# Spoiled teen or am I just a grumpy old lady? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2015, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268 "2015-09-14T21:29:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/61 "2015-09-15T14:07:39Z")
This is beside the point, but I can’t figure out why the daughter was even brought along. She doesn’t sound like the kind of kid that enjoys hanging out with adults and I’d think her mother should know her eating likes and dislikes and that she probably won’t want to go to the chosen destination. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/62 "2015-09-15T14:11:58Z")
The mom and kid were already out together doing errands or whatnot when the mom called the OP to see if she wanted to go to lunch, as they were near her house. She didn’t bring the kid along to a pre-planned lunch date. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/63 "2015-09-15T14:20:38Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > The mom and kid were already out together doing errands or whatnot when the mom called the OP to see if she wanted to go to lunch, as they were near her house. She didn’t bring the kid along to a pre-planned lunch date. Ahhh, got it. In that case, bad idea on mom’s part, but what’s done is done. Perhaps next time she can lay out the expectations for the daughter and if it looks like she’s not able to comply than skip the outing (or drop her spoiled ass off at home and join her friend by herself). ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/64 "2015-09-15T14:21:49Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > So Denny’s and IHOP would qualify as “diners” then (they all have the counter, some are 24 hours, and they serve breakfast for dinner)? Honestly, this is the first time I’ve heard anyone espouse the idea that there is an actual non-imaginary distinction between a “diner” and a “restaurant”, much less that there is any sort of general consensus on what that distinction is. Some places may actually style themselves as a diner, up to and including it in the name of the establishment (i.e. “Papa Smurf’s Diner”, or whatever), but the thought that anyone would actually say to themselves “X establishment is a diner, but not a restaurant” or vice-versa, and then base their patronage decisions on this imagined dichotomy blows my mind. Probably a topic that deserves its own thread, but I am too lazy to compose one, at least at the present moment. A diner is a place where if you order scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy and a black coffee, the waitress shouts to the fry cook: “Hey Marty! That’s two cluck-berries, wrecked. A heart attack on a rack and draw one in the dark!” ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/65 "2015-09-15T14:24:41Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > A diner is a place where if you order scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy and a black coffee, the waitress shouts to the fry cook: “Hey Marty! That’s two cluck-berries, wrecked. A heart attack on a rack and draw one in the dark!” or if you order a hamburger with no onions, “bring the bull in the ring and laugh in his face” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/66 "2015-09-15T14:29:23Z")
These are [diners](http://hauteliving.com/2011/05/top-5-24-hour-diners-in-atlanta/162713/). Well, the first 4 are, the fifth is a restaurant. IMHO Denny’s would qualify, but not IHOP. Look up diner on Google, however, and you will see that mileage most certainly does vary. The kid, BTW, was being a brat. Most 15 year olds are, a large percentage of the time. Most grow out of it, some grow up to be Adult Special Snowflakes. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/67 "2015-09-15T14:37:13Z")
Nobody over the age of three should whine. If either of my siblings’ kids pulled that stunt, they would have been pushed out of the car and told to walk home. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/68 "2015-09-15T14:57:49Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Honestly, this is the first time I’ve heard anyone espouse the idea that there is an actual non-imaginary distinction between a “diner” and a “restaurant”, much less that there is any sort of general consensus on what that distinction is. Here we go. We (meaning society) are using the word “restaurant” in two slightly different ways here. First, “restaurant” is general category of place where you go to sit down and eat food. The following are more specific types of restaurants: - fast food - diner - pizza parlor - Chinese buffet - steak house - brasserie - bar and grill and many, many more. By using these specific types in conversation, we give others some idea of what to expect for the meal, and in addition, some vague idea of price point, level of dress, etc. Now, this is not an exact science, surely there are some very pricey pizza parlors, but we’re talking a general idea here. Second – and this is the subjective part – “restaurant” is also used, somewhat loosely, to indicate a minimum of upscaleness to the eating experience. So I personally would be somewhat surprised if friends and I were talking about “getting together for dinner at a restaurant” and then the restaurant ended up being Dairy Queen. I would actually enjoy Dairy Queen, because those Blizzards are the best, but I would still be somewhat surprised, because while it is in fact a building where food is served and thus a restaurant, it’s not really a typical destination for a meal with a nicer level of menu and service. It would not surprise or confuse me if someone said “where do you feel like eating – just grabbing something quick at a diner, or looking for an interesting restaurant?” It means they are asking me if I want something super casual or something that is the next level up in terms of menu and service. If you do not feel comfortable making this distinction on the fly in context, stick with the specific terms and ask if your dining companion would prefer a diner or a pizza parlor, dim sum or a steak house. