# Spongebob Squarepants - Is Squidward Gay? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 21, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365 "2007-08-21T14:06:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/21 "2007-08-21T21:20:23Z")
He’s a guy that plays the clarinet. 'Nuff said. j/k, only half of the male clarinetists I know are gay. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/22 "2007-08-21T21:22:23Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] He might sound like Paul Lynde, but I’ve always thought Squidward had more in common with Tony Randall. [/QUOTE] 😛 ROFL ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/23 "2007-08-21T21:59:29Z")
[QUOTE=HelloNinja] . . . someone says, “Hey Spongebob, we finally have enough people for a seven mile long spanking machine…” SB runs away to safety and the scene ends with Squidward walking up and asking, “Is this where the line starts.” [/QUOTE] Why on earth would you associate spanking (or getting spanked) with being gay??? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/24 "2007-08-21T22:35:27Z")
Getting back to the question asked in the OP whatever else you might say about him Squidward is clearly a narcissist. Most (all?) of his artistic endeavors are images of himself, and there was at least one episode where there was a running gag with him being caught admiring himself in a mirror. I don’t think he loves any other creature as much as he loves himself. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/25 "2007-08-21T23:44:13Z")
I think they’re all asexual. OK, maybe not Patrick; after all, in the SpongeBob theatrical movie, he had a crush on King Neptune’s daughter Mindy. And I remember a Season 1 episode in which SpongeBob was caught by a fishing hook and had to take off his clothes to free himself, only to end up naked. He didn’t seem too self-conscious about it until he realized Pearl and her girlfriends were watching and giggling. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/26 "2007-08-22T00:19:13Z")
[QUOTE=Lucky 13] I think they’re all asexual. OK, maybe not Patrick; after all, in the SpongeBob theatrical movie, he had a crush on King Neptune’s daughter Mindy. [/QUOTE] “Didja see my underwear?- Do you want to?” ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/27 "2007-08-22T01:45:41Z")
[QUOTE=DocCathode] “Didja see my underwear?- Do you want to?” [/QUOTE] That’s an adorable childish crush. Unless you want to contemplate an anthropomorphic starfish having sex with a mermaid. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/28 "2007-08-22T01:57:06Z")
I always thought Sandy was a little butch. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/29 "2007-08-22T02:12:03Z")
Hey man no way is Patrick asexual: [Cite](http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=976) The thing that always pissed me off about Spongebob is the guy is a freaking frycook, no way he can afford that sweet Pineapple on his own. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/30 "2007-08-22T02:43:14Z")
[QUOTE=pool] Hey man no way is Patrick asexual: [Cite](http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=976) The thing that always pissed me off about Spongebob is the guy is a freaking frycook, no way he can afford that sweet Pineapple on his own. [/QUOTE] But it grew! He doesn’t have rent or a mortgage. As evidence, I offer the nematode episode. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/31 "2007-08-22T03:05:39Z")
[QUOTE=pool] Hey man no way is Patrick asexual: [Cite](http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=976) [/QUOTE] I really didn’t need to see that. 😛 My favorite episode is “Karate Choppers,” the one in which SpongeBob and Sandy become obsessed with fighting with each other: at his house, on the phone, at the grocery store, at the Krusty Krab… finally Mr. Krabs threatens to fire SpongeBob unless he gives up karate. Sandy takes him on a picnic to distract him, but soon they break down and start fighting again. It seems weird, but I found an odd sexual subtext in all this. The voice actors did too, judging by the commentary on the DVD. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/32 "2007-08-22T05:07:13Z")
