# Spoiled teen or am I just a grumpy old lady? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2015, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268 "2015-09-14T21:29:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/81 "2015-09-15T18:16:22Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > T-bone steaks for 30 cents, too, I’ll bet. Smartass.😉 I’m not **that** old. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/82 "2015-09-15T18:24:06Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Can you explain this to me? I genuinely don’t understand why it takes nerve to say something. > > If you’d said, “actually, I was looking forward to the diner,” what would have happened? I mean, yes, your friend would have to choose between her adult friend and prior commitment vs. her teenaged daughter, but that’s easy: “sorry, Kiddo; it’s just one meal. It won’t kill you.” > > There’s a few other threads at the moment from people who give in / back down to avoid a minor-to-negligible confrontation, and end up in a much worse situation. Why is it so difficult to bite the bullet and express polite disagreement? Good question and something for me to think about. I think at that moment it would have been hard for me to be polite because my first response would have been, ‘You’re kidding, right?’ From the look in my friend’s eyes though, I think it would have been difficult for her to have to choose. That she even felt like she had to ask me speaks volumes. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/83 "2015-09-15T18:27:42Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Good question and something for me to think about. > > I think at that moment it would have been hard for me to be polite because my first response would have been, ‘You’re kidding, right?’ > From the look in my friend’s eyes though, I think it would have been difficult for her to have to choose. > That she even felt like she had to ask me speaks volumes. Thank you. That makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/84 "2015-09-15T18:33:09Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Good question and something for me to think about. > > I think at that moment it would have been hard for me to be polite because my first response would have been, ‘You’re kidding, right?’ > From the look in my friend’s eyes though, I think it would have been difficult for her to have to choose. > That she even felt like she had to ask me speaks volumes. But is “you’re kidding, right?” actually rude? The kid was acting like a brat. What’s wrong with expressing your astonishment at the unfolding situation? Or speaking to her directly: please do not whine, it hurts my ears; your mom is going to buy you a nice lunch, this is no way to speak to her; let’s talk about where we are going to eat that we can all enjoy after you calm down, etc. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/85 "2015-09-15T18:37:06Z")
From the outside, to me, it appears the mother lacks spine (hence a whining teenager), and put it to you, as in, “Do you mind if…”, possibly hoping you would exert your own spine and mention that you already had your heart set on a place. My point is she may have been prepared to back you up. If only you’d spoken up! It’s also within the realm of possibility that she told the daughter, “Only if Sarihee agrees!”. And you did. All to say, when an interaction still weighs on you once it’s over, perhaps the lesson to take is to speak up. Perhaps it would have helped this child to hear an adult say No, for a change. I think it’s always better to speak up, in the moment, than to complain afterward. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/86 "2015-09-15T18:53:15Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > From the outside, to me, it appears the mother lacks spine (hence a whining teenager), and put it to you, as in, “Do you mind if…”, possibly hoping you would exert your own spine and mention that you already had your heart set on a place. > > My point is she may have been prepared to back you up. If only you’d spoken up! > > It’s also within the realm of possibility that she told the daughter, “Only if Sarihee agrees!”. > And you did. > > All to say, when an interaction still weighs on you once it’s over, perhaps the lesson to take is to speak up. Perhaps it would have helped this child to hear an adult say No, for a change. > > I think it’s always better to speak up, in the moment, than to complain afterward. Interesting that you say that. I never said anything to my friend about this but after another incident I did say something about how I couldn’t believe what her daughter had said to her. My friend said she wished I had said something to the daughter, that maybe hearing it from someone other than her parents would make it sink in. ---
**Author:** ![Carryon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Carryon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carryon)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/87 "2015-09-15T19:00:53Z")
Perhaps the parent didn’t realize her kid was whiny? I know of a couple that bickers constantly over every trivial thing. Neither one realizes they do this and they won’t admit it. But it keeps people from wanting to be around them as a couple. Is this a constant behavior? I’m willing to give the kid the benefit of the doubt if you don’t know, we can all have days where we are jerks. Myself included, I’ve done things, and later said, “how could I have acted like such a jerk.” It does happen to us all. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/88 "2015-09-15T19:02:02Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > I love good lemonade - but not with brownies. > The diner has the best shrimp salad sandwich and it’s stuffed so full that you can take half of it home for later. Damn, that sounds yummy. Where’s this diner? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/89 "2015-09-15T19:04:39Z")
How close are you to this friend? Would you still be good friends if you said you didn’t want to change your plans for a whiny 15 year old and they should have more respect? ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/90 "2015-09-15T19:19:18Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Damn, that sounds yummy. Where’s this diner? 🙂 Mikie’s in Glen Burnie ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/91 "2015-09-15T19:22:32Z")
