# spoonerisms **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 1999, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959 "1999-10-04T14:11:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/1 "1999-10-04T14:11:00Z")
I used to try and make them up.Found some good ones. It’s where you take 2 words,and change the first consonants to make 2 other legitimate words. Examples: white lines-light wines.small isles-all smiles.Anybody got any others? ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_Next\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@Girl\_Next\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_Next_Door)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/2 "1999-10-04T14:13:00Z")
I’ve never attempted to make them, but I do plenty inadvertently: Chicklet Chop Cookies Is this where they pilmed fart of it? I was going to flat a swy . . . ---
**Author:** ![cody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cody)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/3 "1999-10-04T15:17:00Z")
Let me sew you to your sheet. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/4 "1999-10-04T18:13:00Z")
My husband is the king (at least in our household) of unintentional spoonerisms, malapropisms or just plain mangled English. Just yesterday he mentioned a record he had as a child that was narrated by the actor Karl Borloff (Boris Karloff). * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/5 "1999-10-04T18:24:00Z")
Once, at the movie theater box-office, I sent the attendant off her chair when I stepped up to the window, and said “Yes, I’d like three tickets for Ratman and Bobbin, please.” Another time, I was talking about a Mark Twain novel, and came out with “Fuckleberry Hinn”. It must be genetic. I recall a time from my childhood when my mother attempted to say “Cornish game hen” and couldn’t quite manage it. She must have gone through all the permutations (“Gamish corn hen”, “Camish gorn hen”, “Ganish corm hen”, etc.) before she got it right. Well, that’s all I have to say on the subject for now. I think I’m going to shake a tower. ---
**Author:** ![AWB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bb73d2/32.png) [@AWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AWB)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/6 "1999-10-04T18:27:00Z")
[list][li]The three H’s of Virginia Summer: Hamed, Hoot, and Hozzy.[/li]Ossifer, I’m not as thunk as you drink I am. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 1999, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/7 "1999-10-04T19:15:00Z")
My good friend Brandon came up with this gem… “What the hell are you thinking? You must be smackin’ croak!” ---
**Author:** ![timmar68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/97f17d/32.png) [@timmar68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/timmar68)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 1999, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/8 "1999-10-05T04:06:00Z")
When I tease Greg, I tickle his armpits, but I say “Do you want your pits tickled?”. One day, I accidently said, “Do you want your tits pickled?”. (I swear it’s true!) * * * MaryAnn Sometimes life is so great you just gotta muss up your hair and quack like a duck! ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 1999, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/9 "1999-10-05T04:25:00Z")
Unfortunately, in my previous post, I didn’t quite get all the spoonerisms I’ve used in one swell foop. But still, I owe you a gret of dadditude… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 1999, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/10 "1999-10-05T05:40:00Z")
You got me thlappin’ my sighs and halfing so lard I nearly gusted a butt! Ling love the plord way! ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/11 "1999-10-06T01:47:00Z")
Probably neither of these qualify as bona fide spoonerisms, but here ya go… In a skit in college that involved a couple of soviet commies (in English) one greeted another with “Mood Gorning, Comrade!” Really worked to make him seem Russian. Also, I’ve got a Chinese friend who regularly says, “We’re goin’ over this with a fine comb tooth.” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/12 "1999-10-06T02:45:00Z")
Go to [http://www.capsteps.com](http://www.capsteps.com) and order one of their tapes. Listen to “Lirty Dies” on any of them. They rip the lid off every scandal of past years, showing that Clill Blinton is a gorny hi even though he pretends to be a sponogamous mouse. My favorite was that of Wee Pee Herman about the cops raking their mounds in the porn theater. “You don’t want to hear me speak. You just want me to say one of those . . . . things!” – Rev. Spooner. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_Next\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@Girl\_Next\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_Next_Door)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/13 "1999-10-06T04:56:00Z")
Oh, I’ve heard that Capitol Steps routing before. I nearly pizzed in my wants I laughed so hard! * * * Leslie Irish Evans [http://leslie.scrappy.net](http://leslie.scrappy.net) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/14 "1999-10-06T04:56:00Z")
Weed it and reap, Rev. Spooner, we’re faking mun of you still. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_Next\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@Girl\_Next\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_Next_Door)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/15 "1999-10-06T04:57:00Z")
_routine_ not “routing”. Tamn dypos! * * * Leslie Irish Evans [http://leslie.scrappy.net](http://leslie.scrappy.net) ---
**Author:** ![ChrisCTP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/16 "1999-10-06T05:03:00Z")
My friends and I do this all the time, completely unintentionally of course… The thing is, we giggle and giggle about it for hours afterwards, and now I can’t remember a single one to share… Shit. * * * Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought. ---
**Author:** ![GOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/34f0e0/32.png) [@GOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GOD)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/17 "1999-10-07T05:21:00Z")
Give unto Thaesar cat which is Thaesar’s. ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/18 "1999-10-07T05:51:00Z")
Let’s not forget the Tale of Two Cities. (Sale of Two Titties) ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 1999, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/19 "1999-10-06T23:29:00Z")
I just posted on the thread called “Lirty Dies” … if I’da known this kinda stuff was in MPSIMS, I mighta showed up more often. The Reverend Dr William Archibald Spooner (1930-1844) didn’t actually have that many tongue-twister lapses, but his name was assigned to that brand of humour anyway. Dick Wittington was investigating warring factions of a Chinese secret society. They took his pet hostage, but the police were unsympathetic: “What’s the matter?” they asked, “Tong got your cat?” The famous star of _True Grit_ and so many other westerns wanted to help conserve valuable cemetary space by being encased in translucent resin rather than be buried, much as nature preserves fossils. Tourists can go today to see his remains and those of his family: The Amber Graves of Wayne. A golfer remarked to his buddy about an attractive young woman: “Forget it, she’s an unpliable lay.” Advertisement for Viagra: “It’s help to get good hard.” ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 1999, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959/20 "1999-10-07T04:47:00Z")
That’s all gery vine and food, cut ban you explain how a lie gives from 1930 to 1844? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spoonerisms/8959.md?page=2)