Squishing yello brick Has \*Brokeback \* style “friendship” with A nude pink starfish ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/33 "2007-08-22T09:52:16Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] Squishing yello brick Has \*Brokeback \* style “friendship” with A nude pink starfish [/QUOTE] Er, Patrick wears green flowered shorts. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/34 "2007-08-22T15:46:13Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] Why on earth would you associate spanking (or getting spanked) with being gay??? 😕 [/QUOTE] When the only people you see comprising the Spanking Machine are male characters, and when a fellow male character is overly enthusiastic about going through said Spanking Machine - then I would make that association. Also, don’t know if everyone knows this, but Patrick is voiced by [Dauber from “Coach”](http://imdb.com/name/nm0265067/). ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2007, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/35 "2007-08-22T16:07:36Z")
[QUOTE=HelloNinja] Also, don’t know if everyone knows this, but Patrick is voiced by [Dauber from “Coach”](http://imdb.com/name/nm0265067/). [/QUOTE] And Mr Krabbs is voiced by the Kurgan from Highlander. “Ramirez was an effete snob he died on his knees. Uggugug” ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/36 "2007-08-24T02:53:13Z")
Wow. This is loaded. It’s about to get heavier. I am not going to talk about Patrick, Krabs, Plankton, or Sandy (Directly). Spongebob: Has a poster in a season 1 episode that reads “I Love Pain”. Shows up in a French Maid’s Uniform in an episode where Squidward loses his job. Brother can you spare a dime? is the titale of that ep, I believe. Squidward has him doing a lot of far fetched things, in the bedroom no less. Has a strong allusion to being ‘under’ Sandy and or Sandy’s ““bottom”” . He is even shown as “Property of Sandy Cheeks”. Sandy talks about how she ((basically)) takes care of Spongebob, and how he couldn’t survive with out her. I can continue on this angle, but I dont think we need to ask if S. Bob is ‘gay’. That is, we should not ask WHO he has in bed with him, but rather WHAT it is they do in bed. (( I’m just stating something that NEEDS to be addressed given the OP and where the responses have gone.)) Squidward: I would argue that Squid is Metrosexual, he is overconcerened for how he looks etc. (He pampers himself, takes him self out on occasion, etc. But then, Patrick once asked Bob for bath beads as well.) Squid is perhaps in love with himself, more than others. Nearly all his artwork is of him. (He comments in one episode, that he has portrayed him self in every medium.) Krabs once said “Squidward is, you know…(pause) Artsy” which I think is as close as Krabs is going to come ‘personally’ stating Squid’s orientation. (As seen on TV – Krusty Krabs commercial). Squid once said that he had a date with some one… Named Claire Annette. I don’t know about Squid. I think he has been single for too long, and can’t invest in a SO (of any gender) for a number of various and small reasons that all add up at the end of the day. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/37 "2007-08-27T03:39:18Z")
In a badly drawn Pineapple under the sea, Spongebob, Squarepants! His neighbor is gay and we think so is he! Spongebob Sqaurepants! ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/38 "2007-08-27T14:07:27Z")
Well, [del]I was watching an episode yesterd[/del]. Ahem. _My daughter_ was watching an episode yesterday wherein Patrick dressed in drag to avoid some lawyer-to-the-Mob-looking fish who appeared to be trying to evict him from Bikini Bottom. “Patricia”, clad in a green bikini and sporting blonde pigtails, was given a job at the Crusty Crab where “she” had to endure the lusty attentions of the male customers and fend off romantic advancements from both Mr. Crabs _and_ Squidward. Unable to sustain the illusion a moment longer, “Patricia” tears away “her” swimsuit in the middle of the dining room, declares his identity as a male of the species, and announces to one and all that he shall no longer pretend to be someone he is not. Were it the writers’ intent to portray Squidward as being gay, I think the expression of horror on the aforesaid decapod’s face at the sudden display of masculine anatomy would have been far less pronounced. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/39 "2007-08-27T17:22:34Z")
I loves me some Spongebob. It is the best kids cartoon out there, bar none. I’ve waffled between Squidward being gay and Squidward being an elitist I-love-myself-snob since the first viewing. Personally, my burning question has always been: If Mr. Krabbs is a crab, and his daughter Pearl is a Whale then what is Mrs. Crabbs and where is she? \*\*P.O.O.P: People Order Our Patties \*\* ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365/40 "2007-08-27T20:44:17Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Personally, my burning question has always been: If Mr. Krabbs is a crab, and his daughter Pearl is a Whale then what is Mrs. Crabbs [/QUOTE] I thought Pearl was adopted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spongebob-squarepants-is-squidward-gay/416365.md?page=3)