# Sports team of GOAT clones **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [July 7, 2017, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708 "2017-07-07T17:25:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/21 "2017-07-07T21:25:29Z")
I think a team of MJ’s would beat a team of LBJ’s in a 7 game series, assuming each gets to adjust to the rules (are you playing by 1996 rules or 2017 rules?) ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/22 "2017-07-07T21:29:23Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > A team of GOAT-clones definitely couldn’t succeed in the NFL. But I wonder what is the best team they could beat? I would say they could easily take down a high school team. but how well could they do against a college team? A team if Bo Jacksons would not be easy to beat. He has the perfect combo of strength and speed. OLinemen might have a strength and size edge, but he has a quickness and speed advantage. It would all come down to how well he could throw the ball. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/23 "2017-07-07T21:51:21Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > A team if Bo Jacksons would not be easy to beat. He has the perfect combo of strength and speed. OLinemen might have a strength and size edge, but he has a quickness and speed advantage. It would all come down to how well he could throw the ball. I don’t think his throwing arm would be decisive. You wouldn’t run a spread or NFL-style offense with Bo at QB. You’d run an old-school 80’s Huskers-style option attack. QB Bo sweeps right with the option to pitch out to HB Bo, or on rare occasions to pass up to WR Bo when the defensive back has abandoned coverage thinking that Bo’s committed to running and Bo is so ridiculously wide open that even Bo can’t fail to hit his receiver. I do agree that a team of Bo Jacksons would be tough to handle for most college teams, outside of the real powerhouse programs that probably have O lines that would overwhelm Bo trying to play guard and stuff the run. The Bos could probably generate a pass rush that would be a nightmare, but could they stop 3 yards and a cloud of dust against a 300lb-on-average O-line? ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/24 "2017-07-07T22:03:17Z")
> [@Gorsnak](#): > > I don’t think his throwing arm would be decisive. You wouldn’t run a spread or NFL-style offense with Bo at QB. You’d run an old-school 80’s Huskers-style option attack. QB Bo sweeps right with the option to pitch out to HB Bo, or on rare occasions to pass up to WR Bo when the defensive back has abandoned coverage thinking that Bo’s committed to running and Bo is so ridiculously wide open that even Bo can’t fail to hit his receiver. > > I do agree that a team of Bo Jacksons would be tough to handle for most college teams, outside of the real powerhouse programs that probably have O lines that would overwhelm Bo trying to play guard and stuff the run. The Bos could probably generate a pass rush that would be a nightmare, but could they stop 3 yards and a cloud of dust against a 300lb-on-average O-line? Imagine an all-No spread offense. He would be hard to stop in one on one coverage. He’ll flatten the secondary. Hurry up genetic modification so we can make this happen. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/25 "2017-07-07T22:08:51Z")
A basketball team of Magic Johnson clones works for me. Great point guard but big enough to play the other positions. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2017, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/26 "2017-07-07T22:30:17Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > A basketball team of Magic Johnson clones works for me. Great point guard but big enough to play the other positions. Remember game 6 of the 1979-80 finals…Kareem out with a sprained ankle. 19 year old Magic steps up and scores 42 points 15 rebounds and 6 assists playing center. Excellent choice. ---
**Author:** ![lisiate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@lisiate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisiate)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/27 "2017-07-08T03:50:06Z")
Jonah Lomu rugby had a team of Jonah Lomus as an unlockable feature. It was pretty unstoppable as it would have been in real life. You would have no real kicking game and the scrum might have been a little weak but 15 Jonahs in open play would have been amazing. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/28 "2017-07-08T04:06:46Z")
I might give some thought to trotting out 9 Madison Bumgarners and see how I do by the trade deadline. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/29 "2017-07-08T14:45:54Z")
In American football, even the best imaginable athlete isn’t versatile enough to play EVERY position well. Bo Jackson was a phenomenal athlete, but at his size, he COULDN’T block Reggie White or JJ Watt. Fast as he was, he COULDN’T have covered DeSean Jackson or Joey Galloway. And as a receiver, he couldn’t have shaken Deion Sanders or Champ Bailey. And he probably didn’t have the arm to play quarterback. American football is too specialized for even a GREAT athlete to play every position well. Same for baseball. Though if I HAD to pick one man to clone, it might be Bob Gibson. Brilliant pitcher, but also a great overall athlete and a decent hitter. The Gibson clones would keep the score low and might scratch out enough hits here and there to win some 1-0 or 2-1 games. Walter Johnson was also a decent hitter for a pitcher, and would be worth a try. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/30 "2017-07-08T15:56:12Z")
