# Spoiled teen or am I just a grumpy old lady? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2015, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268 "2015-09-14T21:29:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/101 "2015-09-15T22:15:29Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > This reminds me of a few calls we got when I worked for the 911 dispatch agency years ago. People actually would call in and request a police response because their kid wouldn’t go to school or wouldn’t get in the car to be taken to school. I asked a dispatcher about these and he shrugged and said he guessed they thought the cop could force the kid to get in the car. I was waiting for my car at the neighborhood garage one morning and the woman behind the counter had her son with her. She called the police to come and talk to him because she couldn’t force him to go to school, and the last time they had made him go, he trashed the school for hundreds of dollars in damages. She didn’t seem like the kind of woman who would take a lot of shit from her kid so I think she didn’t know what else to do, plus it was a way to report him truant so the cops would know she wasn’t allowing it on purpose, just had no other option. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2015, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/102 "2015-09-15T23:10:52Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > And what exactly is that difference? (I saw **monstro** ’s description, but that seems especially specific and also basically describes the Cheesecake Factory). I see from your profile that you live in California. If you were from the northeast, you wouldn’t be so mystified by this. Certainly I don’t know anyone from my neighborhood in the Bronx who would have any problem identifying a diner. And no, I’m not going to waste time trying to explain it to you, especially since you seem more interested in arguing rather than in understanding it. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/103 "2015-09-16T05:37:23Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > And no, I’m not going to waste time trying to explain it to you, especially since you seem more interested in arguing rather than in understanding it. Not really, I’m just skeptical that there’s any sort of universal consensus about such a thing unless an establishment actually styles itself that way. Interestingly, we have a place here called [Norm’s Restaurant](http://normsrestaurants.com/bfast.html) that exhibits pretty much all the features people have described as “diner”-esque: the locations are all open 24/7 (it’s a chain but only 18 locations, all in CA) with a big menu that includes breakfast served all day, they have a bar/counter with stools, the style is kind of retro and shiny and old-fashioned, etc. Now what do you make of _that_? Is it a diner? Is it a restaurant? Is there really no difference? Who knows! ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/104 "2015-09-16T08:30:08Z")
Anyone who does not like diners should be dropped off in the middle of the salt flats and left to forage. Long road trips including cheeseburgers and chocolate malts at diners are what make America great. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/105 "2015-09-16T08:38:22Z")
The teen does sound rather spoiled from the information you’ve provided. And yeah, stopping whining is difficult to do with a teenager; it should have been done ten years ago. I’m far from a perfect parent and my daughter is over-indulged in some ways (according to my partner, who is not my co-parent) but I still managed to stop whining without being horrible. The rule was “I said no, so if you ask me again, you’re not getting it for a week,” (or whatever an appropriate timescale was for that item), and I stuck to it, even with her friends when they spent a long time with me basically babysitting them, as often happened. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/106 "2015-09-16T08:55:01Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Anyone who does not like diners should be dropped off in the middle of the salt flats and left to forage. Long road trips including cheeseburgers and chocolate malts at diners are what make America great. And chicken-fried steak! And Reubens! And … There’s a place here in Tulsa on 11th St. (which is Rte 66) called Tally’s which is classic diner. Everybody loves it and loves Talal (Tally). Not talking about the kid because other than the people who have to deal with it, why would anyone give a rat’s ass? I mean, the thread title is a little misleading because it suggests there is some doubt as to whether or not the teen is spoiled. Seriously, OP? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/107 "2015-09-16T09:39:12Z")
EVERY teen goes thru a brat or rebellious stage (or at least they should). IMHO I know I did. They rebel against their parents and what’s funny is they rebel against whatever their parents do. So very often the conservative bible belt parents suddenly got the sinner. The “open minded” most liberal hippy parents suddenly have a kid who wants to join the NRA and vote republican. The druggy parent has a kid who goes clean. OK, so those are stereotypes but I’ve seen many examples that are close. We had a lesbian Mom on this board awhile back who’s son now suddenly wasnt so keen with how he was being raised by her and her partner. It happens. The kid in question could just go thru this stage and still come out great. She might even apologize later. I’ve heard good advice for parents is to “do you best, then go take a nap”. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/108 "2015-09-16T10:33:09Z")
