# Spontaneous Human Combustion **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [March 20, 2000, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223 "2000-03-20T07:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2000, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/21 "2000-03-29T08:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Quisling: > **People, People, People!!! Hello!!! Is anyone not figuring out the topic here??? You are all missing out on the point that this is completely and obviously caused by VAMPIRES being staked here. What is described by the remains of SHC is exactly what happens when I kill one of those blood suckers. Sheesh!!! you’d think people didn’t believe in vampires or something 🙂** Quis, how do you go about determining the vampire’s ethnicity? You are aware of Cecil’s discussion on this matter, are you not? If not see [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_039.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_039.html) ## BTW, none of the methods listed by Cecil involve burning, which is probably why it didn’t occur to him that SHC is the result of defunct vampires. Dan Tilque ---
**Author:** ![The\_Ryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7feea3/32.png) [@The\_Ryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Ryan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/22 "2000-03-30T02:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by JoeyBlades: > \*\* > Well, I haven’t heard anyone telling stories of how their bodies spontaneously burst into flames, but fortunately they were in the shower at the time… OK, it’s not evidence, but fairly compelling, nevertheless. > \*\* Or, for that matter. someone saying “I was talking to Bob when suddenly he spontaneously combusted.” Yeah, I can see how if some has passed out because of alcohol, they might not wake up even if they caught on fire. I didn’t read Cecil’s column until after i posted; if I had, I would have seen that part of the explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Quisling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47c2d/32.png) [@Quisling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quisling)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2000, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/23 "2000-03-30T07:37:00Z")
!!!dtilque!!! I guess I can sorta see your point on that but as he pointed out in the ethnicities a stake throught the heart is pretty common. It is the one sure way of killing almost any vampire. Now what he didn’t describe is what happens AFTER you stake them through the heart. Sadly to say the bodies don’t just sit there for everyone to see. The burst into flames very shortly and go to dust rather quickly or some pretty yucky remains at the least. Hope this clears things up 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2000, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/24 "2000-04-03T10:45:00Z")
Yes, everything except why a duck. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/25 "2000-04-12T04:27:00Z")
Quisling, SHC can be better explained, not by the staking of a vampire, but by the results of a Flamestrike spell that a 7th Level Cleric (or 5th Level Druid) can cast. It does 5d12 hit dice damage – more than enough to disintegrate a 0 level NPC. By casting a Detect Magic and Detect Evil spell on the remains, you can deduce the alignment of the caster and thus know whether the fiery execution was criminal or just in nature. If criminal, you can be sure it was someone from the Band of the Black Eye hiding out on Al Amarja who cast the spell. Peace. ---
**Author:** ![CatInHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@CatInHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatInHat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/26 "2000-04-12T14:09:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Babar714: > \*\*Yes, everything except why a duck. \*\* Why a no chicken? 😉 SHC is also a convenient plot device for getting rid of the bad guy, as Unca Cecil pointed out in his column (the character in _Bleak House_ who spontaneously combusted). Dickens didn’t mention whether or not he was a vampire, but given that the book was (IIRC) about 1000 pages long, he certainly had ample opportunity to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Quisling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47c2d/32.png) [@Quisling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quisling)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/27 "2000-04-13T06:55:00Z")
I don’t think I could agree with a hypothesis of a high level fireball. Most destroyed corpses with the mortal wound being inflicted by a fireball tend to be flung back at least 15-20 feet before being charred with a high impact, unless they hit a wall first. Even a Fire Wall or column would allow the victim to run around a bit before burning to death. I will have to stick with the Vampire cause. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/28 "2000-04-30T01:24:23Z")
its a conspiracy!!! ---
**Author:** ![HaploXL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@HaploXL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HaploXL)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2000, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/29 "2000-04-30T06:06:12Z")
Well i would just liek to say…wait…whats that …no…NO…NOOOOOOOOOOOOO _poof_ ---
**Author:** ![plank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@plank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plank)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/30 "2000-05-02T02:01:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Quis, how do you go about determining the vampire’s ethnicity? You are aware of Cecil’s discussion on this matter, are you not? If not see > [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1\_039.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_039.html) > \*\* Those Hungarians don’t take any chances, do they? ---
**Author:** ![Quisling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e47c2d/32.png) [@Quisling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quisling)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223/31 "2000-05-04T02:03:01Z")
Plank-------- The whole deal with the ethnicity of the vampire is simply a case of distorted lies and truths there is of course only a handful of ways to kill a vampire for sure! Decapitation, Sunlight, and Burning. And a stake through the heart is a safe beat most of the time 🙂 Although I would still decapitate the creature afterwards and if he didn’t burst into flames well… “light it up!” Quisling [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spontaneous-human-combustion/1223.md?page=1)