A team Of Mario Lemieuxs would be very tempting for a 7 game series. The rest of the Hockey all-timers(Gretzky, Orr, Howe) are all around 6-0 180 to 200 or so. Lemieux’s bigger size plus his skill might wear the rest of the teams down in a long series, especially if reffed to a more physical era standard. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/31 "2017-07-08T17:30:31Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > In American football, even the best imaginable athlete isn’t versatile enough to play EVERY position well. > > Bo Jackson was a phenomenal athlete, but at his size, he COULDN’T block Reggie White or JJ Watt. Fast as he was, he COULDN’T have covered DeSean Jackson or Joey Galloway. And as a receiver, he couldn’t have shaken Deion Sanders or Champ Bailey. And he probably didn’t have the arm to play quarterback. > > American football is too specialized for even a GREAT athlete to play every position well. > > Same for baseball. Though if I HAD to pick one man to clone, it might be Bob Gibson. Brilliant pitcher, but also a great overall athlete and a decent hitter. The Gibson clones would keep the score low and might scratch out enough hits here and there to win some 1-0 or 2-1 games. Walter Johnson was also a decent hitter for a pitcher, and would be worth a try. Here is Bo Jackson running a 4.13 40…faster than Deion Sanders best. > **[Bo Jackson ran a 4.13 40-yard dash - ESPN Video](https://www.espn.com/video/clip?id=14869826)** > > Bo Jackson joins His & Hers to share the story of when he ran the 40-yard dash at the 1986 NFL combine. Jackson says that he ran it in 4.13 seconds, not the previously recorded 4.12 time. His athleticism was unmatched. OL No would only need to redirect DL…not really hold blocks for long. WR Bo was faster than CBS and stronger. He would wear them down. In baseball Bo had a powerful arm but that might not translate to a good QB arm. And we know No didnt mind contact…ask Brian Bosworth. Give the man his due. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/32 "2017-07-08T18:01:35Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Remember game 6 of the 1979-80 finals…Kareem out with a sprained ankle. 19 year old Magic steps up and scores 42 points 15 rebounds and 6 assists playing center. Excellent choice. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe Magic _started_ at center in that game but actually played all five positions at one point during that title-clinching victory. Anyway, I’ll take Wilt Chamberlain. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/33 "2017-07-08T18:40:24Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > I might give some thought to trotting out 9 Madison Bumgarners and see how I do by the trade deadline. I’d rather have a team of Buster Posey clones. I think the best answer to this question is Magic Johnson. I’m not sure he’s the best player at any one position, but I’m pretty sure he’s the best player at \*all \*positions. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2017, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/34 "2017-07-08T18:40:45Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > His athleticism was unmatched. OL No would only need to redirect DL…not really hold blocks for long. WR Bo was faster than CBS and stronger. He would wear them down. In baseball Bo had a powerful arm but that might not translate to a good QB arm. And we know No didnt mind contact…ask Brian Bosworth. Give the man his due. 🙂 I think you are underestimating the importance of O- and D-line play, and overestimating Bo’s ability to do it. O-line, okay, you can maybe tailor your offense to never need to hold the opponent’s D-line at bay for more than a few seconds (though this is going to be much, much harder than you think). But defensively you’re just screwed because you have no ability to dictate how the play unfolds. Bo is 6’1" and played at around 230lbs. Playing guard or tackle on defense, he is going to get hit by someone 6" taller and 70-80lbs heavier than him every single play. I don’t care how athletic he is, he is going backwards. Every single play. The running back will be hitting big holes that are already two yards downfield from the line of scrimmage. They’ll average 5 yards a carry easy even if the linebacker and safety Bos sell out against the run. And if they do sell out against the run, the offense will be happy to light you up with passing. It doesn’t matter how athletic Bo is. It’s a numbers game. The five offensive down lineman will require at least 2 double-teams to make up for the size disadvantage, making it 6 vs 4 in the rest of the field of play. Impossible. ---
**Author:** ![TheBoltEater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheBoltEater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoltEater)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/35 "2017-07-09T01:55:57Z")
NFL certainly seems to be the most difficult. If I had to try, I’d take 22 JJ Watts. At 6’5", 295lbs he can hold up on both sides of the line without making a fool of himself. He already does occasionally play Tight End, so you could run, like, a Wildcat QB, 1 Fullback, 1 Tailback, and 3 TEs and probably score some points on most teams. The real problem here is 4 JJ Watt Defensive Backs. Teams are going throw on you all day and score at will. And if you try to play some sort of deep umbrella coverage, a good OL will run all over a D with just 5 in the box. As mentioned above - Bo was amazing. Practically inhuman. But while a Bo offense could find some ways to score, a Bo defense could never hope to stop teams from just running the ball right down his throat. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/36 "2017-07-09T12:29:06Z")