> [@fisha](#): > > The second sentence is a direct response from the implementation of the first sentence. > Thank you for good parenting. +1. Whiners always make me laugh. Mostly because they don’t know what’s coming. I have no compunction responding to either them, or their parents. The excitement is never knowing what mood I might be in. I have a 100% success rate. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/109 "2015-09-16T11:29:44Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Now what do you make of _that_? Is it a diner? Is it a restaurant? Is there really no difference? Who knows! Oooooh, that’s a tough one. Let’s ask [Wikipedia.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norms_Restaurants) > [@](#): > > Norms Restaurants is a chain of diner-style restaurants in Southern California. Yep, it’s a diner. It’s obviously a diner. Nobody who’s ever eaten in a diner before would walk into one and say “I’m not sure if this is a diner or not, I wonder if they serve diner food?” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/110 "2015-09-16T12:56:20Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Those places all have the word “diner” actually in the name of the establishment, which supports the idea of it being a self-styled marketing thing. Describing the type of establishment in the name is a marketing gimmick? So hospitals are just doctor offices with better marketing? They do, after all, both fit into the health care genre. Since other places serve alcohol, the word “Bar” in an establishment name is meaningless? That’s some mighty spurious logic there, **Rigamarole** , especially since your screen name appears to be pretty descriptive of the product you’re serving. Perhaps [this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diner) will help. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/111 "2015-09-16T12:57:59Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > I wonder if they serve diner food?" Now THAT’S what you shoudda said, **Sahirrnee**! "If there needs to be a discussion about when _you_ get to choose where we’re going, my discussion technique probably differs vastly from your parents because you don’t get to say anything. I don’t know what they serve and why you don’t like it - I know what they _don’t_ serve, and that’s whiney little bitches. Until you’re paying and you’re driving, you have no choice about where we go - the only choice in _your_ hands is how you’re going to behave. And right now, since you can’t even make the most obvious choice there, why would I believe _you_ know a better place to eat? Just clear that whiney space in your head and think about the much, much less fortunate girls in the world who have no choice whatsoever about anything at all. Think about that. And if you choose to sulk, or carry on or continue being rude to your mother, be assured that by the time this lunch is over you will truly, truly envy them. You will wonder why your mother is my friend. So, keep in mind that weeks, months, even years from now all I’ll remember about today is how great it was going to the diner. All you’ll remember is how you behaved." 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/112 "2015-09-16T15:48:52Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Not really, I’m just skeptical that there’s any sort of universal consensus about such a thing unless an establishment actually styles itself that way. Interestingly, we have a place here called [Norm’s Restaurant](http://normsrestaurants.com/bfast.html) that exhibits pretty much all the features people have described as “diner”-esque: the locations are all open 24/7 (it’s a chain but only 18 locations, all in CA) with a big menu that includes breakfast served all day, they have a bar/counter with stools, the style is kind of retro and shiny and old-fashioned, etc. > > Now what do you make of _that_? Is it a diner? Is it a restaurant? Is there really no difference? Who knows! There doesn’t have to be a “universal consensus,” just that most people agree on most places. No doubt there is some overlap. To clarify, “diner” is a subcategory of “restaurant.” So a place like Norm’s calling itself a restaurant doesn’t mean most people wouldn’t consider it a diner. It sounds like a diner to me. You’re making all this a lot harder than it is. I’m always kind of bemused in cases like this where someone claims ignorance of some distinction virtually everyone one else understands, and then doubles down on insisting the distinction doesn’t actually exist. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/113 "2015-09-16T16:34:49Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > There doesn’t have to be a “universal consensus,” just that most people agree on most places. No doubt there is some overlap. > > To clarify, “diner” is a subcategory of “restaurant.” So a place like Norm’s calling itself a restaurant doesn’t mean most people wouldn’t consider it a diner. It sounds like a diner to me. > > You’re making all this a lot harder than it is. > > I’m always kind of bemused in cases like this where someone claims ignorance of some distinction virtually everyone one else understands, and then doubles down on insisting the distinction doesn’t actually exist. I know, what’s up with that?I understood exactly what brat girl meant and probably why she wouldn’t want to go to one. Remembering when I was a kid, that wouldn’t have been a thrilling proposition to me either(not to the point that I would have refused to go though). To a spoiled, immature snotty type they probably seem “lame” , they aren’t going to be serving the main stream fast food type stuff she’s probably used to eating; they’re _unfamiliar_. She still acted like a punk. