I’m sure if unruly kids could participate, they’d be throwing tantrums in this very thread. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/32 "2009-10-18T13:10:44Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > Hahahaha, jokes about shooting unruly kids are fine but HOW DARE YOU bitch about fat people! > > Shine on everyone! It also could be because no one really thinks that **ChefGuy** and **MEBuckner** are serious about shooting toddlers. Unlike the fat people bitchers, who actually believe the crap the spew. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/33 "2009-10-18T13:41:28Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Of course you can teach a 4-year-old manners - my kid is very careful wth his "please"s and "thank you"s, and he has been known to apologize of his own free will, without being ordered to. That doesn’t prevent him from having the occassional meltdown like the one described in the OP. You can teach a 4-year-old how to behave, but you can’t expect him to have learned to do it perfectly. > > And yes, the grandmother should have made her apologies and left. Agreed 100%. Even the best kids are erratic as you say. Consider: they have very little control over their lives, everything is new around them, they don’t understand the rules of society, their brains are not yet developed completely. Parents need to help them learn the world and its expectations, certainly–but they need to balance this against ruining everyone else’s time. Sometimes you must err on the side of inconveniencing other people a little: if you’re at a party and your child starts snivelling because he doesn’t get a present, you might pull him aside and explain things, and bring him back in when he’s able to be quietly devastated at the unfairness of it all. Sure, his tear-streaked frowny faces is gonna harsh some buzzes, but he needs to learn correct behavior. But other times you err on the side of not teaching the lesson right then: if he’s clearly trapped in a spiral of anger and sadness, your lesson won’t get through, and his screams can ruin everyone else’s time. Take him home, make your displeasure clear, and when he’s calmed down, make a plan for next time. And next time, go over party rules in advance. Make the time for this: it’s a vital part of prepping for the event. Make it positive, fun–but clear. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/34 "2009-10-18T13:42:17Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > That’s because unruly kids aren’t likely to post to the Dope, whereas fat people are. Especially not after you shoot them. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/35 "2009-10-18T13:43:38Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > If I ever have kids, I might get their vocal cords snipped like Paris Hilton’s dog. She only did that because it kept making nom nom noises, when she held it by her chest for the reporters. The Taco Bell dog is a good example of how annoying a lap dog with vocal cords can be. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/36 "2009-10-18T15:19:09Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > The Taco Bell dog is a good example of how annoying a lap dog with vocal cords can be. Uh, that’s racist. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/37 "2009-10-18T15:20:48Z")
> [@Michael\_Ellis](#): > > Hahahaha, jokes about shooting unruly kids are fine but HOW DARE YOU bitch about fat people Won’t \*someone \*think of the children? ---
**Author:** ![furlibusea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@furlibusea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furlibusea)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/38 "2009-10-18T15:44:23Z")
> [@wierdaaron](#): > > Today is my niece’s 3rd birthday party. Over at my sister’s house there’s about 8 other kids over (from day care or family friends and such) and a parent or two for each. There is your first problem. One of the rules of thumb is that you should have no more than 1 child per year +1. I always felt that the extra child is at least one one too many. Geez if we are doing social obligation invites at the age of 3 what the hell is her wedding going to be like. There is no earthly reason to invite every kid you know within 2 years of the kid’s age. The kid won’t enjoy it and someone will act out. Guaranteed. As for the kid who acted up, it is hard to tell from one viewing whether he is just a brat or if he was overwhelmed. Keep in mind, size is not a good way to judge age. My daughter was always tiny for her age, and was given a lot more leeway because of it. My mother’s best friend’s grandchildren were in the 90th percentile in height. Even teachers who should have known better were constantly expecting more from them, with really bad results for the kids. The other thing to keep in mind is you shouldn’t make threats you can’t or don’t want to keep. Telling the kid “I am taking you out of here if you act up one more time,” when you really want to stay is something the kids can tell pretty easily. Don’t give the warning just pick them up and go. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/39 "2009-10-18T15:56:07Z")
Why does a three-year old need an elaborate birthday party, anyway? They haven’t done anything yet to merit full-blown commemoration of the mere anniversary of their birth. Why, it’s like giving a first-year president a Nobel Prize or something… ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2009, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166/40 "2009-10-18T16:22:23Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Uh, that’s racist. What? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-self-entitled-little-munchkin/514166.md?page=3)