I’m laughing just because, to avoid going to a diner, evidently you went to either a drive-in or a dive. 🙂 (A local place was on that show. Their burgers are decent, their buns are fantastic, but their service and atmosphere sucks balls. Also everything is sticky and it’s full of dudebros.) ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/92 "2015-09-15T19:37:33Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Interesting that you say that. I never said anything to my friend about this but after another incident I did say something about how I couldn’t believe what her daughter had said to her. My friend said she wished I had said something to the daughter, that maybe hearing it from someone other than her parents would make it sink in. This reminds me of a few calls we got when I worked for the 911 dispatch agency years ago. People actually would call in and request a police response because their kid wouldn’t go to school or wouldn’t get in the car to be taken to school. I asked a dispatcher about these and he shrugged and said he guessed they thought the cop could force the kid to get in the car. Speaking of spineless, I recall one mind-blowing encounter that I witnessed once in a rec center locker room. Mom and daughter (about 7 years old) had been swimming and were changing back into street clothes at the same time I was changing into swimsuit for my water aerobics class. Their conversation went like this: mom: hurry up and dry off so we can go, okay? kid: no (proceeds to dry herself off in a leisurely way) 2 minutes later mom (wheedling tone): hurry so we can go home kid: no! (blow dries her hair very slowly) 3 minutes later, kid is in dry clothes but dawdling mom (pleading tone): can we go now? kid: NO! mom waits 30 seconds then: can we go? kid: I said NO! 1 minute later mom (excessively polite pleading tone): katie, please can we go? kid: NO! I was so appalled at this train wreck that I wanted to stare open-mouthed at them, especially the mom. But I have better manners, so only shook my head quietly amongst myself. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/93 "2015-09-15T19:48:12Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Good, because you already redlined the Durpometer with this post. That’s completely uncalled for and obviously fallacious, seeing as even within this thread, there’s not one unanimous consensus on what does or doesn’t constitute a “diner”. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/94 "2015-09-15T19:58:38Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Brats are why one’s vehicle should have either roof racks or a trunk. Bawahahahaha 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/95 "2015-09-15T20:04:51Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > A local place was on that show. Their burgers are decent, their buns are fantastic, but their service and atmosphere sucks balls. I told my waitress “Your burgers are OK but your buns are fantastic” and she called the manager before I even mentioned the ball-sucking service. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/96 "2015-09-15T20:05:02Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Interesting that you say that. I never said anything to my friend about this but after another incident I did say something about how I couldn’t believe what her daughter had said to her. My friend said she wished I had said something to the daughter, that maybe hearing it from someone other than her parents would make it sink in. Make what sink in, that her mom is a spineless wimp who needs other people to stick up for her? I’m generous to a fault in saying that the kid should be allowed input into dining choices, since they’re eating the food too. But the parent has to exercise control and not leave it up to friends to manage her daughter’s behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/97 "2015-09-15T20:21:49Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I told my waitress “Your burgers are OK but your buns are fantastic” and she called the manager before I even mentioned the ball-sucking service. > > Regards, > Shodan What about the sticky tables? Is that a bug or a feature? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/98 "2015-09-15T20:35:49Z")
> [@Sahirrnee](#): > > Mikie’s in Glen Burnie Hey, that’s just a short hop from BWI! We’ll have to try that place, the next time we fly back into BWI. We’re generally looking to stop and eat somewhere after we get out of the airport. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/99 "2015-09-15T20:50:53Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > These are [diners](http://hauteliving.com/2011/05/top-5-24-hour-diners-in-atlanta/162713/). Well, the first 4 are, the fifth is a restaurant. IMHO Denny’s would qualify, but not IHOP. Look up diner on Google, however, and you will see that mileage most certainly does vary. Those places all have the word “diner” actually in the name of the establishment, which supports the idea of it being a self-styled marketing thing. > [@cmyk](#): > > A diner is a place where if you order scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy and a black coffee, the waitress shouts to the fry cook: “Hey Marty! That’s two cluck-berries, wrecked. A heart attack on a rack and draw one in the dark!” Outside of the movies, I doubt there are very many places left that still do that. Maybe a handful of backwoods-type places, but the vast majority of “eating establishments” (whatever you may call them) use POS systems nowadays. But then again, a lot of the responses here suggest their idea of a “diner” is simply a more “old-fashioned” restaurant. What about a modern chain that purposely capitalizes on the Retro vibe i.e. Johnny Rockets? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/100 "2015-09-15T22:12:35Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > What about the sticky tables? Is that a bug or a feature? An inevitable byproduct of the ball-sucking service. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268.md?page=6)