# Spoof Campaign Pledges **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 25, 2012, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947 "2012-02-25T12:42:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/1 "2012-02-25T12:42:15Z")
“Four eggs in every omelette, and televisions in every car!” “I say to you, citizens of Pigonia, from this day forth we shall build only houses of brick.” ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/2 "2012-02-25T13:12:39Z")
No sets are safe sets! Topoi for the future! Abstractions for our children; bindings for our values; forms for our dreams: Lambda Party. ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/3 "2012-02-26T10:38:07Z")
“Fewer trees, more forests!” “Your children will be safe, and your pets will be safer!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/4 "2012-02-26T17:01:02Z")
“The Jury Failed to Convict!” ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/5 "2012-02-26T17:11:43Z")
“My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball. But tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!” ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/6 "2012-02-26T20:46:02Z")
“By the end of my second term, America will have a base on the Moon.” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/7 "2012-02-27T09:06:53Z")
“Bringing the doctrine of MAD to law enforcement.” “We experiment on you for your own good.” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/8 "2012-02-27T10:42:45Z")
“I promise to never bring religion into politics!” ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/9 "2012-02-27T18:56:28Z")
“Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!” ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/10 "2012-02-27T19:38:59Z")
“A chicken in every pot, and pot for every chicken!” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/11 "2012-02-27T19:47:19Z")
“Pot for all, and… I forget the rest.” ---
**Author:** ![Esox\_Lucius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Esox\_Lucius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esox_Lucius)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoof-campaign-pledges/613947/12 "2012-02-27T20:23:29Z")
“It’s the stupid economy.”