# sports headlines that failed **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [March 14, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678 "2011-03-14T17:54:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/1 "2011-03-14T17:54:34Z")
> **[The Funniest Sports Headline FAILS](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/sports-headline-fails_n_835295)** > > The Funniest Sports Headline FAILS My favorite in Detroit was the day Colon struck out a bunch of Tigers in a victory. The headline was “wiffs of Colon smother Tigers”. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/2 "2011-03-14T18:17:29Z")
Bartolo Colon gets the best headlines. I’ve seen these two for him: “Colon absorbs another pounding” “Royals To Get A Taste Of Angels’ Colon” ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/3 "2011-03-14T19:51:14Z")
My favorite is one I saw many years ago, reprinted in a National Lampoon book, referring to a game between women’s teams from the University of Washington and the University of Oregon: “Husky Women Subdue Ducks” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/4 "2011-03-14T19:55:30Z")
Clinton Licks Beavers and the Pope is Catholic ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/5 "2011-03-14T20:15:35Z")
When USoCal (Trojans) plays Oregon St (Beavers), it is a great opportunity for some creative headlines. For example: **Trojans Penetrate Beaver Defense**. Not a headline but I remember a caption for many many years ago when Steve Lundquist was a Olympic Swimmer. The Atlanta Journal ran a caption under a picture of Lundquist in a speedo. Caption: **Steve Lundquist may be the World’s Best Breaststroker**. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/6 "2011-03-15T14:08:47Z")
delete post ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/7 "2011-03-15T15:39:13Z")
[Here’s a snapshot of one of my faves](http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn210/hrhomer/soggyholes.jpg). It’s about a golf tournament. Joe ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/8 "2011-03-15T19:09:46Z")
It is not just sports. An old Detroit high school got a new principal. His mission was to clean the school up because it was a filthy mess. He was cleaning and polishing the floors. It showed a picture of the new principals hface . he was black. The headline was “School has a new Shine”. Where are the proof readers. ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/9 "2011-03-15T19:15:52Z")
Not all that long ago… [Tired Gay Succumbs to Dix](http://www.reuters.com/article/2010/07/03/us-athletics-diamond-idUSTRE6622I420100703) ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/10 "2011-03-15T20:04:46Z")
A-Rod goes deep, Wang hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Anticounterrevolutionary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f04885/32.png) [@Anticounterrevolutionary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anticounterrevolutionary)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/11 "2011-03-15T20:06:02Z")
In 2000, the Glasgow Celtic football club lost 3-1 at home vs. the much smaller Inverness Caledonian Thistles. The next day the headline was: [“Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious.”](http://zo-au.com/super-caley-go-ballistic-celtic-are-atrocious) ---
**Author:** ![ShadowFacts](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shadowfacts/32/2934_2.png) [@ShadowFacts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowFacts)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/12 "2011-03-15T20:13:34Z")
> [@Anticounterrevolutionary](#): > > In 2000, the Glasgow Celtic football club lost 3-1 at home vs. the much smaller Inverness Caledonian Thistles. The next day the headline was: > > [“Super Caley go ballistic, Celtic are atrocious.”](http://zo-au.com/super-caley-go-ballistic-celtic-are-atrocious) That is the opposite of failure. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/13 "2011-03-15T20:16:28Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Bartolo Colon gets the best headlines. I’ve seen these two for him: > > “Colon absorbs another pounding” > “Royals To Get A Taste Of Angels’ Colon” [Argel Fucks](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arg%C3%A9lico_Fucks) once was the subject of a headline, after being traded to a club elsewhere in Europe: Fucks off to Benefico The Super Calley headline is almost as good as Headless Body in Topless Bar. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/14 "2011-03-16T03:31:44Z")
The Detroit Blows headline with the picture of the one Lion’s head in the crotch of another Lion is unbelievable. I’m sure someone did that on purpose. Probably lost some money on the game. But I can’t believe it made it through the editors. Number 15 (the last one) on the list. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/15 "2011-03-16T20:43:01Z")
[Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief](http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=337901&cc=5901) ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/16 "2011-03-18T02:53:55Z")
I immediately thought of the Colon one when I read the thread title. One that I’ve never seen, but would be appropriate anytime the University of South Carolina loses: (Tigers, Eagles, etc.) Beat the Cocks ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-headlines-that-failed/574678/17 "2011-03-20T15:26:30Z")
> **[Funniest Headline Of The Day](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/strip-search-headline_n_837703)** > > Funniest Headline Of The Day Here is one ,not sports, that is amusing. this cop was very perceptive.