# Spongebob Squarepants - Is Squidward Gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 21, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365 "2007-08-21T14:06:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/1 "2007-08-21T14:06:03Z")
With my son visiting us for the entire summer, we’ve been subjected to hours upon hours of **Spongebob Squarepants**. I really don’t mind too much as it’s a pretty funny show and it beats a lot of the other crap he could be making me watch. Anyway, I’ve always wondered if Squidward is supposed to be gay (subtley of course). There aren’t any outright stereotyes going on or anything, but there are enough little clues that I think build a case. For example: He loves interpretive dance (and wears a full leotard w/ headband while performing). He’s sort of persnickety (not a reason in itself, but combined with everything else.) He’s an artist/musician Mostly, I’m thinking of certain lines and actions that they give Squidward. One of the recent examples being the episode where Spongebob has to have his butt put back together after it was shattered in an accident. He has to avoid any damage to his behind or else face the prospect of living his life with an iron butt. He’s walking past many obstacles when someone says, “Hey Spongebob, we finally have enough people for a seven mile long spanking machine…” SB runs away to safety and the scene ends with Squidward walking up and asking, “Is this where the line starts.” Ok, so I can’t think of any other big examples - but I know there have been several more. I believe he’s had a female love interest in the past, but that’s not proof of anything. So, am I completely nuts or does anybody else think Squidward Tenticles could be gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course! More likely, I’ve just been watching waaaaaay too much Nickelodeon. PS, Don’t get me started on Drake & Josh. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/2 "2007-08-21T14:19:16Z")
I’ve always thought Spongebob and Patrick were the gay ones. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/3 "2007-08-21T14:26:30Z")
With the exception of Mr. Krabs, I was under the assumption they were all gay. Which is just deserts for Ernest Borgnine (Mermaid Man,) who, as an academy member, refused to watch “Brokeback Mountain.” ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/4 "2007-08-21T14:31:07Z")
Oh, pfft. They’re all asexual. My theory is they’re all little boys who haven’t discovered girls yet … the era when farts are the apex of funny and girls have cooties. If Plankton gets his own fan club, I’m _so_ joining. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/5 "2007-08-21T14:57:27Z")
I think a big part of it is that Squiward sounds vaguely like Paul Lynnde. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/6 "2007-08-21T15:03:19Z")
He might sound like Paul Lynde, but I’ve always thought Squidward had more in common with Tony Randall. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/7 "2007-08-21T15:14:33Z")
I think he’s just your basic, thinks-he-has-culture, elitist… Um, what do they call those folks? The ones that live in NY City or Boston because of the **C** ulture? Like liberals, but with symphony season tickets. One of them. The spanking line - I suspect Squid wanted to join the line because he dislikes SpongeBob. Being a kids show, sometimes a spanking is just a spanking. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/8 "2007-08-21T15:15:07Z")
He’s just a high-brow, pretentious fop. Or a wanna-be, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/9 "2007-08-21T15:18:55Z")
[QUOTE=HelloNinja] PS, Don’t get me started on Drake & Josh. [/QUOTE] I’m fairly sure that neither Drake or Josh are supposed to be gay. Also, their little sister is the best character on children’s television. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/10 "2007-08-21T16:03:33Z")
[QUOTE=ShibbOleth] I’m fairly sure that neither Drake or Josh are supposed to be gay. Also, their little sister is the best character on children’s television. [/QUOTE] Don’t worry, I wasn’t suggesting that either Drake or Josh are gay… just that I watch enough of it to ramble on for a good long while about the show. I agree about their little sister, I believe she has her own show starting soon. I-Carly or something. Drake Bell I’m ho-hum about but Josh Peck has some great comedic acting chops for someone his age working with that bad of writing. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/11 "2007-08-21T16:04:59Z")
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist] The spanking line - I suspect Squid wanted to join the line because he dislikes SpongeBob. Being a kids show, sometimes a spanking is just a spanking. [/QUOTE] Except that I think he means that he’d like to go through the spanking machine, not necessarily administer the spankings… Someone above compared him to a Tony Randall type…that’s probably more accurate than my original theory. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/12 "2007-08-21T16:14:39Z")
They’re MEN! But really, they’re lucky. They get to live under the sea in a world where their sexuality will never come into question on the show, not only because it’s a show for pre-pubescents (but yeah, I like it, too), but because not a single one of them will ever be expected to have intercourse with an animal of either sex. ---
**Author:** ![Bobotheoptimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/919ad9/32.png) [@Bobotheoptimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bobotheoptimist)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/13 "2007-08-21T16:23:44Z")
[QUOTE=HelloNinja] Except that I think he means that he’d like to go through the spanking machine, not necessarily administer the spankings… [/QUOTE] See, I took it the other way, that the line was of spankers and he wanted to be first to smack SpongeBob. I think you have a dirty mind. Whatcha doin’ later? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/14 "2007-08-21T16:43:42Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] I’ve always thought Spongebob and Patrick were the gay ones. [/QUOTE] Heh…that’s what Focus on the Family says. Are they still boycotting Spongebob? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/15 "2007-08-21T20:01:08Z")
Plankton can also be concluded to be straight. He has a wife and had a crush on Mr Krabs’ mother. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/16 "2007-08-21T20:08:02Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] He might sound like Paul Lynde, but I’ve always thought Squidward had more in common with Tony Randall. [/QUOTE] Exactly what I was going to say. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/17 "2007-08-21T20:11:31Z")
[QUOTE=HelloNinja] … Mostly, I’m thinking of certain lines and actions that they give Squidward. One of the recent examples being the episode where Spongebob has to have his butt put back together after it was shattered in an accident. He has to avoid any damage to his behind or else face the prospect of living his life with an iron butt. He’s walking past many obstacles when someone says, “Hey Spongebob, we finally have enough people for a seven mile long spanking machine…” SB runs away to safety and the scene ends with Squidward walking up and asking, “Is this where the line starts.” … [/QUOTE] So only gay people are into spanking? ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/18 "2007-08-21T20:17:37Z")
[QUOTE=cmkeller] He’s just a high-brow, pretentious fop. Or a wanna-be, at any rate. [/QUOTE] That’s how I have always thought Squidward was presented. I keep thinking of the episode where Squidward dressed up and went to the fancy restaurant but couldn’t go in because Spongebob and Patrick had rented the whole place for the night. Squidward laments, “But this is my one night to be fancy!” Cracks me right up. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/19 "2007-08-21T20:54:29Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] Which is just deserts for Ernest Borgnine (Mermaid Man,) who, as an academy member, refused to watch “Brokeback Mountain.” [/QUOTE] EVIL! EVIL! (Which I believe actually were Mr. Borgnine’s exact words when asked to watch the movie.) > [@DocCathode](#): > > Plankton can also be concluded to be straight. He has a wife His wife is a computer- but that’s only because he has no friends and presumably built his wife for companionship. ---
**Author:** ![Wonderwall6129](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Wonderwall6129](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonderwall6129)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/20 "2007-08-21T20:59:35Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] EVIL! EVIL! […] [/QUOTE] Every Villain Is Lemons [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365.md?page=2)