Since defense seems to be the problem with football, what about a team composed entirely of some appropriate defensive player? Is there anyone who could plausibly keep the other team scoreless for a full game, while still maybe managing to get in one score of his own (possibly off of a turnover, or maybe a safety)? Or are there still too many specializations even on the defensive side? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/37 "2017-07-09T12:50:26Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Since defense seems to be the problem with football, what about a team composed entirely of some appropriate defensive player? Is there anyone who could plausibly keep the other team scoreless for a full game, while still maybe managing to get in one score of his own (possibly off of a turnover, or maybe a safety)? Or are there still too many specializations even on the defensive side? The best cornerbacks are way too small to be defensive lineman or linebackers and the best linemen are far too slow to cover the top receivers. Even a linebacker as great as Ray Lewis was too slow to cover Jerry Rice and too small to take on a nose tackle. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2017, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/38 "2017-07-09T17:07:07Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > I think you’d be better off, however, with a hockey team of Wayne Gretzkys. I don’t know if Gretzky ever played goalie, but > > 1. All evidence suggests he’d learn the position really fast, and get at least pretty decent at it, and > 2. With a team of Gretzkys in front of him the Gretzky-goalie wouldn’t see many shots anyway. Every game would be a comical slaughter. No regular NHL team could withstand waves of Gretzkys. Although it would not be possible to beat a team of The Great One, it would be possible to play them to a tie against a team made entirely of Bobby Baun. Bobby Baun was the best goalie who was never a goalie. He frustrated Plante by screening him to stop the shots, and when given the preference when stopping a shot, he always chose to fall on his knees and take it in the face rather than his torso. Baun played with a slit neck and then celebrated later that evening by being hospitalized for a blood-fill-up while his wife gave birth (and yes, NHLer Kyle Baun is one of their grandchildren). Gordie Howe cracked Baun’s fib in a penultimate Cup game, but that didn’t stop Baun, who played with a busted leg somehow scored (he usually wasn’t much of a shooter) to force a seventh game, in which he played so well that the Leaf’s won the Cup and he was declared to be one of the three stars of the game. > **[50 years later, Maple Leafs legend Bobby Baun still unstoppable](https://www.thestar.com/sports/hockey/50-years-later-maple-leafs-legend-bobby-baun-still-unstoppable/article_72dd845d-0b7b-58d6-b581-ca78c98d968e.html)** > > On April 23, 1964, on a broken leg, Bobby Baun scored one of the franchise’s most famous goals. But he hasn’t let one goal define his life. A winning Game 6 goal on a broken leg is just one more yarn for the Leaf legend, a skilled storyteller whose... There have been and are better hockey players than Baun for every aspect of the game except one: > [@](#): > > “Pain didn’t bother me much,” he says. “Still doesn’t.” How, one might ask, can someone be so determined in life? > [@](#): > > “It’s like when you’re leaving home or leaving to go to work and your wife wants to make love.” I said, “You make love like it’s the last time you’ll ever make love.” Bobby Baun is now eighty, with a passion for pain that is unsurpassed, so if it is time for a few of him to make the ultimate sacrifice to win one more Cup, I expect he would be willing. Just stack up six of him like cordwood in his goal crease. As long as none of him make an r.27 or r.67 error, the Gretzkys will be foiled. With there being no rule to remove dead players laying on the ice, and with twenty Bobby Bauns on the roster to replace the dead ones that fall off of the top of the pile, I think that there’s a good chance that Bobby Baun could prevent Gretzky from scoring during an hour of ice time. ---
**Author:** ![TheBoltEater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@TheBoltEater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheBoltEater)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/39 "2017-07-10T02:59:43Z")
How about a team of Jonathan Ogdens? At 6’9" and 345 pounds or so, you could potentially have a devastating ground game. Direct snap to J.O. in shotgun and give him 10 other J.O.s to block? Since this team couldn’t punt or kick anyway, you’d go for it on all 4th downs and 2 point conversions. I feel like this team might actually have a chance. It’d all come down to turnovers. No one would even think of trying to run the ball against this team; so if the other offense was run by, say, Jay Cutler, there’s a decent chance he might finish the day 9-10 for 600 yards and 9 TDs, but hopefully 1 terrible interception or stupid fumble too. A D-Line entirely made up of guys 6’9" tall would be tough to throw over and cause havoc with your sight lines. Seems like it would all come down to turnovers. If J.O. is a fumbler my team is screwed. If he can hold on to the ball and just fall forward, I’ll get the 2.5 yards per play I need to run the most relentless ground game in NFL history. And don’t forget - my team will never get tired, with a whole bench full of J.O.s subbing in at will. By the 4th quarter, the other team’s D is going to be in ruins. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2017, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708/40 "2017-07-10T03:37:52Z")
What team sports have not been covered? Doubles tennis - given how good venus+serena were, hard to see how 2xSerena or 2xFederer wouldn’t just dominate. I’m sure that someone knowledgeable about Tennis can suggest which potential GOATs have the best skill set to translate to doubles, but seems unlikely that it wouldn’t work at all. Any relay race - 4 GOATs have to win. No one could touch Usain Bolt in a 4x100 relay. One possible exception is the mixed medley in swimming. Would 4x Michael Phelps at his peak beat a team of a specialist in each individual stroke? My gut is yes, given how many of those strokes he was the WR holder at… Volleyball - the volleyball setter has some very specialized skills… but at the same time, everyone on the court can set at least some, because they have to be able to if the second ball comes to them. So the question is how much you gain by having 6 of the absolute best hitter and blocker ever (plus GOAT fresh legs from off the court), vs how much you lose by not having a specialized setter on the court? My instinct is that 6 GOATs would dominate, but that’s a bit of a sketchy guess. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/sports-team-of-goat-clones/790708.md?page=3)