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/114 "2015-09-16T17:08:40Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > "If there needs to be a discussion about when _you_ get to choose where we’re going, my discussion technique probably differs vastly from your parents because you don’t get to say anything. > > I don’t know what they serve and why you don’t like it - I know what they _don’t_ serve, and that’s whiney little bitches. > > Until you’re paying and you’re driving, you have no choice about where we go - the only choice in _your_ hands is how you’re going to behave. And right now, since you can’t even make the most obvious choice there, why would I believe _you_ know a better place to eat? > > Just clear that whiney space in your head and think about the much, much less fortunate girls in the world who have no choice whatsoever about anything at all. Think about that. And if you choose to sulk, or carry on or continue being rude to your mother, be assured that by the time this lunch is over you will truly, truly envy them. You will wonder why your mother is my friend. > > So, keep in mind that weeks, months, even years from now all I’ll remember about today is how great it was going to the diner. All you’ll remember is how you behaved." 😃 That’s great, but it might just translate as “Blah blah blah.” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/115 "2015-09-16T17:35:24Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > I have no compunction responding to either them, or their parents. The excitement is never knowing what mood I might be in. Oh, super. I grew up walking on eggshells around a father where you never knew what mood he was in and if it was safe to relax. Consistency would be appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/116 "2015-09-16T19:20:35Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > I know, what’s up with that?I understood exactly what brat girl meant and probably why she wouldn’t want to go to one. Remembering when I was a kid, that wouldn’t have been a thrilling proposition to me either(not to the point that I would have refused to go though). **To a spoiled, immature snotty type they probably seem “lame” , they aren’t going to be serving the main stream fast food type stuff she’s probably used to eating** ; they’re _unfamiliar_. She still acted like a punk. Bolding added. I’ll admit that the distinction between diner and restaurant is not one that’s immediately obvious to me, but I thought the implied hierarchy is restaurant is fancier than diner, which in turn is fancier than fast food? So the teen in question wouldn’t want fast food if a diner meal wasn’t acceptable, right? My frame of reference for a diner is the [Silver Diner](http://www.silverdiner.com/menu/burgers), which is shiny and has counter stools and serves breakfast all day, but you’ll spend $80 feeding a family of 4, so maybe that’s not what other people in this thread think of when they think diner? As a kid, our family went out to eat very rarely, and then it was usually fast food. To my mind, anything with table service = restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/117 "2015-09-16T19:44:49Z")
> [@BetsQ](#): > > Bolding added. I’ll admit that the distinction between diner and restaurant is not one that’s immediately obvious to me, but I thought the implied hierarchy is restaurant is fancier than diner, which in turn is fancier than fast food? So the teen in question wouldn’t want fast food if a diner meal wasn’t acceptable, right? > \ Actually, I’m thinking she’d have been happier going to a fast food place because that’s what she’s used to. Mind, I obviously don’t know a thing about Her Majesty; it’s just a possible interpretation based on my experience of having been a fairly picky kid. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/118 "2015-09-16T21:21:26Z")
> [@BetsQ](#): > > Bolding added. I’ll admit that the distinction between diner and restaurant is not one that’s immediately obvious to me, but I thought the implied hierarchy is restaurant is fancier than diner, which in turn is fancier than fast food? So the teen in question wouldn’t want fast food if a diner meal wasn’t acceptable, right? Not necessarily. I wouldn’t really put “fast food” on a fanciness scale. Fast food is food that is designed to be eaten on the go. Most fast food restaurants are also huge chains, so corporate demands a certain level of quality and dependability. Fast food may not be as good as a fancy restaurant, but it’s designed to be the best quality it can be given its limitations. Sure, fast food isn’t fancy, but that’s not its only characteristic. It’s perfectly possible to run into a diner that is worse than fast food. The difference is what kinds of food are offered. Diners offer sit-down food, even if that food was purchased already prepared and just heated up. You really can’t directly compare fast food with “sit-down” food, as you’re getting something different. But you could be getting the same food at a diner as any other type of restaurant. BTW, yes, the kid was being a brat. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2015, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/119 "2015-09-16T22:02:27Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > That’s great, but it might just translate as “Blah blah blah.” Possibly, **Rilchiam** , but the whingeing stops because they’re too busy with swirling thoughts about what a bitch I am. **gigi** , this may be so - but I am not a constant in their life, so let them deal with the unpredictable consequences of their whining in the big wide world. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2015, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268/120 "2015-09-17T01:04:03Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I’m laughing just because, to avoid going to a diner, evidently you went to either a drive-in or a dive. 🙂 > > (A local place was on that show. Their burgers are decent, their buns are fantastic, but their service and atmosphere sucks balls. Also everything is sticky and it’s full of dudebros.) Those last two complaints may be related. 😛 :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoiled-teen-or-am-i-just-a-grumpy-old-lady/731268.md?page=7)