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/69 "2015-09-15T15:04:15Z")
She sounds like a horrible brat, especially to act like that in front her mother’s friend. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/70 "2015-09-15T15:15:13Z")
You are not a grumpy old lady, but it’s possible the kid just didn’t want to come along and mom dragged her. I see this a lot: parents dragging their kids everywhere with them. 15 is old enough to stay home alone, so why bring the kid where she is not welcome? That being said, I can’t stand the whining either. I always approve silently when I hear parents in public shut down the whining right away. “I waaaaaant caaandy.” “You’re not getting anything if you whine.” My brother-in-law has a ton of faults but one thing he is, is a great dad, and whenever his kids whined he always shut it down (even without explosive rage!) As such the kids, while they have other problems, aren’t very whiny. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/71 "2015-09-15T15:29:45Z")
The kid was probably out with the mom as part of the errand that brought them to the OP’s neighborhood, which must be some distance from their home, given the need for suggestions and directions for where to eat. Sure, the kid probably didn’t want to hang out with mom and her disapproving friend, but so what? Having to be somewhere you’d rather not be is not justification to act like a rude brat. I would be completely mortified if my kid acted this way at any age that gets measured in years. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/72 "2015-09-15T15:47:19Z")
Maybe the daughter was angry because she was forced to sit in the back seat, and the car’s a [**Messerschmitt**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messerschmitt_KR200). ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/73 "2015-09-15T16:12:05Z")
Kid was a brat for sure. Also, mom should have had something to say about the brattiness. When kids are 15, the time for picking battles is long since over. It’s often perfectly sensible to pick battles with a toddler - who doesn’t really speak English yet and has essentially no reasoning or logic faculties and an almost total lack of understanding of cause-and-effect. In theory, a teenager _does_ speak English, has reasoning and logic faculties and ought to have at least a baseline understanding of cause-and-effect. You shouldn’t be teaching teenagers _new_ rules so much as reinforcing a lifetime of rules. With a toddler, it might be new rules. I will say that my brother and his wife eliminated whining from their kids by the expedient of repeating the phrase “I can’t hear you when you whine/use that tone of voice” over and over and over and over and over every damn time a whine emerged - and instructing everyone who interacted with their kids that no whining was the rule and anyone was free to enforce it. My brother actually told my mom at one point “We don’t negotiate with terrorists - don’t let her whine for stuff”. Their oldest was a natural-born whiner, so it took a while, but she hasn’t really done any serious whining for several years now. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/74 "2015-09-15T16:18:05Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > The kid was probably out with the mom as part of the errand that brought them to the OP’s neighborhood, which must be some distance from their home, given the need for suggestions and directions for where to eat. Sure, the kid probably didn’t want to hang out with mom and her disapproving friend, but so what? Having to be somewhere you’d rather not be is not justification to act like a rude brat. I would be completely mortified if my kid acted this way at any age that gets measured in years. Yeah, so would I. I just remember being dragged to every single place with my mom and then being expected to act nice and like I was enjoying it, even though it was miserable. Yeah, good experience for adulthood - the first 20 times. Sometimes, I would have just liked to stay home. But my mom certainly had no truck with whining. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/75 "2015-09-15T17:01:26Z")
