# Spouse Burns Up House **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2015, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630 "2015-08-12T05:10:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/21 "2015-08-15T01:21:37Z")
> [@missred](#): > > But usually, gas stoves have electric pilot lights. 😃 You can still use a flame to light a burner, so she’d have to hide the matches. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/22 "2015-08-15T01:43:18Z")
> [@Jeff\_Lichtman](#): > > You can still use a flame to light a burner, so she’d have to hide the matches. And hope he doesn’t just leave the gas on. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/23 "2015-08-15T01:46:29Z")
> [@usedtobe](#): > > [Lorena Bobbitt] > > Wait until he’s asleep and then \*cut it off![/] > > [/Lorena Bobbitt] [Uncle Buck] Wait til she’s asleep, get a drill, and then drill them out with a 3/8 bit drill. 2 inches up from the bump on her pelvic bone, 3 inches in from each of her sides. [/Uncle Buck] ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/24 "2015-08-15T21:32:01Z")
Jesus, Count, that’s a bit creepy… ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/25 "2015-08-16T01:09:54Z")
Take the knobs off. Of the stove, I mean. Not his knobs. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/26 "2015-08-16T12:52:14Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > Jesus, Count, that’s a bit creepy… From a cold start, sure. In context, it seemed like sauce for the gander. Mine once put a pot full of plums on to stew and then decided she needed to go sleep the rest of the afternoon away. We never did get that pot clean. She pulled a similar stunt another time when she was boiling up a can of condensed milk for pie filling (fortunately the can didn’t explode or anything dramatic). I’ve long since given up on trying to convince her that the stovetop is not just an extension of the kitchen counter surface, because after all, we’ve only melted through a couple of plastic chopping boards that way and don’t go on about it. It would be nice to say that the sex was crazy good and more than made up for everything. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Marion\_Wormer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Marion\_Wormer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marion_Wormer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/27 "2015-08-16T14:43:41Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Not enough information. > > My spouse has always had a bad habit of putting something on to cook and then leaving the kitchen, getting distracted by something shiny, and then having all sorts of merriment as a result. I just want to pass on to those that have spouses that repeatedly forget they have food cooking on the stove that this is an early sign of dementia. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/28 "2015-08-16T15:41:54Z")
For the last couple days I’ve been telling my GF that she will burn the food processor if she keeps using it the way she does. Why do women live longer than men? Because it’s the man who has to rush into a toxic smoke filled kitchen to unplug the burning appliance. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/29 "2015-08-16T18:42:14Z")
> [@Atomic\_Mama](#): > > He was boiling WATER to cook oatmeal at 11:30pm. (WHY?!?!?!?) The pot ran outta water, started burning up (ugly teflon pot, BTW), which set off the smoke alarm & made a stinky smell. I also like to boil water in a teflon pot; otherwise I have problems with water sticking to the bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630/30 "2015-08-16T18:42:53Z")
> [@Isosleepy](#): > > Thread title seems Dr. Seuss-worthy. Spouse burns the house? Was she cooking a grouse? Did she kill the mouse? Did it get rid of the louse? Was there any water with which to douse? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/spouse-burns-up-house/727630.md?page=1)