> [@Sam\_Lowry](#): > > She shouldn’t have to change to accommodate a whiny kid. Whiny kids are annoying, and I’m glad that so far very few of my friends have kids, and none of them are teenagers yet. But in my mind, Sahirrnee’s choices were: > [ul] > [li]Just get right back out of the car so to not be stuck with the annoying teenager[/li][li]Tell the mom she’d rather go to the diner and not give in to a teenager’s whining[/li][li]Offer a choice of restaurant that isn’t Sahirrnee’s first choice but is still okay with some decent items that she likes[/li][li]Offer a choice of restaurant that sucks and she won’t like[/li][/ul] > > I could understand any of the first three options, I don’t understand why she would pick the fourth option. > > And I don’t know if the teenager is lying, she might hate diners and be okay with telling that to her mom and mom’s friend, but just willing to go along with her boyfriend with whatever he wants to do. I didn’t get the impression that Sahirrnee deliberately picked a bad restaurant, just that she made another suggestion and it turned out to suck - maybe they had an off day, maybe it was a new place they’d never tried before, or any number of reasons. I know if I’m all set for my cinnamon rolls and chicken-fried chicken from one of my favorite places ([http://neighborhoodcafels.com/](http://neighborhoodcafels.com/) ) and I end up with some whiny whelp (waves to nephew) who will eat chicken fingers from TGIFriday’s and only from TGIFriday’s, and then we end up at TGIFriday’s, I’m going to think it sucks. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/76 "2015-09-15T17:23:49Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I do wonder what happens to bratty teenagers when they become adults. Do they become bratty employees and bratty spouses? Or is it something that they shed as they get older and realize the harshness of the real world. While I do appreciate that parents are being nicer to their kids than my father was to me, I shudder to think of all these kids who have grown up with people telling them “good job” for everything they do. I actually saw someone say “hey, you made it! Good job!” just for the kid showing up for an event, not even having done anything yet. I had a younger co-worker who reliably reported for work, but did very little work and what was done was marginal. They actually thought they were doing well, and thought they would be here long-term. Where would they get that idea? You’re in your chair and breathing! Good job! /old lady ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/77 "2015-09-15T17:51:18Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > The kid was probably out with the mom as part of the errand that brought them to the OP’s neighborhood, which must be some distance from their home, given the need for suggestions and directions for where to eat. Sure, the kid probably didn’t want to hang out with mom and her disapproving friend, but so what? Having to be somewhere you’d rather not be is not justification to act like a rude brat. I would be completely mortified if my kid acted this way at any age that gets measured in years. Yes, they were out shopping for the day and had to pass by me on the way home. This friend lives a good 45 minutes away. The kid has no problem with eating out, they do it a lot and she is always happy to spend her parent’s money. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/78 "2015-09-15T18:04:28Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > A diner is a place where if you order scrambled eggs,and a black coffee, the waitress **shouts to the fry cook: “Hey Marty!”** yeah…calling the cook by his name is part of what separates a diner from a restaurant. A restaurant, (like Denny’s) is usually a large chain. It has formal procedures, all empolyees wear a standard uniform, etc. A diner stands alone, and is more informal. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/79 "2015-09-15T18:10:12Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > I didn’t get the impression that Sahirrnee deliberately picked a bad restaurant, just that she made another suggestion and it turned out to suck - maybe they had an off day, maybe it was a new place they’d never tried before, or any number of reasons. > > I know if I’m all set for my cinnamon rolls and chicken-fried chicken from one of my favorite places ([http://neighborhoodcafels.com/](http://neighborhoodcafels.com/) ) and I end up with some whiny whelp (waves to nephew) who will eat chicken fingers from TGIFriday’s and only from TGIFriday’s, and then we end up at TGIFriday’s, I’m going to think it sucks. No I didn’t mean to pick a bad one. I told them I hadn’t eaten there before but it gets rave reviews and has been featured on _Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives_. The place is always packed. Maybe we ordered the wrong stuff or they were having a bad day. I ordered the same thing there that I would have ordered at the diner - shrimp salad on toast with fries and a coke. Except at the diner I would have gotten lemonade. It cost twice as much and wasn’t as good. I know they weren’t impressed with their meals either. I’ve taken quite a few friends to the diner and nobody has ever complained. Two of my friends always want to go there when they are in the area. ---
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/80 "2015-09-15T18:10:55Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > Come to Long Island. They are everywhere and are exactly as you’ve described. I would expect no less from my home state.😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268.md?page=5)